Today, my grandpa took my face in both hands, kissed me on the lips, said "Now you can tell all your friends you've had your first kiss," and walked out of the room. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my grandmother introduced me to her friends as her 16-year-old granddaughter "who has never been kissed." FML
Today, my grandpa took the family out for dinner and paid for everyone. He paid the bill and my family and I were waiting by the door. I realised I probably should thank him for dinner. I turned around without thinking and give him a big hug, and said, "Thanks for dinner Grandpa." It wasn't my grandpa. FML
Today, while I was doing my hair, my grandpa walked in, dropped his pants, and started taking a crap in the toilet right next to me. FML
Today, I had my first kiss standing in front of my front door. It was really cute, the way you normally think about first kisses. When I got inside, I realized my mom had been watching out of her second story bedroom window, taking pictures. She put them on Facebook captioned, "My baby's first kiss!" FML
Today, I got dragged to dinner with my grandparents. It was awful from the start, but things took a turn for the worse when my grandpa went to give me a kiss on the cheek as we left. I could clearly see lice crawling around in his beard, and I couldn't stop it from touching my face. FML
Today, I finally convinced my grandpa to try a smartphone. After an hour of teaching him how to text, he announced he'd figured it out on his own. The first message he ever sent was meant for me. It went to his pharmacist instead and simply read, "Love you. Thanks for everything." FML
Today, my grandpa died. I called my grandma to make sure she was going to be fine. After talking over the phone for 30 minutes or so, I told her goodbye and said, out of habit, "Say hi to grandpa for me". FML
Today, my grandma called me to see how my oral surgery went. She gave me a kiss over the phone, but when I tried to make the kiss sound back to her, the bandages got in the way and it came out as a fart sound. FML
Today, while on a first date, I leaned in to kiss her, but my lips somehow brushed against her nose instead. I panicked and ended up kissing her forehead like a grandma saying goodbye to a child. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I shared our first kiss. When I leaned in on him, he fell over backwards and smashed his head against the floor. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
sunnyray812 42
Family members don't count.
Teyros 24
You can tell your friends, but I think you'd rather forget that happening. Sorry it's kinda funny OP :P
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (107)
sunnyray812 42
Family members don't count.
Ebolaconflict 11
my mom says they count!
EmmaMK 35
Incest, the game the whole family can play.
_ashole 10
Aside from the fact that the kiss was given from grandpa it was a sweet gesture...
spoo 24
it does if the OP was kissing back :o
SonOfAMitch 14
It sounds like a sweet gesture -- but the fact that he took her face in both hands... euggh
chosha_fml 27
#37 No, it wasn't. It was creepy.
thecman25 14
im guessing that you had experience?
Teyros 24
You can tell your friends, but I think you'd rather forget that happening. Sorry it's kinda funny OP :P
LaurenLo 17
Hopefully it was meant in an endearing way, and not anything else!
Emiler98 11
This would be even weirder if op is a guy
xsilentxninjax 10
I think it's more disturbing than funny...
MrsDruidess 23
wow. . . what could you possibly say to that. . . thanks Gramps?
meggles4eva 8
awk
Welshite 40
If you are going to make annoying animal noises, make sure you're accurate. It's "squawk".
buckeyed 20
Doesn't matter; got kissed.
Kyuzomi 12
She just got kissed by her family member on the lips. It does matter.
buckeyed 20
I was playing off the "doesn't matter; had sex" joke. Thus, it's a joke.
amc597 28
I don't think OP enjoyed it if it's on FML.
EmmaMK 35
Gross! You need to work out if you need to tell someone. Was it humour or just wrong?
jondivey 9
****
bloodierframe30 16
Me
AliceLockehart 18
Sideways?
xsilentxninjax 10
Either way, it's wrong... no one should randomly just kiss you like that, even if they are a family member.
evan_7899 28
I Love that grandpa, and did you enjoy it?
noobienick 19
What the hell is wrong with you?
NashyzzleTheN 10
Ew why would you ask that
oreyoes 15
That is weird and disgusting of him, FYL indeed.
perdix 31
Did he slip you some tongue?
tacojauns 45
Nope but she got a little bit of denture
OctoDope 15
Oh ya, just the thought of tasting polygrip gives me a hard on
ABillOnFire 15
*gag*
pdp_fml 21
Gross!
McNikk 15
You should've pushed him away!
Jabberwockyy 13
Sock Grandpa right in his dentures !