Today, I got dragged to dinner with my grandparents. It was awful from the start, but things took a turn for the worse when my grandpa went to give me a kiss on the cheek as we left. I could clearly see lice crawling around in his beard, and I couldn't stop it from touching my face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my grandpa took my face in both hands, kissed me on the lips, said "Now you can tell all your friends you've had your first kiss," and walked out of the room. FML
Today, I took my grandma to the hospital to visit her estranged husband who she hasn't seen in years. After a thoroughly disasterous visit, we're waiting in the carpark and my gran strokes my face and tells me I have a lot of facial hair. I thought she was going to thank me. And I'm a girl. FML
Today, I thought about going to visit an old girlfriend of mine with hopes of getting a little head. Unfortunately, I didn't know it would be head lice I'd get. FML
Today, my grandparents came over for a family dinner. I'm somewhat overweight, and my grandma kept making sound effects in time with me doing pretty much anything. When I complained to my dad after she made a long farting sound as I sat down, he told me to suck it up. FML
Today, I kissed my gorgeous new boyfriend for the first time. I ran my hands through his hair; a multitude of dandruff rained out and five lice crawled onto my hand. FML
Today, while I was doing my hair, my grandpa walked in, dropped his pants, and started taking a crap in the toilet right next to me. FML
Today, I went to my dad and new stepmom's house for the week. Upon arrival, I was handed mouthwash, deodorant, and lice shampoo. The guest bed I was told I'd be sleeping in was fitted with a plastic mattress cover. I don't have lice and I don't wet the bed. FML
Today, I got a haircut. During dinner, my grandmother complained about it, and said I looked terrible. I've had the exact same haircut for years. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went to visit his grandparents. Everything went well, until his grandmother approached me and asked me if I wanted to try some of her old bras. I didn't want to be rude, so I went with her. Most awkward moment of my life. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to meet my parents. Everything was going fine until she said she owned a dog. My mom then immediately attempted to check her scalp for lice. FML
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Top comments
Redoxx_fml 22
Lice to see you too
Dark__Angel66 24
Well, time to invest in some lice-be-gone shampoo.
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Comments (80)
Redoxx_fml 22
Lice to see you too
azhaela 11
Sounds like an itchy situation.
Ambient25 25
it must get crabby if he scratches his beard and then scratches lower
obnum 19
I'm scratching my head wondering where these bad puns went wrong. ;)
Ambient25 25
I blame Newcastle ;)
Dark__Angel66 24
Well, time to invest in some lice-be-gone shampoo.
\ 28
"You think I'm a dirty old man? How dare you insult me!"
BubbleGrunge 18
Good thing lice prefer clean hair!
Cyrus00 41
And get him a bottle for his birthday or christmas.
theonecasey 27
We are family it's ok to share ;)
Redoxx_fml 22
There's soon to be a happy family of lice in her hair
JMichael 26
What's for dinner? Well the main course is grandpa's beard with a side of lice.
IloveToLaugh143 21
What a lovely idea! Maybe for dessert we can have lice cream! Strawberry or Chocolate? You don't want ice cream? Maybe some key lice pie...
\ 28
Maybe Grandpa stores snacks in his beard. One of my friend's fathers does that and he attracted roaches
ryanthecheeseguy 18
I'll have some lice cream for dessert please!
Unbweavable 17
this is one of the times it's ok to push a grandpa
mkymouse90 17
Oh no.. You should let him know.. Don't forget to stop by walgreen before u get home to be on the safe side...
novapine 19
I can't imagine not telling my grandfather he has lice.
elcee1987 18
Yeah but how the hell is that conversation gonna go??
Cyrus00 41
Take him to the side and just tell him. I think he'd wanna know so he can do something about it.
Ambient25 25
Just smack him with the shampoo
Ambient25 25
I wish I could thumb you way up.....man that sounds wrong lol
mFUNdo21 17
or tell him to wash his beard with vinegar
utrax 23
That's horrifying. Beloved family or not, I wouldn't have let him come close to me with lice in his beard.
mosquito19 14
congratulations, you got crabs now.
ViviMage 40
Head lice and pubic lice are not the same critter!!
TheBrochure 22
No, but head lice are happy to take up residence down there! But I doubt OP's gramps went down on her anytime recently.
Llama_Face89 34
If you have head crabs you've got much bigger problems....