Today, my grandmother said she's noticed that I've been very angry lately. She came to the conclusion that I "haven't been laid enough" and my boyfriend is "not doing his job." Thanks Grandma. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my grandmother told me that if I didn’t get my act together, especially regarding a job, my relationship with my girlfriend would fizzle out. This is after I've already applied for 3 jobs. I told her respectfully that our relationship isn’t her business, and she threatened to kick me out of the house. FML
Today, my 65-year-old grandmother called and asked me to tell my boyfriend that she was flattered, but she's happily married. I have no idea what she was talking about and my boyfriend refuses to talk to me. FML
Today, my grandma got a new boyfriend. She dumped the old one because "His wife was taking too long to die." FML
Today, my grandma wasn't feeling well, so I went to her house to check on her. After about 20 minutes, I knew she was feeling better when she looked at me and said, "So, do you have a boyfriend yet? I pray every night that I get to live long enough to see you with a boyfriend." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like his grandma's house. FML
Today, I took my new boyfriend to a family dinner. Despite having made everyone agree to be on their best behavior, my grandma spewed obscenities such as "fuck me sideways, aren't you a catch?" and "you just can't pull ass like that at my age" throughout. FML
Today, my parents asked me if I was sexually active. My grandma then screamed from upstairs, "She's not even physically active!" FML
Today, I found out my grandmother passed away. When I told my boyfriend I began to cry. Instead of caring, he said "you're getting my bed wet," rolled over, and fell asleep. FML
Today, I check my phone regularly for calls or texts from her. I take her out to eat frequently, and we sleep in the same bed sometimes. Today I realized the closest thing I have to a boyfriend is my grandma. FML
Today, my grandma called me to tell me that a couple of cute boys stopped by her house to borrow something. She told them all about me, and that I would be interested in them. My love life is so pathetic, even my grandmother is trying to hook me up. FML
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Top comments
Damn_Hippster 11
Well, is she right?
outstandtacular 11
Grandma's just worried about her grandbaby!
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Comments (115)
funky103 5
im here for you
jackbruins 1
talk about creepy!!
StrangeDuckling 9
Oooh Grandma!! You always know what to say!! Xoxoxo
LaughterofCorn 4
Your grandmother sounds like a swell person OP
Javee 17
But your grandma isn't angry a lot? Hmm..
brackaman 18
He's had years of practice to perfect his art. By now he knows how to make with the sexy time yes?
kerr888 0
Haha well is he?
kerr888 0
Jw
DocBastard 40
Listen to your grandmother. She's seen it all and can probably teach you a thing or two. Your boyfriend might even appreciate your new skills. Or is it wrong to encourage kids to listen to (and learn from) their elders these days?
ForeverAloneGal 23
Eerily observant Grandma.
brackaman 18
Looks like op could use your profile picture right about now..
smilepatrol 7
You go grandma!
Zangetsu67 5
That's creapy man
erinnrose 9
Cool grandma I must say :)