Today, I had a very long, complicated talk with my girlfriend. Apparently, since she isn't religious, she doesn't have to give anyone Christmas presents, and yet expects everyone to give her some. She then told me what I should get her. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, because it was our first Christmas as a couple, I was careful to get my girlfriend what I considered to be a very thoughtful gift. She opened it, took one look at it, made a face like I'd just kicked a puppy, and told me that in future it would be better if I just gave her money so she could buy her own presents. FML
Today, I've been considering breaking up with my girlfriend so I don't have to buy her a Christmas present. FML
Her revenge
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She then proceeded to ask for all the gifts she gave me for Christmas back. FML
Today, after buying my girlfriend a $700 bracelet for Christmas, I hinted that I wanted a pair of Oakleys. She told me I shouldn't get her anything and that I should expect even less. FML
Today, I bought my girlfriend a very expensive necklace. I gave it to her thinking she'd be extremely happy. Instead she was mad at me because my gift for our anniversary was better than hers. FML
Today, my girlfriend is locked in the bathroom crying because I didn't buy her anything for Valentine's Day, even though Friday, at her suggestion, we agreed not to exchange gifts because both of our birthdays are a week away. FML
One-sided
Today, after I spent quite some time getting thoughtful gifts for my friend and her kids ahead of their visit, she made a big fuss about how she'd "forgotten" to bring the gift she'd bought for me. Later, she casually admitted that she'd intentionally not bought me anything because she, "didn't think I'd need it." FML
Today, my girlfriend came home and announced that she'd just bought a $40 pair of flipflops. She then declared that I wouldn't be getting a birthday gift this year due to budget shortfalls. For hers a month prior, I'd got her a $300 piece of jewelry. FML
Today, I thought my mom and I could put aside our differences and open our Christmas presents. When she opened mine, she turned to my dad and said she didn't want the present, so I could give it to someone else. 'Tis the season. FML
Influencers
Today, my wife asked me to wrap an empty box to put under the Christmas tree. She didn't want her vlog followers to think she didn't get me any gifts. FML
Top comments
ThatGenericGuy 6
Get her a bible :)
ChampionKO 6
a hard *******????
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Comments (309)
psyco5000 0
First for once! Winning
ChampionKO 6
a hard *******????
Damn_Hippster 11
Merry Christmas!!
chester75 5
I hate it when people expect things from you yet if the situation was reversed it's "different".
ananonymousguy 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Haha well I guess it kind of makes sense : with her not being religious, there is nothing that says to give presents, and with you and others being religious, it is a part of your religion to give presents :o
Awsumuzzie 12
1- No???? Also, that makes sense, I suppose... but if she really meant to be supportive, she can do what I do... Give a present only if I recieve one. I tell people not to get me anything, that's probably where she went slightly off with her flawed selfish logic.
MrShizzBear 0
Tell her your religion requires gifts to be bought for you :)
Marcella1016 32
You guys have it all wrong. To put it simply, she is a cheap, selfish bitch who is making excuses. You don't have to be religious to celebrate Christmas, I know plenty of atheists who do. FYL OP for having to deal with a gf like that.
tjv3 10
Tell her that she can't have it both ways. If she doesn't celebrate Christmas then she doesn't get gifts. And tell her you aren't going to get her anything since you respect her religious views
FarSide 23
OP... what you should get is "over her".
Eenonymous 1
That's weird #29. I've never heard anything saying that I must give Christmas gifts to believe in God. I know a lot of anti-religious people who celebrate christmas.
DontModMeDammit 10
32, you are just as bad as OP's girlfriend.. Religion aside, giving a gift and "expecting" one back is not the point of giving a gift. You are just as selfish as the girlfriend.
Awsumuzzie 12
121, it's not part of my religion to celebrate Christmas... but since I'm forced into returning a gift, I do so. I would rather not get a gift at all, hence me saying that before... I still don't see the selfish part of trying to not celebrate a religion that's not mine....
nava1210 12
Don't get her anything. Just break up with her... Calm down guys, I'm kidding.
stephan18 23
People who say they don't believe in god but still celebrate Christmas are hypocrites who don't really mean it, sorry to be mean but denying god and expecting gifts on his day of birth is.. Wrong? P.S I'm not religious, I'm just saying :)
Hardwaregeek 0
164, First of all, the holiday you consider the birth of a mythical prophet is actually a pagan holiday. Secondly, Christmas is more commercial than religious. The bible doesn't say that people should buy expensive electronics made in China. Non Christians can celebrate Christmas. However, that being said, OP's girlfriend has an extreme double standard which is obscene.
mezochan 29
164, are you stupid? That was the worst thing that I have ever read; ever.
soccerguy2 11
I wonder if she will get any presents from Santa. Probably not with that attitude.
