Today, my husband actually was cleaning our bathrooms. I had to pee and the floor was wet in my upstairs bathroom. My wonderful husband told me to go downstairs. I did and sat on the toilet seat which felt wet. He forgot he had sprayed it with Tilex. Chemical burns on your butt are great. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was stuck in the bathroom with no toilet paper in a family member’s house. I looked around and found baby wipes. I was saved! Unfortunately, they were actually Clorox wipes. The bleach gave me a chemical burn in my ass. FML
Today, while helping my wife clean the bathroom, I stepped in a puddle of neat bleach she'd randomly left by the shower door. I washed it off straight away but now an hour later I have burns on the bottom of my foot and can’t put weight on it. FML
Today, after a particularly nasty shit, I decided to do one extra pass with a diaper wipe. What I didn't realize was that my wife had refilled the normal container with a pack of Clorox wipes by mistake. My asshole has never burned so fiercely in my 30+ years of life as it did in those following moments. FML
Today, I cleaned my bathroom from top to bottom. Tonight, my husband threw up all over the bathroom. He actually cleaned it up himself, including the toilet. I went to use the toilet, put down the seat and sat down. Guess which part of the toilet he DIDN'T clean. FML
Today, my husband ran a nice warm bubble bath with extra bubbles. I undressed and slid down into the tub only to have the most ungodly pain go up my backside. Turns out he knocked his razor into the water when he added the bubbles. I now have two butt cracks. FML
Today, I was using a mall bathroom. Thinking the toilet seat had to be unsanitary, I decided to squat. I was a little farther out than I thought, and ended up peeing all over the bathroom floor. FML
Today, the weather was so hot that I couldn't stop sweating profusely while using the restroom. Ever slipped off the toilet seat and hit the floor hard due to ass-sweat? Not a pleasant experience. FML
Today, my boyfriend walked out of the bathroom, informed me he'd accidentally peed on the floor, and told me I could clean it up when I get a chance. FML
Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me because he loves toilets. Everyone was sleeping so I went pee but didnt flush. My cat jumped onto the seat and fell in. I had to lift him out and then wash him. He hates water though, so I was scratched by my cat who was dripping with my own pee. FML
Today, I was taking a relaxing soak in the tub with my essential oils, when my husband walked in and proceeded to take the most foul-smelling dump ever. The toilet is right next to the bathtub, so my essential oils didn’t stand a chance. Besides that, our house has four other bathrooms. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
kikiface 1
fyl, but you're lucky to have a husband that helps around the house
thoughtcrimeno1 0
did you know that in soviet Russia toilet flushes you?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (67)
Cupffin 0
YDI. You should squat, in your house or not.
babybubz 0
uhmm.. why?
eat_this_buddie 5
your picture is amazing!!
brownlace 0
so sex for him. that rere
Stueyy 0
check first, tit. Now back to the kitchen
amazingjane 0
stil think ur hubby is awesome for cleaning. absentminded....but awesome
boatkicker 5
He told her to use that bathroom. They're BOTH absent minded. But then again, how often do you actually look at the toilet seat before sitting? I know I don't.
jts924 0
lol so you fail basic observational skills too? sooo sad....
youthink_fml 0
1. I don't get people that sit down without looking to see what they're sitting on. 2. I'm sure it felt wet when you first sat down. You had to sit in it an awful long time to get to chemical burns. People get that stuff on their hands all the time when cleaning without getting burns. This is more your fault than your husband's. YDI.
letmeinplease 0
^ this ^ OP seems to have major issues with her husband- notice all the bitching and sarcasm? He forgot to mention it! You failed basic observational skills. Surely the routine with ANY shared bathroom, private or public, is enter, check door locks, check loo roll, check seat and floor for drips? It takes about 2 seconds. YDI for being a whiny cow.
boatkicker 5
For me it's more like "Check that seat is down." The end. Door locks? Shouldn't a closed door be enough of a deterrent? Although I suppose if you keep the door closed all the time you wouldn't be able to tell that someone's in there. But even still, he KNOWs she's in the bathroom. He's not just going to randomly barge in the clean the toilet, if he knows she's peeing. Check seat for drips? Husband is a man. Men generally pee with the seat up, making it much harder to drip on it.
jts924 0
if you have a guy in the house wouldn't u generally check the seat so you sit in piss? fail^^^
letmeinplease 0
I was talking general toilet procedures, mostly aimed at public toilets. Nothing so revolting as a stranger's piss.
purplemnm 9
-cue Martha Stewart accent- diluted vinegar is delightful when you add a touch of scent oil of your choice.
McCannCanTriple 0
Do most people touch the toilet see before they sit down? That would be the only way to see something like that.
lostfaithinpppl 19
Don't you look before sitting down??? YDI
xxXChiiXxx 2
I don't know ANYONE who looks before they sit, other than to check that the seat is up. She doesn't deserve this. *rolls eyes*
ohSNAPyall 27
I check. What if the person before me sprinkled when they tinkled?
boatkicker 5
If ts just her and her husband, that's pretty unlikely. He probably puts the seat up, so she has no reason to look.
ohSNAPyall 27
Maybe they have friends.
ohSNAPyall 27
"Actually cleaning the bathrooms"? Why would it be going above and beyond for him (but assumedly not for his wife)? They live there together; why shouldn't they share the chores?
twat_waffle15 0
Wtf?? Why would Tilex burn ur ass? Dude, I sit on Clorox all the time accidently when I come home from school, go upstairs, and use my bathroom that my mom cleaned while I was gone for the day. OP's lucky to have a guy like that, and I guess I'm lucky my mom cleans my toilet and shower and empties my trash for me. But like I said, I sit on Clorox accidently and nothing even happened. No chemical burns. And can Tilex, which might even be less strong than Clorox, create chemical burns? Didn't you sit right back up when you felt it was wet? How strong IS that shit, anyway? Damn...chemical burns...I don't think it's EVER happened to me before. So yeah, fyl.