Today, my grandma told everyone at our party to stay away from me, saying, "Ya might catch obesity from her and become fatass porkers too." I complained to my dad, at which point my gran faked being inebriated. My dad rolled his eyes and said, "She's DRUNK, honey. Chill out." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my grandparents came over for a family dinner. I'm somewhat overweight, and my grandma kept making sound effects in time with me doing pretty much anything. When I complained to my dad after she made a long farting sound as I sat down, he told me to suck it up. FML
Today, during a family reunion, my 89 year-old grandma stood up and drunkenly made a speech about how ashamed I should be of myself for still being single. She then passed out at the table. Half my family got up to help her, the other half whispered in agreement. FML
Today, my grandma got piss drunk off two glasses of wine and kept telling me how I'm "so... ROUND!" FML
Today, I had to cancel my plans to go see my grandma, because I wasn't feeling too well. I called her to apologize, but she had trouble remembering who I was. When I told her my name, she said "Oh, the FAT one." Yes grandma, the fat one. FML
Today, my grandmother said to me, "You look just like your mother did at your age. Except you're fatter of course." FML
Today, at my maternal grandmother’s wake, I decided I deserved a piece of cake as it had been a hard day. I was serving myself a slice when my paternal grandma caught my eye from across the room, making a “fat face” at me. She called out, loudly, “You don’t need it Pudgy.” FML
Today, I was at a restaurant with my grandma. A young, ripped gentleman suddenly walked through the door and my grandma looked at him and shouted, "Look! Eye candy!" as loud as she could. He heard it and was extremely embarrassed. To make it worse, my grandma is a widow, so she might have actually meant it. FML
Today, my psycho grandma yelled at me for being an "immature brat" by not offering to wash the dishes after dinner. I reminded her that when I offered last time, she raged at me for being "condescending." She responded by faking a heart attack and getting me indefinitely grounded. FML
Today, I drove over an hour to my grandma's house for her birthday party. When she answered the door, her eyes went wide and she said angrily "No, not you!" and slammed the door shut in my face. FML
Today, I caught my mother-in-law filling my one-year-old's cup with Dr. Pepper. When I flipped out, she told me I was overreacting since "all her kids turned out fine." Save for my husband, all her kids are morbidly obese diabetics who’ve struggled with poor diets. She herself is almost 450 lbs. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
sierraaaa 15
Sounds like my family reunions. Sometimes you just gotta "respect" your elders by biting your tongue. Although that was quite insensitive of her. I'm sorry OP that's not nice at all
Kateyez_26 13
Tell everyone to steer clear of grandma or you'll get saggy **** that look like plastic bags filled halfway with water lol
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (106)
camoney 4
Sometimes old lady's fall and can't get up, others just need a little push now and then. Sorry dad my porky butt knocked grandma down the stairs.
ILoveMyArm 15
And sadly those stairs led to a conviently placed stack of needles pointing upwards... Too far?
SenselessPattern 12
For some reason, I found that to be hilariously worded. Bravo sir!
mangoboy1 19
If you're not happy with how you look then lose weight. Just make sure the weight loss is healthy.
AppleJuiceBox 10
I don't think it's OP who is unhappy about her weight. The fact that her grandmother was picking on her for such a sensitive topic is what got to her. Girls take their weight very seriously.
hcollins1 18
If she did want to lose weight, it may not always be that easy. Some people have medical conditions that make it almost impossible to lose weight.
Kagulocke 13
Because she totally sounds unhappy with her weight. not er douche canal grams
badluckross 21
How old is your grandmother? That's pretty rude.
1PersonIsMyWorld 22
45-75..why it matter? Ops grandma is a bitch either way.
Olympiakos10 15
Drunk Grandmas, they never get old. ^^
FreakyMySlinky 7
That's because they already are old.
AppleJuiceBox 10
OP stated she was acting inebriated to get away with it, she wasn't actually drunk.
SuperDanielNL 23
Although you do best to ignore your spitefull grandma, you might look into a more healthy lifestyle. A good health is in your hands.
1PersonIsMyWorld 22
r u a fortune cookie?
RoboCunnilingus 23
-cough-sendhertoFlorida-cough
abbruzzi67 15
Tell your family members to stay away from her as they might catch "rude ass old lady"
olpally 33
Curse her out for being a bitch. Should've just went straight to her instead of your dad. Grandmas and cats are the biggest trolls.
Grayness_ 26
Complained to your dad ? Really ? Really ? -_- . If you want something done do it yourself.
Obey_StudBoii 23
Hell yea same thing I was thinking.
raddybear 11
Accidentally push her into a wall or something just a love tap but hard enough to let her know you don't like what she is saying and if she is "drunk" she wont remember how it happened right