Today, my grandmother said she's noticed that I've been very angry lately. She came to the conclusion that I "haven't been laid enough" and my boyfriend is "not doing his job." Thanks Grandma. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my grandmother told me that if I didn’t get my act together, especially regarding a job, my relationship with my girlfriend would fizzle out. This is after I've already applied for 3 jobs. I told her respectfully that our relationship isn’t her business, and she threatened to kick me out of the house. FML
Today, my 65-year-old grandmother called and asked me to tell my boyfriend that she was flattered, but she's happily married. I have no idea what she was talking about and my boyfriend refuses to talk to me. FML
Today, my grandma got a new boyfriend. She dumped the old one because "His wife was taking too long to die." FML
Today, my grandma wasn't feeling well, so I went to her house to check on her. After about 20 minutes, I knew she was feeling better when she looked at me and said, "So, do you have a boyfriend yet? I pray every night that I get to live long enough to see you with a boyfriend." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like his grandma's house. FML
Today, I took my new boyfriend to a family dinner. Despite having made everyone agree to be on their best behavior, my grandma spewed obscenities such as "fuck me sideways, aren't you a catch?" and "you just can't pull ass like that at my age" throughout. FML
Today, my parents asked me if I was sexually active. My grandma then screamed from upstairs, "She's not even physically active!" FML
Today, I found out my grandmother passed away. When I told my boyfriend I began to cry. Instead of caring, he said "you're getting my bed wet," rolled over, and fell asleep. FML
Today, I check my phone regularly for calls or texts from her. I take her out to eat frequently, and we sleep in the same bed sometimes. Today I realized the closest thing I have to a boyfriend is my grandma. FML
Today, my grandma called me to tell me that a couple of cute boys stopped by her house to borrow something. She told them all about me, and that I would be interested in them. My love life is so pathetic, even my grandmother is trying to hook me up. FML
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Top comments
Damn_Hippster 11
Well, is she right?
outstandtacular 11
Grandma's just worried about her grandbaby!
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Comments (115)
stfuNOWplease 6
#61 gerbil ball??? My grandma would love if I became a nun!!! I would get cursed out for the rest of my life from the family if I mention sex to grandma. OP, if you want, we can switch grandmas. Win win situation
lenachka25 1
You have a pretty cool grandma
Darkmagic666 9
Grandmas are good at knowing and saying things that are true and also not exactly appropriate.
afrothunder666 5
I always tell my lady when she's angry she needs a good humpin'
bronxkam 4
You should listen to your elders.
dragynfyre 4
Your gran ROCKS lol!
melrose90210 10
Well, she has been around...
Paintonmyarms214 21
Old people aren't who they used to be...
Isa_fml 20
Haha, personally I think that's hilarious. Awkward, maybe, but pretty funny. At least she's looking out for you, right? I like to think that's something my grandma would have said. ;)
maclieberman 5
well grandma knows what she's talkin about lol, u better have a little chit chat with ur boyfriend about this...us guys know what's up, idk about urs lol