Today, my grandmother said she's noticed that I've been very angry lately. She came to the conclusion that I "haven't been laid enough" and my boyfriend is "not doing his job." Thanks Grandma. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my grandmother told me that if I didn’t get my act together, especially regarding a job, my relationship with my girlfriend would fizzle out. This is after I've already applied for 3 jobs. I told her respectfully that our relationship isn’t her business, and she threatened to kick me out of the house. FML
Today, my 65-year-old grandmother called and asked me to tell my boyfriend that she was flattered, but she's happily married. I have no idea what she was talking about and my boyfriend refuses to talk to me. FML
Today, my grandma got a new boyfriend. She dumped the old one because "His wife was taking too long to die." FML
Today, my grandma wasn't feeling well, so I went to her house to check on her. After about 20 minutes, I knew she was feeling better when she looked at me and said, "So, do you have a boyfriend yet? I pray every night that I get to live long enough to see you with a boyfriend." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like his grandma's house. FML
Today, I took my new boyfriend to a family dinner. Despite having made everyone agree to be on their best behavior, my grandma spewed obscenities such as "fuck me sideways, aren't you a catch?" and "you just can't pull ass like that at my age" throughout. FML
Today, my parents asked me if I was sexually active. My grandma then screamed from upstairs, "She's not even physically active!" FML
Today, I found out my grandmother passed away. When I told my boyfriend I began to cry. Instead of caring, he said "you're getting my bed wet," rolled over, and fell asleep. FML
Today, I check my phone regularly for calls or texts from her. I take her out to eat frequently, and we sleep in the same bed sometimes. Today I realized the closest thing I have to a boyfriend is my grandma. FML
Today, my grandma called me to tell me that a couple of cute boys stopped by her house to borrow something. She told them all about me, and that I would be interested in them. My love life is so pathetic, even my grandmother is trying to hook me up. FML
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Top comments
Damn_Hippster 11
Well, is she right?
outstandtacular 11
Grandma's just worried about her grandbaby!
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Comments (115)
BabyGirlJr1 11
Lol check him :)
Needafarm 22
In my grandmothers old age it think she has loosened up a LOT. She told me that my finance and i need to hurry up and have a kid and that if i didn't want to stay with him once i was pregnant, that she was fine with that as long as i had a child with him. Ten years ago she never would have said that and told me to get married to him if we were screwing because that's how she was raised.
xaviiboo 9
I wish my grandmother would come to that conclusion.....
The_F3rris 11
Your grandma sounds like an amazing woman. I wish my grandma was that cool. Instead i got "your dog is the devil because its black". Trade you?
Nhk_fml 4
Probably has a point... If only your boyfriend was with you at the time
LdyJstc 8
Grandma speaks the truth!!! Good sex and a nice fat blunt will do the trick every time...
Megyn_13 0
Go grandma lol :)
TrueFG 2
I love that grandma, she does have a point.
NinjaAssasin720 0
What a bitch
DarthVader77 9
I like no bullshit people