Today, my husband bought me a cinnamon roll because my blood sugar was dangerously low. My first bite was easily the most delicious thing I'd eaten since getting pregnant. As I sat in frosting coated ecstasy, my husband snatched up the rest of the pastry and finished it himself. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I'm 7 months pregnant and craving sweets, I helped myself to my MIL's birthday cake a little early. The family got so angry, they actually made me leave the party. My husband agreed with them. FML
Today, thanks to pregnancy hormones, I had the most vivid dream of eating a caramel apple mousse cake with vanilla bean ice cream. Unfortunately, yesterday, also thanks to pregnancy hormones, I was diagnosed with diabetes. My dreams are taunting me. FML
Today, I woke up early to bake cinnamon rolls for a party. I came home later to find the whole tray spilled onto the floor, most of the rolls eaten, and my dog sitting happily nearby. FML
Today, my boyfriend said he felt like eating icing. So I baked him cupcakes, put icing on them and decorated them. When I handed them to him, he picked off the decoration, licked the icing and handed the cupcake back to me, saying, "I told you that's all I wanted." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I had sex. Later, she said the highlight of her day was getting a cupcake from the grocery store. FML
Today, I found out that my wife is pregnant again. During her last two pregnancies, she craved pop-tarts and screamed bloody murder at the drop of a hat, so I went out and bought a box for her. Turns out that this time, pop-tarts make her want to puke. Cue screaming. FML
Today, my boyfriend bought my favorite doughnuts for our anniversary. After settling down and pouring a glass of wine, I grabbed a doughnut and quickly realized the filling inside wasn't jelly. He thought it would be funny to replace it with toothpaste. FML
Today, I ate some amazing homemade brownies that my best friend's wife made for us. She waited till I'd shoved a third one into my mouth before she mentioned she made them with breast milk. Knowing her, I don't even doubt it was true. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he stopped, got off, walked into the kitchen grabbed a doughnut, and came back to finish while he ate it. FML
Today, I went to the doctor, only to find out I can no longer eat chocolate, my favorite food. When I got home, my boyfriend took the chocolate cake I'd been eating from the fridge, sat down in front of me, and ate the whole thing without breaking eye contact. FML
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Top comments
ciarafox9 9
My mouth was watering reading this..
Mirorbo 27
....Must I point out the obvious? Your husband is a dick...
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Comments (237)
z3vil 11
It wasn't a romantic treat, she had dangerously low blood sugar. It was to stop her from passing out and possibly hurting herself and their baby
clemcool_fml 0
Does he take your pillows at night too?? That's what my asshole husband does and then acts like I'm selfish to want to, oh I don't know, be able to sleep at night. He could sleep through a hurricane but has to be up earlier than me (he works days, I work nights) so I'm supposed to suffer for the few dark hours I get so he can get 9 hours of solid sleep. Between the swelling, heartburn, and baby moving I might get an hour or 2 before the sun comes up and I find it impossible to sleep. Ughhh **** men.
REGGIEstration 4
Generalizing is always the best thing to do...you're obviously smart.
canada07 0
Omg i feel so bad! Was it cinnabon? Those r the best :)
xaviergroup 0
That's what you get for marrying a selfish fatty, should have chosen better.
swearmonkey 0
I know what you mean. I hate everybody asking if you are allowed to eat something
SxeDaze 13
FYL op . I guess the best things in life aren't free.
katiegurl19512 10
Lynch him :)
srm0608 0
i wud b really pissed if that was my husband and ecstasys sooo goood u just made me want ecstasy and a cinabun at the samme time
foregip 5
He'll make a great father!
Iriz 0
Shoot I would of sent my husband to go buy his own, I'm pregnant and my husband knows if I'm enjoyin something he better not touch my food becus I'll snap at him... lol