Today, my husband asked me if I was really pregnant or if I was just smuggling cheeseburgers. I'm now referred to as "the hamburgler." I'm only 5 months pregnant. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I am six months pregnant and have been lactating. When I noticed this and pointed it out to my husband, I jokingly stated that I felt like a cow. He then replied. "Oh, you're not a cow. At most you're just a fat pig." He still has no clue why I'm upset. FML
Today, my husband wants me to apologize for getting angry when his father told me I'm getting so fat that I look like a whale. I'm not fat, I'm just 8 months pregnant. FML
Today, I dragged my son along with me to a work party because I didn't want him home by himself. Halfway through, he stood up and made an announcement about my pregnancy. I had to explain to all my coworkers and my boss that I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat. FML
Today, I went in to get a sub sandwich. I asked the guy behind the counter if he could please put extra pickles on it. He looked at my stomach, and then put a huge handful of them on. I'm not pregnant, just fat. FML
Today, I am 20 weeks pregnant. My fiancé has decided my new nickname will be "Oink Oink". FML
Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. This brings me bad news and good news. The bad news, I'm a vegetarian. The good news, I finally know why I've been craving Big Macs for the last two weeks. FML
Today, my boyfriend is so ashamed of me that when someone asked how far along my pregnancy is, he quickly replied "5 months now!" instead of telling them I'm not actually pregnant. FML
Today, I'm a little over a month pregnant. My fiancé has decided that if we both act like I'm not pregnant, "the baby will get the hint and go away". FML
Today, I'm 8 months pregnant and still waitressing at a local restaurant. There were only 3 of us serving today and things were hectic. One guy bitched me out, saying "Maybe if you lost some weight you'd walk a little faster!" because I wasn't fast enough with his soup. FML
Today, I attended my husband's holiday brunch at a company I also used to work for. I was excited to see former coworkers until one raced up, grabbed my belly, and in front of a crowded room, exclaimed, "You're pregnant!" Nope, just older and a bit fatter. FML
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Top comments
TheRealBrianGrif 7
Then will the baby be a slider?
jackassiddy 8
Next time you see him in his underwear ask him if he is really cold or is he just smuggling tic-tacs.. Nickname him pea shooter..
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Comments (165)
freakwalking 0
Next time his little brain thinks of calling you such harsh words remind him that your carrying his child. And that when his able to shot something the size of a watermelon out of his pea rod than he may speak; until than he needs to stfu and run all over the state for whatever craving you have.
havocmike 3
Be less fat. Its a myth that you have to gain more than twenty pounds during pregnancy.
JFrenchy 0
Haha it's kind of funny :) I think your husband means well. However, if you ignore when he makes comments like that he will either stop or do it more to annoy you. Either way, pregnancy hormones are nothing to mess with. Grab a skillet and pop him in the head and maybe itll knock some sense into him! ;)
swinglifeaway123 8
I moderated this :)
brownberry_fml 0
How does that suck??!! That's hilarious!!! Fun stuff
andtay 0
Anybody watch the show Trailer Park Boys? I personally think he was quoting that show when they make fun of the pregnant looking fat man on the show.. What he said is basically word for word what they said.
poseidon1 3
it is a complement... i think.
Susieee_Q 9
Okay, there's a big difference between some asshole calling a pregnant woman a "fat-cow" and your spouse coming up with a stupid name while you're pregnant like "hamburglar." I wasn't trying to belittle the issue, and I'm sorry so many people seem to disagree with me. I acknowledged that she might have responded to it differently than someone else would. To me, I guess it all depends on how he said it. The way I imagined this scenario was her husband coming up to her, maybe while she was sitting down, kissing her cheek then rubbing her growing tummy and saying something along the lines of "Are you sure you're not just smuggling hamburgers, my little hamburglar?" Is it still something stupid to say to a pregnant woman? Yes, most likely. But is it possible he didn't have the intention to hurt her? I would say so. Maybe you're right, though. Maybe he was actually mean about it, and I'm wrong for assuming that that's how it really happened. It's just how it played out in my head at first. I apologize for my assuming, though. FML's can be very vague and we all interpret them differently....
DrMaverickRanger 4
I reckon pregnancy cravings are bullshit, and because pregnant women generally feel sorry for themselves, and because they are expected to have cravings, they milk the situation... Be warned OP - if you pack on a lot of weight while pregnant you will have to lose it after baba is born (you will only lose 3-4kg from baby, about 2 kg from placenta and products and fluid, and another 2 or so kg from water weight, and everything else stays :( Also, you don't want a heavy kid, as there are a whole lot of associated risks of being a large for dates babe. Good luck though, and enjoy the pregnancy, it is a very happy and special time :)
porkokorko 2
I gained 70 lbs when pregnant and easily returned to my original 120 lbs post-pregnancy. Eat healthy but don't worry about how much weight you gain. You're creating a human being for God's sake, it takes a lot of energy to do that.