Today, my husband bought me a cinnamon roll because my blood sugar was dangerously low. My first bite was easily the most delicious thing I'd eaten since getting pregnant. As I sat in frosting coated ecstasy, my husband snatched up the rest of the pastry and finished it himself. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I'm 7 months pregnant and craving sweets, I helped myself to my MIL's birthday cake a little early. The family got so angry, they actually made me leave the party. My husband agreed with them. FML
Today, thanks to pregnancy hormones, I had the most vivid dream of eating a caramel apple mousse cake with vanilla bean ice cream. Unfortunately, yesterday, also thanks to pregnancy hormones, I was diagnosed with diabetes. My dreams are taunting me. FML
Today, I woke up early to bake cinnamon rolls for a party. I came home later to find the whole tray spilled onto the floor, most of the rolls eaten, and my dog sitting happily nearby. FML
Today, my boyfriend said he felt like eating icing. So I baked him cupcakes, put icing on them and decorated them. When I handed them to him, he picked off the decoration, licked the icing and handed the cupcake back to me, saying, "I told you that's all I wanted." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I had sex. Later, she said the highlight of her day was getting a cupcake from the grocery store. FML
Today, I found out that my wife is pregnant again. During her last two pregnancies, she craved pop-tarts and screamed bloody murder at the drop of a hat, so I went out and bought a box for her. Turns out that this time, pop-tarts make her want to puke. Cue screaming. FML
Today, my boyfriend bought my favorite doughnuts for our anniversary. After settling down and pouring a glass of wine, I grabbed a doughnut and quickly realized the filling inside wasn't jelly. He thought it would be funny to replace it with toothpaste. FML
Today, I ate some amazing homemade brownies that my best friend's wife made for us. She waited till I'd shoved a third one into my mouth before she mentioned she made them with breast milk. Knowing her, I don't even doubt it was true. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he stopped, got off, walked into the kitchen grabbed a doughnut, and came back to finish while he ate it. FML
Today, I went to the doctor, only to find out I can no longer eat chocolate, my favorite food. When I got home, my boyfriend took the chocolate cake I'd been eating from the fridge, sat down in front of me, and ate the whole thing without breaking eye contact. FML
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Top comments
ciarafox9 9
My mouth was watering reading this..
Mirorbo 27
....Must I point out the obvious? Your husband is a dick...
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Comments (237)
VeeEight 5
Shoulda kicked him in the nuts, I would have!
leearm104 4
Short of fending off a potential rapist that is never acceptable.
TBabe023 0
Frosting coated ecstasy.?
BitchesBeHatin 1
Jokes on him, that wasnt frosting on the cinnamon roll ;)
daydreamer244 13
yell at him to get u more, husbands always do what a screaming pregnant woman wants. ;)
cmars3 7
Not always, mine doesn't lol
evilteddybear 0
he probably cudnt help himself seeing you get all the good stuff
sciencekidster1 8
Dear husband, think of the baby...
ryankon518 3
A serious suggestion from an EMT. You may want to consider buying some oral glucose for emergencies like that. I know you can buy three tubes (each one is one dose) for like $10-15 on amazon
sandungyyy 4
A "I'll save you money" suggestin from an EMT as well: A simple teaspoon of honey or sugar will do. Save yourself a bundle of money instead of glucose gel, which I've heard taste nasty. And you should've punched your husband as soon as he took in that first bite. :)
meirasanya 10
Lucozade works pretty well too. My partner's diabetic and that's what he uses.
madsaboutyou 6
BD sugar tablets also work really well :) or fruit snacks! I make sure to carry some around with me all the time.
GarysMom725 10
You're getting rid of this slob.........when?
onthetoilet 3
Bazinga
lulututu 4
How is 85 an emt if he is 19?
sandungyyy 4
I'm 19 and EMT too. It doesn't take very long to become one, 16 weeks.