Today, my grandpa took my face in both hands, kissed me on the lips, said "Now you can tell all your friends you've had your first kiss," and walked out of the room. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my grandmother introduced me to her friends as her 16-year-old granddaughter "who has never been kissed." FML
Today, my grandpa took the family out for dinner and paid for everyone. He paid the bill and my family and I were waiting by the door. I realised I probably should thank him for dinner. I turned around without thinking and give him a big hug, and said, "Thanks for dinner Grandpa." It wasn't my grandpa. FML
Today, while I was doing my hair, my grandpa walked in, dropped his pants, and started taking a crap in the toilet right next to me. FML
Today, I had my first kiss standing in front of my front door. It was really cute, the way you normally think about first kisses. When I got inside, I realized my mom had been watching out of her second story bedroom window, taking pictures. She put them on Facebook captioned, "My baby's first kiss!" FML
Today, I got dragged to dinner with my grandparents. It was awful from the start, but things took a turn for the worse when my grandpa went to give me a kiss on the cheek as we left. I could clearly see lice crawling around in his beard, and I couldn't stop it from touching my face. FML
Today, I finally convinced my grandpa to try a smartphone. After an hour of teaching him how to text, he announced he'd figured it out on his own. The first message he ever sent was meant for me. It went to his pharmacist instead and simply read, "Love you. Thanks for everything." FML
Today, my grandpa died. I called my grandma to make sure she was going to be fine. After talking over the phone for 30 minutes or so, I told her goodbye and said, out of habit, "Say hi to grandpa for me". FML
Today, my grandma called me to see how my oral surgery went. She gave me a kiss over the phone, but when I tried to make the kiss sound back to her, the bandages got in the way and it came out as a fart sound. FML
Today, while on a first date, I leaned in to kiss her, but my lips somehow brushed against her nose instead. I panicked and ended up kissing her forehead like a grandma saying goodbye to a child. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I shared our first kiss. When I leaned in on him, he fell over backwards and smashed his head against the floor. FML
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Top comments
sunnyray812 42
Family members don't count.
Teyros 24
You can tell your friends, but I think you'd rather forget that happening. Sorry it's kinda funny OP :P
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Comments (107)
olpally 33
The **** is wrong with him? That's creepy as ****! Tell your parents, that's not right.
Peachy2392 26
I agree with 41 and I think if he had another motive he wouldn't tell you to tell people about it.
SammyS2012 21
64- no one is saying maybe he missed. 41 is talking about when family kisses each other on the lips. it's a common thing outside the US.
chosha_fml 27
#41 An innocent gesture? Taking someone's face in your hands, kissing on the lips, the whole concept of a 'first kiss' - all romantic! What an asshole way to take away that beautiful moment, because now when OP thinks first kiss, creepy weird granddad will come to mind.
chosha_fml 27
#65 Yes, it is more common outside the US, but you wouldn't say that afterward, would you, if it was a normal thing?
catsie_fml 14
I'm crying for you
SmokinGuns 13
Creepy grandpa
Nolimit2217 32
Funny, creepy, weird.. I am going to pretend I never read this.
limitedition 25
That's so creepy. Keep away from Grandpa!
TheBlackRussian 13
At least he loves you...
Kiki242 19
What is up with grannies nowadays? They used to be so sweet, wise, and kind.
thaliah 15
That's odd and gross on his part..
JMichael 26
Great grandpa you've got there!
evolute72113 9
R u male or female? That's what makes the difference
therosalina 33
It would be weird either way