Today, I was volunteering at a nursing home. As a volunteer, I'm not supposed to accept any money or gifts from any of the residents. However, one elderly woman kept insisting I take her gold watch. After politely refusing for the fifth time, she decided to chuck it at my face. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was working my shift at our local nursing home. I was assisting a "sweet", "innocent" 100-year-old lady, and she had a bunch of used tissues balled up in her lap, so I offered to dispose of them in the waste-basket. She told me that if I touched them, she would kill everything I love. FML
Today, at work, an elderly lady came up to the cash register with a flyer in her hand, and asked if we had a certain item. I told her we did not have any left, and we would be getting more next week and if she wanted, I could give her a rain check. She hit me in the face with her purse. FML
Today, I helped a very large elderly man, who thanked me and tried to hand me a dollar bill. I kindly told him, "We are not allowed to accept tips from customers." His reply was, "You're going to take this fucking money," and shoved it in my pocket. I'm now being written up for it. FML
Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went over and helped her up. Instead of thanking me, she called me a pervert and slapped me around with her cane. FML
Today, while volunteering at a local museum, I politely told an elderly gentleman to have a nice day. He responded by yelling "NO" and storming off. Everyone looked at me like I was some sort of monster. FML
Today, I saw an elderly woman struggling to reach the top shelf in my local grocery store, so I went over and asked if she needed help. She then accused me of flirting with her and had me escorted from the property. FML
Today, I was working at a retirement center, when an old woman came to me and asked if I would like her old clothes. I politely said, "I'm sorry, but I'm a guy." She then said, "You could have just said no, instead of rudely lying to me." FML
Today, my elderly neighbor had asked me to take her to her early morning doctor's appointment. I arrived at her house at 7:30 as agreed, and she appeared to have forgotten who I was. She started lobbing eggs out of her window at me, telling me she wasn't interested in what I was selling. FML
Today, I was walking on the street when a woman in front of me dropped a couple of dollars. I picked them up and chased her to return it all. She insisted that it wasn't hers. I tried to tell her it was, but she wouldn't accept it. A cop saw me and arrested me for solicitation. FML
Today, while working at a cell phone store, I helped an older woman learn how to use her newly updated phone. After trying to help her for over 20 minutes, she threatened to throw her phone at my head. FML
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Top comments
xesyeso 0
LOL! sorry that was my grandma.
pm_rod 0
was this your first Golden Shower?
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Comments (92)
xesyeso 0
LOL! sorry that was my grandma.
lexielovesyou 0
what a lovely lady [:
WallyTheWombat 0
You need to keep your grandma on a leash.
allen2020 0
now you have grills(;
bummervacation 10
My mom works in the same job field. It's hard, I know. Just hang in there, OP. Volunteering, I'm sure, has its ups too. :D
Cupcakeshizz 0
anger issues :D but maybe the watch held a secret message :O
lock80 0
that gold watch should pay off ur hospital bill lol
pooponyuou 0
oh old people...it's great to know we'll one day be just like that...
Helbo 0
How come all the girls look like hookers and all the guys look like douche bags on this site?
ThinIce 0
Hey, at least you got a gold watch. Worth it.
FFML_314 12
51, I prefer prostitute! OK?
wisericky 12
i beleave the proper term is an escort.
redoxy_fml 0
lol! you're allowed to accept donations just not gifts for community service :)
Trollz4daLULZ 2
I look like neither. I look like a giraffe. YOU look like a silhouette, #51.
ChelseaXD 0
51-- I am nothing close to a hooker.. shut up. Op- atleast you have a watch now.. :D
Izzy_babii 0
Rofl xD poor granny maybe she stole that watch from one of those mean nursing home workers ad needed to get rid if the evidence
MarkSeattle 0
lol. just tell them you'll take it when they're dead if they keep insisting.
brenduh911 0
ROFLMAO!! @ 62
chopra 0
well at least you can keep the watch, quit
quent10 0
53 what's your number lol O_O (JOKE!)
porter12 0
51 why are you talking I don't even see a pic for you. quit talking or stay off fml
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
I'm a Happy Hooker. Crochet FTMFW. :D
ChelseaXD 0
agreed 73!
black_knight402 0
73 your one of the crappy kids at schools that don't get any attention aren't you?