Awsumuzzie 12
165, oh, not at all. I guess I will accept gifts and do the immoral thing by keeping it to myself and not returning the nice gesture. That does seem more appealing... But I'll stick with being a good friend. I know the point of Christmas is to give and not get a gift back, but IT AIN'T MUH HOLAYDAY, so I have to return the favor, speaking from my moralistic views, though.
sivadet 3
BHay every body lay of 165
tatababe 1
Lol get get virgin Mary candles
jonathanje2 0
Religious or not The main reason its to celebrate with ur beloved ones... that how in the old was celebrated....
enonymous 9
I expect everyone here to give me a gift. I accept cash check and teabaggings
NippsSlipps 10
I'm atheist and i give and recieve presents. It's the season of giving to me, you don't have to be religious.
japtch 15
I'd just give her my leftover halloween candy.
LaughAtLaugh 7
Jesus wasn't born on Christmas you oaf. The only previous association with religion is that old saint nick was a 'saint.' Jesus' birth was stapled onto the holiday. Stop being such a Bible thumper and actually learn about your own religion!
raphanne_fml 33
#212 I wouldn't even give her my Halloween leftover candy...
Naitsi 19
agre
redmane 21
164- Even I know Christmas is celebrated by Christians because of the birth of JESUS, not god. And I'm athiest.
stephan18 23
296- no shit, last time I checked Jesus was also considered god/son of ******* god
bonebreaker223 1
No need to say that stupid
DonovanRiddick 6
A hard ******* beating
pyromania21 0
haha 29 get some real history facts the association between religion and Christmas is vague Jesus wasn't born December 25 cause in his time calendars were different so its technically impossible to determine that the basis was was good will towards ur fellow man and givin to those who need it it just evolved from there and since it was started by a preist named Nicolas clause it got associated with religious beliefs ops bitch of a gf is just a cheap greedy hoe
kei1108 13
The Christian Bible says nothing about giving gifts at all. It actually doesn't mention the word Christmas. That's just something that people made to celebrate the birth, and decided that the way people should celebrate is giving gifts to eachother a we received on the day that Christ. Bam.
yourlifesfucked 0
I love how 229 insults people for not knowing about their own religion when he doesn't know jack shit about christmas either. Christmas was created by the church during the roman empire and put near the winter solstice, because many pagan religions had their own solstice festivals and it was the church's way of making it easy to convert people. christmas did NOT start as a gift giving holiday. That whole thing is secular. Being an atheist is fine, being a retard is not.
lovelife9 12
First comment(:
ThatGenericGuy 6
Get her a bible :)
ShroomsOnAcid 17
Because it's impossible for someone to be stupidly selfish if they would just read the Bible.
ThatGenericGuy 6
I never said that. I just meant that if her excuse is religion, give her some.
inarsla 8
Statistically, atheists have a greater knowledge of the Bible than most Christians
ShroomsOnAcid 17
65- Which is precisely why they're atheists in the first place.
hollya17 6
Can't go wrong with Bible!
silver0jay 11
Wouldn't she be agnostic?
greenishyellow 5
They were giving out free Bibles near my station yesterday. Maybe you can give her one of those :)
kaprookie 3
70 - Made me laugh, hope you don't mind but I'm gonna steal that :)
melikeyturtles 3
Where exactly in the Bible does it say Jesus was born on December 25th???? Oh, it doesnt!
Alexisthebestest 16
December 25 is just a day set aside to celebrate the birth of Jeaus. About 70 years ago, Christmas was celebrated on January 3.
melikeyturtles 3
@146- then where does it say Jan 3 is the day he was born. The bible doesnt list a day because his birthday isnt important. Jesus nor the 1st century christians celebrated his birthday while he was alive. Christmas is a pagan holiday that people attached Christ to. The bible does say however specifically at Ecclesiastes 7:1 that the day a man dies is better than the day he was born because he has made a name for himself at death. So celebrating Xmas by saying its christs birthday is just a lie
farhil 14
Nobody cares about Jesus's real birthday dude. It's just an annual celebration that he was born. Nothing more.
