Today, my husband actually was cleaning our bathrooms. I had to pee and the floor was wet in my upstairs bathroom. My wonderful husband told me to go downstairs. I did and sat on the toilet seat which felt wet. He forgot he had sprayed it with Tilex. Chemical burns on your butt are great. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was stuck in the bathroom with no toilet paper in a family member’s house. I looked around and found baby wipes. I was saved! Unfortunately, they were actually Clorox wipes. The bleach gave me a chemical burn in my ass. FML
Today, while helping my wife clean the bathroom, I stepped in a puddle of neat bleach she'd randomly left by the shower door. I washed it off straight away but now an hour later I have burns on the bottom of my foot and can’t put weight on it. FML
Today, after a particularly nasty shit, I decided to do one extra pass with a diaper wipe. What I didn't realize was that my wife had refilled the normal container with a pack of Clorox wipes by mistake. My asshole has never burned so fiercely in my 30+ years of life as it did in those following moments. FML
Today, I cleaned my bathroom from top to bottom. Tonight, my husband threw up all over the bathroom. He actually cleaned it up himself, including the toilet. I went to use the toilet, put down the seat and sat down. Guess which part of the toilet he DIDN'T clean. FML
Today, my husband ran a nice warm bubble bath with extra bubbles. I undressed and slid down into the tub only to have the most ungodly pain go up my backside. Turns out he knocked his razor into the water when he added the bubbles. I now have two butt cracks. FML
Today, I was using a mall bathroom. Thinking the toilet seat had to be unsanitary, I decided to squat. I was a little farther out than I thought, and ended up peeing all over the bathroom floor. FML
Today, the weather was so hot that I couldn't stop sweating profusely while using the restroom. Ever slipped off the toilet seat and hit the floor hard due to ass-sweat? Not a pleasant experience. FML
Today, my boyfriend walked out of the bathroom, informed me he'd accidentally peed on the floor, and told me I could clean it up when I get a chance. FML
Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me because he loves toilets. Everyone was sleeping so I went pee but didnt flush. My cat jumped onto the seat and fell in. I had to lift him out and then wash him. He hates water though, so I was scratched by my cat who was dripping with my own pee. FML
Today, I was taking a relaxing soak in the tub with my essential oils, when my husband walked in and proceeded to take the most foul-smelling dump ever. The toilet is right next to the bathtub, so my essential oils didn’t stand a chance. Besides that, our house has four other bathrooms. FML
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Top comments
kikiface 1
fyl, but you're lucky to have a husband that helps around the house
thoughtcrimeno1 0
did you know that in soviet Russia toilet flushes you?
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Comments (67)
fatfatgoeshome 8
Shit, that sucks! :(
SelfGenocide 0
this is why woman clean and not men.
ohSNAPyall 27
As if you knew anything about women. Twerp.
imsochill 0
Today, I thought it would be nice to clean the bathrooms. When my wife came home she said she had to go to the bathroom. I told her to go to the bathroom downstairs which I forgot I sprayed with Tilex. FML
mariahrawks 0
46 - heck no. when I get married, my husband's gonna clean. Either that, or a maid. I can't clean!):
HeyHeyFishFillet 34
How do you not know how to clean? Is grabbing paper towl and Windex and wiping left to right that difficult?
ekid2k 0
You should have done the cleaning yourself.
lickmyjock 0
waaaaaaaaaah waaaaaaaaah waaaaaaaaaah waaaaaaaaah waaaaaaaaaah waaaaaaaaah waaaaaaaaaah waaaaaaaaah waaaaaaaaaah waaaaaaaaah waaaaaaaaaah waaaaaaaaah waaaaaaaaaah waaaaaaaaah
garrettjordan 0
ouch that must of hurt real bad
Hanban 0
I dunno why I'm putting my comment here... :P Is Tilex muriatic acid?
bidoof_fml 0
You could have just said, "Oh shut up, LJM" : |
bidoof_fml 0
Except that long winded explanation looks twice as stupid.
Pearljammer001 0
beast mode I can finally reply to comments on my touch!
Hanban 0
Why yes Snickerdoodles, you got my innermost thoughts correctly! :D And I'm still replying here because I'm way too unpopular to get my own space. How's that for insecurity?
Pearljammer001 0
haha me too....
Felendris 0
snickerdoodles, just stfu. ok? he meant that he didn't know why he was posting here instead of on #1s comment. don't go hatin before you think.
Ultimate_Cynic 0
@#16: Beast mode, eh? Maximal or Predacon? @#'s 18 & 45: You just fell for the trap.
thoughtcrimeno1 0
did you know that in soviet Russia toilet flushes you?
Pearljammer001 0
#3 LMAO "the toilet flushes you!"
alexjoseph5575 18
Yes, thank you for restating the comment directly above you 22.
kikiface 1
fyl, but you're lucky to have a husband that helps around the house
maskedman 9
Am I the only one that got turned on when she said, "chemical burns on the butt"?
I_am_that_guy 0
nope her husband did 2
maskedman 9
I forgot about that sick, sadistic bastard.
I_am_that_guy 0
just like he "forgot" he sprayed it with tilex
twat_waffle15 0
Yes. Yes, you are.
FerrariCake 2
That's what happens when you send a man to do a woman's work.
mmastermetallica 0
ydi for not buying non cemical based cleaning productsss. method (it's a brand) ftw
lettertjes 0
Even when you use a chemical toilet cleaner, it normally does not cause burns when you get it on your skin. OP's husband must have used some industrial cleaner that would probably be illegal to use in a private home.
BongBlaster420 0
technically all cleaning products are chemical. there only safe of not depending on how much there diluted. stoooopid snickerdoodles
I_am_that_guy 0
that's called herpes
Brian01 0
Don't let men clean the bathroom
babelini 12
I dont get it. Why cant u use the wet bathroom upstairs? By wet do u mean ur husband is cleaning it or its just plain wet?