Today, my grandpa took my face in both hands, kissed me on the lips, said "Now you can tell all your friends you've had your first kiss," and walked out of the room. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my grandmother introduced me to her friends as her 16-year-old granddaughter "who has never been kissed." FML
Today, my grandpa took the family out for dinner and paid for everyone. He paid the bill and my family and I were waiting by the door. I realised I probably should thank him for dinner. I turned around without thinking and give him a big hug, and said, "Thanks for dinner Grandpa." It wasn't my grandpa. FML
Today, while I was doing my hair, my grandpa walked in, dropped his pants, and started taking a crap in the toilet right next to me. FML
Today, I had my first kiss standing in front of my front door. It was really cute, the way you normally think about first kisses. When I got inside, I realized my mom had been watching out of her second story bedroom window, taking pictures. She put them on Facebook captioned, "My baby's first kiss!" FML
Today, I got dragged to dinner with my grandparents. It was awful from the start, but things took a turn for the worse when my grandpa went to give me a kiss on the cheek as we left. I could clearly see lice crawling around in his beard, and I couldn't stop it from touching my face. FML
Today, I finally convinced my grandpa to try a smartphone. After an hour of teaching him how to text, he announced he'd figured it out on his own. The first message he ever sent was meant for me. It went to his pharmacist instead and simply read, "Love you. Thanks for everything." FML
Today, my grandpa died. I called my grandma to make sure she was going to be fine. After talking over the phone for 30 minutes or so, I told her goodbye and said, out of habit, "Say hi to grandpa for me". FML
Today, my grandma called me to see how my oral surgery went. She gave me a kiss over the phone, but when I tried to make the kiss sound back to her, the bandages got in the way and it came out as a fart sound. FML
Today, while on a first date, I leaned in to kiss her, but my lips somehow brushed against her nose instead. I panicked and ended up kissing her forehead like a grandma saying goodbye to a child. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I shared our first kiss. When I leaned in on him, he fell over backwards and smashed his head against the floor. FML
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Top comments
sunnyray812 42
Family members don't count.
Teyros 24
You can tell your friends, but I think you'd rather forget that happening. Sorry it's kinda funny OP :P
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Comments (107)
142_cats 13
I think he might be a pedophile. Then again I believe in ancient aliens so you're probably over reacting.
Xotoolyxo 16
That's just disturbing, I wouldn't tell anyone that
perdix 31
Good thing he left the room. Who knows how many other "firsts" the OP would have gotten?
sassy2085 16
Eww your grandpa is strange
Vickyh46 8
Strange... But I think it's kinda sweet, too. I mean, he's trying!!! XD
worldclassrager 41
It's a standard that family members don't count...but if his name isn't like a Herbert or a Hershel you can lie by that...
Aqualuna_Raven 5
That sucks.
yusa5 3
That's strange.
awilliams44 9
grosssss
TheyCallMeDamien 18
That's horrible. That's so not right.