Today, my grandma came over for the holidays. She tried explaining how Santa is actually Christ reincarnated, giving presents to all the good little Christian boys and girls. She'll be staying all week. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my psychotic grandma set fire to our Christmas tree because she refuses to let us celebrate what she calls a twisted pagan holiday. FML
Today, I was overseeing a nativity play rehearsal. Things went fairly well, until a boy's grandma stormed in, ranting that Christmas is a "Pagan abomination", and shouting for him and his mom to leave with her. Half the kids were left in tears, and we had to cancel the rehearsal. FML
Today, my mother came over to visit, and my kids started excitedly telling her Christmas is coming soon. She freaked out, saying Christmas is a "Satanic holiday" and telling them that Santa is going to hell along with everyone who celebrates it. My children are now traumatized. FML
Today, my perfectly healthy grandmother came to stay for Christmas. First, she persuaded my family to give her my bedroom. That would have been fine, until she demanded she should also have a bucket to piss in under my bed too. FML
Today, I had a very long, complicated talk with my girlfriend. Apparently, since she isn't religious, she doesn't have to give anyone Christmas presents, and yet expects everyone to give her some. She then told me what I should get her. FML
Today, my grandparents thought it would be acceptable to give me and my wife Christmas presents to take to my ex-wife, along with a card saying how much they missed her and to get in touch with them next time she is in town. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my mother. She asked me if I was going to make it to Christmas at home. I told her that I would try and make it home since it would be my grandma's last Christmas alive. To my luck, grandma was sitting in the car with my mother, and speaker phone was in use. FML
Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML
Today, I went to visit my senile grandma, since she's ill and nobody else in the family visits her. I ended up having to sit through a long rant about the Illuminati, black people, and how we'd have a cure for the common cold already if it weren't for "those god damned foreigners". FML
Today, my grandma told me she likes to clean the house naked every day. I'm staying there all next week. FML
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Top comments
peacelovecoffee 20
That makes more sense than the real story, lol.
Zestus 19
he's not?
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Comments (133)
miggles 16
Sounds like a sweet grandma c:
gracehi 33
Just keep her away from arson granny. You know, the one who set the family Christmas tree on fire because it's a "twisted Pagan holiday." Yeah, we definitely don't want those two getting into a discussion... Not without a video camera recording anyway. We don't want to miss one senile demented moment.
sanecatlady 13
I think that's adorable, and I'm not religious either.
CeeCee_fml 16
I'm not seeing what is so wrong with what she is saying. So what if that is the story she believes about Santa?
Dmc169 9
Try explaining to her that Christmas was thousands of years before Christ. I'm sure that conversation will go well
Rag_dollxx 21
I work with the elderly and they can say some strange things lol just let her believe what she wants and enjoy your week with her.
Enslaved 38
She's old and set in her ways. It's not going to change. Let her think what she wants if it'll make her happy. My family never allowed us to believe in Santa. They refused to allow some fat man to get credit for their well thought out gifts.
neuronerd 29
Anyone else seeing the problem with combining Christianity and reincarnation?
gracehi 33
I think the bigger problem is equating Santa with Christ, which is blasphemous if you believe in Christianity.
rockydify 22
Originally reincarnation was a part of the Christian tradition. It's in one of the 'dumped' books of the Bible.
neuronerd 29
That's very interesting and I didn't know that. Where can I find a copy of that part? My spirituality is probably closest to Buddhist thought, so I'd be interested to learn about that thought in Christianity.
papasmurf6358 3
that has to be the most positive religious radicalism I've ever heard.
frizz101 22
While I am religious I think your grandma is crazy. Santa is in no way even remotely associated with Christianity. I am sorry that your grandma is kind of ruining your holiday.
Rag_dollxx 21
How is she ruining their Christmas holidays? By having an opinion?
frizz101 22
No by being crazy and spouting off nonsense. And if the family isn't religious, she is confusing OPs kids, and depending on how old they are, completely ruining Santa.
frizz101 22
It's one thing to have an opinion, it's another thing entirely to shove that opinion down other people's throats.
gracehi 33
Frizz, Santa is based on Saint Nicholas, a Catholic saint. So unless you want to claim that Catholicism isn't a Christian sect (which wouldn't be entirely surprising, because some people do), yes Santa does have to do with Christianity. Although, no, he's not Jesus reincarnated, and her saying that might confuse the children. But I don't think it has to "ruin" Christmas. OP just has to explain to them that Grandma is a little loopy and that she's wrong on this one. Hopefully that doesn't cause them to start disrespecting their grandmother, though.
Rag_dollxx 21
Yes Frizz, I agree that there is a big difference but OP says that Grandma tried to explain her beliefs, doesn't mention anywhere about having beliefs "shoved down their throats".
SuperMew 22
Why is one lie better than the other? Maybe Op should be honest and say the truth about Santa. He isn't real but he does represent the giving spirit of Christmas, much like Jesus represents love to many people. My parents did this for me as a child and I turned out fine.
thefattest 1
I believe Saint Nicholas actually participated in the council of Nicea, if I remember correctly. That would mean he actually has a big role in Christianity