Today, my husband is sulking because I wouldn't let him do what he's always wanted to do: throw our cat out the second floor window to see if she would land safely and on all fours. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I shut the door to the bedroom so my wife and I could have a serious talk. Unfortunately, the cat stuck his paw under the door and started flailing around, causing me to bust up laughing at a bad moment. My wife was furious, threw a water bottle at me, and locked me out overnight. FML
Today, I once again walked in on my husband eating our cat's food. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband eating cat food out of the cat bowl dressed in a cat costume. FML
Today, my boyfriend got irrationally pissed at me because his cat decided to sit on my lap instead of his. FML
Today, my husband staggered home after a night of drinking. He was too intoxicated to find the toilet so he started to pee in the cat's litter box. Apparently, he was invading her territory and she attacked him. His scream as she bit and scratched him must have woken the whole world. FML
Today, my cat jumped out a fourth-story window when I went to pet her. FML
Today, my husband scraped his shin while trying to pull down our window blinds. He screamed and shouted at me, because it was "all my fault." How? I opened the blinds the day before, and rolled them up "too high." I'm staying married despite all this toxicity. FML
Today, I was relaxing on the sofa with the cat purring on my lap. My husband blasted an air horn. I'm now covered in cat scratches and piss, from both myself and the cat. I'm going to skin him. FML
Today, my pregnancy hormones were so bad, I broke down crying because my cat sat on my husband's lap instead of mine. FML
Today, after an argument with my husband, I was sat in the front room calming down when the stupid cat decided she was going to jump up onto me, spilling a full coffee cup over my husband's PS5. He's convinced I did it on purpose after the argument, when it really was all the damn cat's fault FML
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Top comments
writerchic85 26
Throw your husband out the window to test the theory
i_wuz_nver_here 31
This is why cats hate us...
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Comments (115)
dirty_dan_ 15
Why not let him try?
quackImapenguin 16
Because the cat could get hurt! What is wrong with you? Yes, they have this adaptation that reduces the chances of injury, but that still doesn't justify putting the cat at risk. Even if you fall out a second story window and land on your feet you still might break a leg.
lolliaudry 13
Throw your husband out first. if he can land safely on all four, he can toss the cat out of the window!
thetoxicking 12
Tell him as a kid I threw a cat from about a one story height and (don't worry) it landed safely. I was a devil child, I know.
indigohippopo 20
I am with you OP, although my husband has sided with yours.. says that sounds like a great experiment ..(-.).. ugh men..
jenjen53 7
Is your husband 10 years old????
Peppersworth 6
I did that same thing........when I was six years old, if he still wants to do it as an adult he needs to grow up.
xxmirandapandaxx 14
Not that I condone this but there were studies done and after I think like 4 stories their ability to right themselves and terminal velocity something or other says they'll be fine. In other words 2 stories would actually be to short a drop.
xxmirandapandaxx 14
*Please don't throw your cat off of anything*
Bgreen94 12
you don't know unless you try
coler_27 11
It actually would so do it.
Le_ponderer 14
Gabrielle Solis pushed Carlos from the 1st floor bedroom and he survived. If your husband agrees to being pushed from the 2nd floor with his hands tied behind him and survives, then you can agree to let him throw a stuffed cat from your house. I should warn you though, Carlos became blind later... So, yeah.