JManHobbs 0
rofl at the douchebags and hookers getting riled at 51. Well played sir, well played.
Mattsta123 5
take it and run
pm_rod 0
was this your first Golden Shower?
bummervacation 10
lmfao! EPIC WIN #2
breenarae25 0
ITS RAINING GOLD!!!!!
knibbsy 4
Don't change her Depends for 2 weeks. That'll teach her.
ruby84 1
one day you'll be an old, wrinkly man with loose bladder- let's see if you'll think diapers are funny then
knibbsy 4
I will - I'll drop trow and defecate on the floor, then make jokes about the times I spent at Hershey Park when I was young.
imlagginglol 0
epic comeback
poopmonster05 3
so did you take it after that?
FFML_314 12
Honestly, YDI for not walking away from her. If a resident is bothering you, harassing you or anything else that borderlines inappropriate, you walk away. You don't allow them to keep pestering you. You can give the nurse a call and inform her that someone is being a bit out of line. Sheesh, if you work in a nursing home, you should know how to handle this kind of situation.
lexielovesyou 0
i didn't even read all of it, buut ive noticed youur comments are quite interestingg...
6sick6 4
i don't like him, because I envision that he looks just like his display picture.. sorry dude
Chrisskiies 0
^ lol, not this one it's quite boring, Mostly because she's in the same line of work.
FFML_314 12
1. I'm a her 2. That is me in my display picture, duh! 3. I'm not a due 4. Your username made me sound like a stuttering stanley!
xesyeso 0
nice picture..... wtf.... am i right or am i right?
FFML_314 12
*dude
knibbsy 4
It took me 6 seconds to read your comment FFML. I love all the people that say "I didn't bother to read your comment cause it's too long" when in reality it would take no more than 10 seconds to read said comment. Are people that retarded and lazy that they can't spend a quarter of a minute reading a comment?
xesyeso 0
stuttering stanely.... haaaaa i love this guy
knibbsy 4
I was referring to comment #8 FYI.
Chrisskiies 0
Retarded? hmm slight possibility, stupid? More than likely. Lazy, 90% of the time. Illiterate? Mos def for more than half the users on here. Does that answer your question Knibbsy?
knibbsy 4
Sort of. Everything was fine until you brought Mos Def into it. Now I'm confused and slightly angry for some odd reason.
FFML_314 12
20, you fail for not reading #1. I'm not a guy. I've been on this website for months, change my picture once and boom, everyone thinks I'm a dude. Well, I guess this won't be the last time this happens.
Chrisskiies 0
I meant most definatly, I was just lazy to spellbit out. Mos Def is bad ass tho, don't get me wrong.
xesyeso 0
oh woops my bad. well the biebs can confuse anyone with his/her gender regardless
knibbsy 4
Say what you want, you'll be a part of the Italian job soon if you keep up this Mos Def business.
Chrisskiies 0
No that's too far. Lol. I keep the jobs local, easier to hide, and already know the location. But seriously he's a "sick-ass" poet and rapper.
WallyTheWombat 0
Everyone in this string of replies now owes me one cookie. I thank you in advance.
Chrisskiies 0
By saying that, you owe me 13. I only accept chips ahoy.
WallyTheWombat 0
I owe you 13 what? *hands you 13 pizza slices*?
Chrisskiies 0
Cookies, obvious by what I stated earlier saying I only accept chips ahoy. Oh and everytime you say someone owes you cookies, you owe me 13 more.
WallyTheWombat 0
Give me my pizza back then. Do already half-digested cookies count?
brenduh911 0
I WANT THE PIZZAS!!! :D
soonersbaby21 0
everybody on this thread made my day. so for that unlimited chips ahoy and pizza for everyone! tiny print:(only valid where permitted, 10 maximum per person per day, only available in all 50 states, other exclusions may apply)
mitchie11 0
F your life, OP? More like F this moment of time. She threw a golden watch at you for not accepting the gift. Take the watch and pawn it, imo. Problem solved.
chiya 0
lol.She hated either the watch or you. :o
BikerMike 0
file an assault charge on the dried up old ****
Toiga 0
You should sell the watch and use the money to pick up a hobby instead of waisting your time helping old people.
DaveTheBrave20 0
CRAY OLD BITCH