Today, my husband is sulking because I wouldn't let him do what he's always wanted to do: throw our cat out the second floor window to see if she would land safely and on all fours. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I shut the door to the bedroom so my wife and I could have a serious talk. Unfortunately, the cat stuck his paw under the door and started flailing around, causing me to bust up laughing at a bad moment. My wife was furious, threw a water bottle at me, and locked me out overnight. FML
Today, I once again walked in on my husband eating our cat's food. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband eating cat food out of the cat bowl dressed in a cat costume. FML
Today, my boyfriend got irrationally pissed at me because his cat decided to sit on my lap instead of his. FML
Today, my husband staggered home after a night of drinking. He was too intoxicated to find the toilet so he started to pee in the cat's litter box. Apparently, he was invading her territory and she attacked him. His scream as she bit and scratched him must have woken the whole world. FML
Today, my cat jumped out a fourth-story window when I went to pet her. FML
Today, my husband scraped his shin while trying to pull down our window blinds. He screamed and shouted at me, because it was "all my fault." How? I opened the blinds the day before, and rolled them up "too high." I'm staying married despite all this toxicity. FML
Today, I was relaxing on the sofa with the cat purring on my lap. My husband blasted an air horn. I'm now covered in cat scratches and piss, from both myself and the cat. I'm going to skin him. FML
Today, my pregnancy hormones were so bad, I broke down crying because my cat sat on my husband's lap instead of mine. FML
Today, after an argument with my husband, I was sat in the front room calming down when the stupid cat decided she was going to jump up onto me, spilling a full coffee cup over my husband's PS5. He's convinced I did it on purpose after the argument, when it really was all the damn cat's fault FML
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Top comments
writerchic85 26
Throw your husband out the window to test the theory
i_wuz_nver_here 31
This is why cats hate us...
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Comments (115)
Enzymatically 14
he sounds like an idiot. anyone with half a brain knows that is animal abuse
CookieCat327 9
. . . I send best wishes to your cat.
zmuz 7
Wtf is wrong with people? Thank god you're sticking up for the poor cat
Caymokomoko 23
Although cats can survive their terminal velocity, the problem here is that the cat's reaction time is usually not quick enough for it to respond and land from two floors. 7 floors and up is its only chance of survival.
nutellacake 12
And you married him? Tell him you'll let him do it if you can throw him out of the window first. I hate people that abuse animals.
nerdyninjarobot 5
Your husband should take it from me. When I was a kid I threw my cat off a second story deck. She landed safe and sound on her paws but I had actual pieces of her claws stuck in my arm from her fight to not be thrown.
emmywadd96 10
when i was a little girl i had cats that i loved with all my heart and my older brother did that but down out steep stairs. i was about to smack him for that... i was in tears for hours... next day, my cats ran away and got hit by a car. im still mad about it and that was when i waz 6. i am now 19.