Today, my grandpa took my face in both hands, kissed me on the lips, said "Now you can tell all your friends you've had your first kiss," and walked out of the room. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my grandmother introduced me to her friends as her 16-year-old granddaughter "who has never been kissed." FML
Today, my grandpa took the family out for dinner and paid for everyone. He paid the bill and my family and I were waiting by the door. I realised I probably should thank him for dinner. I turned around without thinking and give him a big hug, and said, "Thanks for dinner Grandpa." It wasn't my grandpa. FML
Today, while I was doing my hair, my grandpa walked in, dropped his pants, and started taking a crap in the toilet right next to me. FML
Today, I had my first kiss standing in front of my front door. It was really cute, the way you normally think about first kisses. When I got inside, I realized my mom had been watching out of her second story bedroom window, taking pictures. She put them on Facebook captioned, "My baby's first kiss!" FML
Today, I got dragged to dinner with my grandparents. It was awful from the start, but things took a turn for the worse when my grandpa went to give me a kiss on the cheek as we left. I could clearly see lice crawling around in his beard, and I couldn't stop it from touching my face. FML
Today, I finally convinced my grandpa to try a smartphone. After an hour of teaching him how to text, he announced he'd figured it out on his own. The first message he ever sent was meant for me. It went to his pharmacist instead and simply read, "Love you. Thanks for everything." FML
Today, my grandpa died. I called my grandma to make sure she was going to be fine. After talking over the phone for 30 minutes or so, I told her goodbye and said, out of habit, "Say hi to grandpa for me". FML
Today, my grandma called me to see how my oral surgery went. She gave me a kiss over the phone, but when I tried to make the kiss sound back to her, the bandages got in the way and it came out as a fart sound. FML
Today, while on a first date, I leaned in to kiss her, but my lips somehow brushed against her nose instead. I panicked and ended up kissing her forehead like a grandma saying goodbye to a child. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I shared our first kiss. When I leaned in on him, he fell over backwards and smashed his head against the floor. FML
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Top comments
sunnyray812 42
Family members don't count.
Teyros 24
You can tell your friends, but I think you'd rather forget that happening. Sorry it's kinda funny OP :P
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Comments (107)
FMLworthy5000 21
Awesome grandpa
stupidguy1313 6
What if OP is a guy...
sanecatlady 13
My parents and grandparents have kissed me hello, goodbye, and good night for years. I don't think they count since we're already related. And no, it's not incest, it's just what they do because they love me, not because they're IN love with me! Oh, why do I even bother explaining?
jessicarenee_x 4
my grandpa did the same thing when i was a kid LOL
Priyaroshni 40
Reading this made my lips tingle in revulsion. I didn't even know that was possible.
cwl727 33
That is really gross. I would dodge him from now on.
shardynfahey 19
That is disgusting
mistress_paz 30
Creepy grandpa is creepy
Becca34 31
Isn't that how everyone gets their first kiss?
Addiction333 14
So how was it? I'm dying to know if your first kiss was a good one.