Today, my grandmother said she's noticed that I've been very angry lately. She came to the conclusion that I "haven't been laid enough" and my boyfriend is "not doing his job." Thanks Grandma. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my grandmother told me that if I didn’t get my act together, especially regarding a job, my relationship with my girlfriend would fizzle out. This is after I've already applied for 3 jobs. I told her respectfully that our relationship isn’t her business, and she threatened to kick me out of the house. FML
Today, my 65-year-old grandmother called and asked me to tell my boyfriend that she was flattered, but she's happily married. I have no idea what she was talking about and my boyfriend refuses to talk to me. FML
Today, my grandma got a new boyfriend. She dumped the old one because "His wife was taking too long to die." FML
Today, my grandma wasn't feeling well, so I went to her house to check on her. After about 20 minutes, I knew she was feeling better when she looked at me and said, "So, do you have a boyfriend yet? I pray every night that I get to live long enough to see you with a boyfriend." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like his grandma's house. FML
Today, I took my new boyfriend to a family dinner. Despite having made everyone agree to be on their best behavior, my grandma spewed obscenities such as "fuck me sideways, aren't you a catch?" and "you just can't pull ass like that at my age" throughout. FML
Today, my parents asked me if I was sexually active. My grandma then screamed from upstairs, "She's not even physically active!" FML
Today, I found out my grandmother passed away. When I told my boyfriend I began to cry. Instead of caring, he said "you're getting my bed wet," rolled over, and fell asleep. FML
Today, I check my phone regularly for calls or texts from her. I take her out to eat frequently, and we sleep in the same bed sometimes. Today I realized the closest thing I have to a boyfriend is my grandma. FML
Today, my grandma called me to tell me that a couple of cute boys stopped by her house to borrow something. She told them all about me, and that I would be interested in them. My love life is so pathetic, even my grandmother is trying to hook me up. FML
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Top comments
Damn_Hippster 11
Well, is she right?
outstandtacular 11
Grandma's just worried about her grandbaby!
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Comments (115)
Damn_Hippster 11
Well, is she right?
MrRager7 1
Well this is awkward..
boating_guy 33
Well, she's a realist. And remember, she's probably done everything you've done (and more) at least once in her life, don't sell her short!
izzy7 11
My thoughts exactly.
opendoorclosed 8
Your grandma is awesome.
mylifesucks_fml 1
and you're complaining that she's telling you to go have fun (if u know what I mean)!? my grandma would be appalled and probably would prefer I lived my life in a gerbil ball!
BubbleGrunge 18
She probably most definitely is right! Gentlemen, if your woman is being bitchy, you can almost always solve it with sex!! Make love, not war!!!
TwiztedYuri 9
your boyfriends name isn't Michael is it? if it is... I see why your so angry
unknown_user5566 27
If she is right, tell your boyfriend to step up his game, pronto. Buy him a spicy sex position book, or rent a female-friendly **** video. ;) If you're getting so little action that you're developing anger problems, there is an issue!
william8691 10
Grandparents keeping it real once again. Lol
spazz666 18
Gramma knows best
silverstream20 20
Nice CopperCab reference.
outstandtacular 11
Grandma's just worried about her grandbaby!
MrRager7 1
Well.. Is she right?
MrRager7 1
**** off with the thumbs down you Pansy's. We both said it at the same time, he just beat me by a second.
DocBastard 40
Wow, really? Do you measure your self worth based on thumbs here? If so, I don't see you lasting very long. For the record, I wasn't going to thumb you up or down until I saw your whining. That earned you an immediate thumbs down.
MrRager7 1
Yes. I come onto fml everyday, write a comment, see how many thumbs up I get and depending on that I decide on how I feel about myself for the rest of the day. Guess you already figured me out.
sleepywaterpony 5
He IS a doctor..
ThisIsMyReign 4
MrRager, do you have some sex issues as well? Why, so serious? :D
MrRager7 1
And apparently a bastard
ThisIsMyReign 4
MrRager7, you know tampons are for girls right?
MrRager7 1
No your mom was over last night. ******.
ThisIsMyReign 4
Haha, feels like middle school all over again. MrsRager7, mom jokes have been excluded from this session. Please, try again later.
ShawnzieNstuff 6
He's definitely raging! Haha
Pentium_4 27
everyone gets thumbed down sometimes, you're just going to have to deal with it.
Spiral_Thoughts 19
I do think it unfair to thumbs someone down for making the same reply as someone else at the same time. It isn't like he controls time and space and should have anticipated this happenstance. Let's be more understanding. :)
IsAbElLiCiA20 6
The thumbs up or down are people's opinions, and opinions are very much like ass holes. Everyone has one, but some of them just stink :)
ydi_4_suking 20
Dang dude relax. Its either a hit or miss with the comments
TwiztedYuri 9
23 read his name. its only his nature
spazz666 18
I hate when comments got modded before I can read them ): I was enjoying the unnecessary anger and shit storm :/
Discombobulated9 12
*Cough* No offence to anyone, or DocBastard, but I tend to find that everyone is happy with comments until DocBastard disagrees with them and then suddenly the thumbs down begin to pour in; even when similar comments have received positive feedback in the past. You're like a flock of sheep.
DocBastard 40
Discombobulated - With all due respect, the original comment has exactly 6 more thumbs down now than it did when I wrote my response. It was already getting thumbs down, hence his angry retort. Not exactly your "flock of sheep", eh?
kerr888 0
Seriously they said it at the same time it's not his fault
MagicStallion 9
If he cares about thumbs up or down that's his problem. If he wants to do something about it by saying he posted a second after, he's within his rights. No one on FML should be aiming to get people to thumb down what they think is wrong, and Doc, if that's not the case for you then fine. If people decide to follow Doc like a flock of sheep than that is their choice and if they are morally wrong then it is their own mistake.
hitmanoo 16
Perhaps grandma could give you a lesson or two.
brohamas16 7
Haha grandmas always know what to say
bmkc4 1
That's crazy that grandma thinks about your sex life
WiderWille 11
Yeah, old people shouldnt be allowed to think about such things!
Kbearlove23 0
They are wiser they speak truth.
KiddNYC1O 22
This is random but your picture is like a puzzle. Took me a while to figure out. I just knew there was hair there.
Xcherrypie 16
She should tell your boyfriend for you, Let him know what he's doing wrong with gestures and lists.
CRrawsum 7
Well then maybe he isn't hitting it right...
thatonename 7
Did you really think you were going to be taken seriously? I'm sorry, you're 15. Even if you have had sex you still don't know what "hitting it right" even is. Sorry bout the rant, kids posting about sex is just a pet peeve...
ZestyPepper 4
As long as they're only posting about it :)
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
65- 'Scuse me, but kids/teenagers have the same commenting rights as adults. I'm fourteen. I can and will post about whatever is on my mind, and she should be able to do the same. Worry about yourself. Jesus ****.
brackaman 18
90 No ones saying you lack the right to say something, (First amendment and all that) but sometimes just because you can do something doesn't mean you should do it. Some things just make you look bad
ThecomingofTan 9
65, really? Are you trying to tell me that I don't know where my Blu-ray player's sweet spot is. I will have you know that I made sweet, sweet love to that thing for 2 years now, and I know where that ******* sweet spot is--- Oh, you were talking about kids having sex with each other. Carry on then.
Abbyybba 0
She just wants what's best for you!!!