Today, I was taking a relaxing soak in the tub with my essential oils, when my husband walked in and proceeded to take the most foul-smelling dump ever. The toilet is right next to the bathtub, so my essential oils didn’t stand a chance. Besides that, our house has four other bathrooms. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was relaxing in the bath with oils and candles and a new book when my husband burst in with diarrhoea, filled the toilet, polluted the air, and knocked my new book into the bathwater. Then, while washing his hands, he asked if I wanted an oil covered shag. Romantic, right? FML
Today, I wanted to take a romantic bath with my boyfriend. I set up the candles and hot water, but I had to take a dump. After my business was done, I called him into the bath. He walks in, sniffs, glances at the toilet and leaves. Guess what I forgot to flush. FML
Today, I walked in the bathroom and smelled a disgusting cheesy smell. I looked at the tub and my boyfriend was furiously scrubbing under his toenails with a nail brush. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
Today, I popped into the shower hoping to come out all warm and clean. Something was very wrong with the pipes, and I came out smelling like sewage instead. FML
Today, my husband left our bedroom to go turn the thermostat down in the hall. I let out the smelliest fart, so bad that I had to blame it on our baby. He laughed and said, "I leave for one second and come back and it smells like a sewer in here." FML
Today, my husband actually was cleaning our bathrooms. I had to pee and the floor was wet in my upstairs bathroom. My wonderful husband told me to go downstairs. I did and sat on the toilet seat which felt wet. He forgot he had sprayed it with Tilex. Chemical burns on your butt are great. FML
Today, my wife complained that the shower was draining slowly, so I took the drain cover off and snaked the drain. I pulled out a giant blob of reeking, stinking, rotten filth. My wife saw it and screamed. Now she insists she can still smell it on my hands and won't let me near her. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML
Today, my girlfriend offered to wash the bathroom while I was at work. I came back home to find her feeling unwell with a bad headache. She had mixed drain cleaner with bleach because she thought it would make the bathroom cleaner. Now my entire house is a mini gas chamber. FML
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Top comments
lexxiasaurus 31
that was full on war crime and tactically played out 🤣
Iamthebanzai22 21
That sounds incredibly disrespectful and inconsiderate. Ask yourself: Would he have done that if you were still dating and if he just wanted to make you happy and if he wanted nothing more in the world than your admiration?
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Comments (7)
lexxiasaurus 31
that was full on war crime and tactically played out 🤣
RichardPencil 32
They were "essentially" useless? Sounds like you're about as good at picking bath products as you are at picking husbands.
Thaylok 17
He was just obeying me Men Commandments. and no doubt he will laugh at that one for years.
Iamthebanzai22 21
That sounds incredibly disrespectful and inconsiderate. Ask yourself: Would he have done that if you were still dating and if he just wanted to make you happy and if he wanted nothing more in the world than your admiration?
D J's MOM 17
what a dick move. he should be in the dog house for a while
Taurus_ChicKa 37
I'm still going over the fact that OP lives in a house with FIVE bathrooms. If you've got that kind of money, a little foul-smelling poop is a small price to pay. And if the house is that big/nice, don't tell me the doors don't have locks on them.
FluffythePink 23
If my other half did that to me, they'd never find the ******* body. You understand that he very deliberately decided to shit on your personal care time with absolute contempt?