Today, the mosquito infestation is so bad that multiple mosquitoes sucked the blood out of the steak I was grilling and promptly died on top of it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got a mosquito bite under each armpit. FML
Today, I got a mosquito bite inside my cast. FML
Today, I smacked a big mosquito that had landed on my leg. My boyfriend then said to me, "I wonder if their mouth snaps off when you slap them, and now it’s stuck in your skin." Thanks. Thanks a lot. FML
Today, it's the third day that I can't sleep. Somewhere in my room, there's a mosquito craving for my blood, and every time I'm about to fall asleep, I can hear it flying around. I'm covered in bites, even in places that barely see the daylight. FML
Today, while I was eating, a fly kept pissing me off. After three minutes of it buzzing around, I caught it and killed it. Then, without realizing it, I smeared its guts all over the front of my shirt. FML
Today, I'm on a camping trip, and despite the lovely weather, I'm wearing long clothing so the mosquitoes can’t sting me. Unfortunately, nobody seems to have told THEM that. FML
Today, as I was walking out of a park, I bent to examine a mosquito bite I had. As I looked up, I noticed a nearby couple staring and whispering in abject horror before calling their kids over to get bug-sprayed, pointing me out. Terrified, they immediately complied. It’s not even my worst bite. FML
Today, it was an unusually warm day after many weeks of typical subfreezing temperatures, so my family and I went for a walk in the park. We all came back with mosquito bites. FML
Today, I was taking a piss, when a mosquito came out of nowhere and headed straight for my dick. In my startled attempt to ward it away, I pissed all over everything, including myself. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having dinner with my family. He killed a bug and ate it. FML
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Top comments
eagleriverjohn 24
Have you tried investing in citronella or deet?
RichardPencil 32
DEET yer meat! Sure, it renders your steak foul-tasting and poisonous, but the t-shirts and bumper stickers with the slogan are hilarious!
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Comments (17)
eagleriverjohn 24
Have you tried investing in citronella or deet?
RichardPencil 32
DEET yer meat! Sure, it renders your steak foul-tasting and poisonous, but the t-shirts and bumper stickers with the slogan are hilarious!
gobiteme2 34
Are you sure it wasn't due to the way you were grilling.
joonsson 21
There's no blood in steak, unless you're buying some really weird and shorty cuts. Still sucks though.
Nova Solarius 10
Insects probably don't have the ability to figure that out quite as easily as we can. Might have to do with them being insects, not primates or other animals with similar levels of intelligence.
Xatraris 38
I was going to post the same thing but didn't because it would get down voted anyway. It's myoglobin. If it were blood your steak would have a lot of black goo all over it due to the blood coagulation. As someone previously said, it could be the way they grilled the steak, not sucking the blood out.
davecross 11
Gordon Ramsey's: what's that crunchy taste on the stake? You: mosquitoes Gordon Ramsey's: are you f@&king mental!!!
Lobby_Bee 18
Stop feeding your mosquitoes! That's why you have the infestation in the first place.
TheBigSneeze 22
Thats not how it works, thats not how any of this works! But seriously, mosquitoes are around wherever there's still water so if you can, dump out any buckets of water or tings that have water in them and see if that helps stem the problem. If the problem is a nearby lake, ask about draining it. If the problem is big enough, wherever you live might just drain the lake.
ZellaMorann 11
this is so disturbing
Levvy 22
Still sucks to have bugs landing on it (no pun intended), but there's no blood in steak. The reddish liquid is myogloboin, water, and various organic pigments.
1gullible_bugger 34
Is only the females that bite. Net hope that the new genetically modified mosquitoes get released in your town to kill the females..
Matthew Layfield 4
Extra protein for you!