Today, I was feeling really stressed so I bought some nice stress relieving lotion. When I got home, I took it out of the bag and accidentally dropped it (not realizing it was made of glass). The bottle shattered into pieces and I even cut my finger on one piece. So much for relieving stress. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I accidentally broke a vase. When I was clearing it up, I used my bare hand to sweep up the shards without thinking. I'm still fishing pieces of broken glass out of my hand. FML
Today, while washing dishes for my friend, I managed to break an unbreakable glass and slice my hand open on it. FML
Today, I dropped some glass at my job while putting it on the shelf. A shard bounced off the floor and went up my nose. FML
Today, I fell down the stairs while holding some dirty glasses from my room. I ended up pulling pieces of glass from my body. Meanwhile all my mom cares about is the fact that I broke three of her favorite glasses. FML
Today, I reached for my lip balm while laying in bed in the dark. I accidentally knocked my bedside lamp, and it fell on my hand and shattered. A huge glass fragment impaled my hand. I just got out of surgery. FML
Today, as a stressed NHS nurse, I tried to take a relaxing bath, except I dropped my book in the water, my candle set my hair on fire, I slipped getting out and may have broken my finger. The noise woke up my two kids, so I had to start their bedtime routine over again, and I got bath salt crystals in my eye. FML
Today, my mom bumped into a table with a glass vase on it. Seeing that the vase was about to fall, I lunged to catch it. Before I got there, the vase fell and shattered, resulting in me diving into the broken shards. FML
Today, in order to have a nice relaxing bubble bath, I lit candles, played soothing music, and poured myself a glass of wine. Just as I was about to get in, I slipped on a patch of wet floor, dumped the wine on myself, and fell backward into the tub… that didn't have any water in it. Now I’m soaked in wine and bruised. FML
Today, I was reaching for something in the back of the refrigerator. The bottle of hot sauce that was in front of it fell and broke. Not only did the glass cut my feet up, but the hot sauce got in the fresh wounds. FML
Today, I was taking a shower and the glass sliding door was jammed. I tugged it, and it shattered all over me. I was naked. FML
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Top comments
Domonator 16
It rubs the lotion on its skin.
xkonstantine125x 7
Eucalyptus Spearmint from Bath and Body Works is amazing stress release stuff. Just sayin'. Sometimes when I'm stressed I'll have a drink and it helps. But drugs and getting shit faced? I'll pass on that.
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Comments (75)
fatfatgoeshome 8
Nice job, butterfingers!
doink 0
I think she is using it wrong.
daftpunk_fml 0
if you had bought it from the store wouldn't you know what it was made of. you can really mix it up with plastic either cuz glass is heavier..I say fail and fake you shouldve known
apfunction 0
this reminds me of family guy. "the cause of the fire was these stress-relieving candles. irony!"
GeorgeBoosh 0
My stress relieving lotion is a bottle of Jack Daniels. It's in a glass bottle. I tend to get butter fingers after de-stressing too.
01sparkly 15
I had some kind of lotion like that (stress relief) and I was allergic to it -_- (sensitive skin)
meepmerp 20
Why don't you post an FML?
kikiface 1
that stuff doesn't work anyway, you did yourself a favor
lickmyjock 0
actually it does. Once I jerked off with that stuff and it was like bomb diggity the least stressful busting of my nuts EVER.
garrettjordan 0
I don't know what kiki and snickerdoodles are talking about it works really well depends if you get a shitty kind or not
lickmyjock 0
Well they're 16... don't exactly have money. They still gotta save up their allowances to go to the mall.
kikiface 1
it's just a placebo effect..."oh this stuff says it will calm me down, let's use some, oh i feel so calm now!"
kikiface 1
or just light a candle and burn some incense and listen to music. works for me
chikiitaaa 0
So I'm guessing you are a loser with no life, and resort to being annoying by correcting everyone because you are perfect? hmmm...
andruha1123 5
u girls is hut...;)
Pearljammer001 0
snick, sometimes, with your relentless grilling of innocent (usually) commentators, you can be quite an annoying "little girl".
PedoBearSaysYES 0
um....ur your young but u ain't lil I'd know best ;E
pleasenopuffin 0
Agreed. She's probably that girl that always has to correct other students in class because "she's so smart." I bet her teachers hate her.
gohabs21 0
dickersnoodle has a penis...???
UrNotFunny 0
you didn't use it correctly
lickmyjock 0
I know you would miss me snickerdoodles... i'd miss ya too. you and your smiley avatar. It brightens up my mornings.
lickmyjock 0
um, you mentioned me first, so I had to respond.
Pearljammer001 0
for once snick wins! @28
bidoof_fml 0
Just drink some alcohol like a normal person.
Heartbreakher 0
I hate when people turn to alcohol or drugs to "relieve" stress.
bidoof_fml 0
sXe people are so enlightened.
kikiface 1
people like #10 are the ones who need their stress relieved the most, they're so uptight
FerrariCake 2
marijuana relieves hatred...
MndM 0
you comment on everything don't you?
necrofukker 0
shit a bottle of MD20/20 is cheaper than all that crap and probably works better too
xkonstantine125x 7
Eucalyptus Spearmint from Bath and Body Works is amazing stress release stuff. Just sayin'. Sometimes when I'm stressed I'll have a drink and it helps. But drugs and getting shit faced? I'll pass on that.
Heartbreakher 0
couldn't agree more.
bidoof_fml 0
Where did this whole idea of getting shit faced come from?
purplecowchik 5
I am the OP and that is exactly what it was. and lol to all the comments. btw the bottle was around $12. not expensive
purplecowchik 5
o and I knew it was glass. just wanted to make the fml sound better
tiger8255 13
#71, 72 I highly doubt you're the OP.
Puffpie 24
Wouldn't you rather relax at home instead of going out of your way to drink at a bar?
laur3nmae 0
ydi for buying "stress relieving lotion"
lickmyjock 0
Your best option is sex. Best stress reliever out on the market. And guess what? It's usually free.
R1xStunna 0
till you get married and have kids, then a mistress and she finds out then a lawyer who becomes you kids step mom then it's not free you actually get paid for it
chikiitaaa 0
agreed
ChicaChica5683 0
I've nvr seen lotion in a glass bottle
ick_fml 5
I know, right? who puts lotion in a glass bottle?
PedoBearSaysYES 0
remove all shards of glass remove all clothing invite hot female friends remove their clothes w teeth roll in lotion stress removed :D oh and have a Cam record it all P;
ThaggleS 0
Your profile picture made me chuckle.