Epsilonyx 15
A majority of the Atheists I've spoken to know almost nothing substantial about the Bible. Feel free to thumb me down, buuuuut it's my experience.
melikeyturtles 3
157- I totally agree with you! People dont care about his birthday hence Santa Clause being the main attraction. Christmas isnt even truly about Jesus anymore so (my personal opinion) religous aspects should be removed from it completely. Take the star down, call it a "holiday tree" tree, take "christ" out of christmas because linking it to Jesus is pagan (false worship) & really a slap in his face.
Thabb 0
Get her nothing. I she breaks up with you, say: "Aw! Just what I wanted!"
youshitme 9
Who is Jeaus?
sivadet 3
**** all u nonbelievers christmas is to cellebrat Jesus christ even if it's been turned into an idiotic way for compens to milk us for all were worth
mr_inkredible 0
180- how can you curse while telling us to celebrate Jesus?
jonathanje2 0
you know santa real color was green until the company coca cola got it they made it red y do you always see a coke on santa hand mostly on every comercial
jweezy89 4
180, Your spelling indicates a lack of intelligence. I wouldn't have expected anything other from some bible fanboy. Have you not stopped to think about why the bible was written? No one knows, but I think it's likely to have been created as a means to control an increasingly immoral society.
NotDave 0
70 years ago was 1941. Christmas was on the same day in 1941. Some historians estimate that Jesus was born in February, but even if a birthdate was proven, no one could move a commercial holiday.
LaughinStock 16
While everyone is arguing I'm just going to come out and say this but the bible is a great hitting book. CAN I GET AN AMEN!!!!
raney150 0
Agnostic isn't a religion. Most atheist are agnostic. There are agnostic Christians. You are either agnostic, or gnostic, and then a religious belief. Like a Christian that says they know they are right is a gnostic Christian. A person who believes we can't prove there is a god, but believes in christianity anyway is an agnostic Christian. Same for any religion or atheism.
Mister_Triangle 21
If you're an athiest, then, by definition, you're not agnostic. Some may be agnostic and incorrectly identify themselves as 'atheist', but saying "most atheists are agnostic" is false. Atheism is a lack of belief in a god or deities; agnosticism is "I need to see significant proof one way or the other before I make up my mind"
docscientist 10
Statistically, 158. One of them was on that website the pew something website, showing that atheists and agnostics knew more about religions than those who subscribed to a religion. This makes sense because many people who become atheist would likely investigate other religions for answers before concluding god(s) doesn't exist. But you're fairly young, so most "atheists" you met are probably doing it because it's "cool."
Epsilonyx 15
Lol, could I see evidence of this statistic? And no, not really. I'm partial to online/real life debating (philosophical, religious, etc) so I usually get a first-hand account of those who know something. Or at least claim to. And it's usually very little.
Epsilonyx 15
Lol, could I see evidence of this statistic? And no, not really. I'm partial to online/real life debating (philosophical, religious, etc) so I usually get a first-hand account of those who know something. Or at least claim to. And it's usually very little.
facilitator 0
AMEN!!!
OfficeNinja 5
You sir are a genius! Perfect idea. Give a bible to the non-religious person who insists on being a selfish bitch for Christmas. Awesome. Ignore all the idiots who don't understand the concepts of "humor" and "irony".
docscientist 10
257, it's on the pew forum website. I don't know the page offhand, as it was last year, but if you want to see, I'm sure a google search will land you in the right spot.
SW500 13
Im almost certain Jesus had to have been born in the fall. At least from my research.
sky22_fml 7
Ummm yeahh...I think she needs to GO!!
Jdimp 1
anybody who believes that atheist know more about the bible is completely stupid. Even if statistics say it, sometimes they are just made up. maybe the atheist knows more because he was once a Christian. And why are we even discussing this on FML. Smh ppl go ahead and dislike this but it's truth.... just like Jesus and the Bible. want proof, go look it up
hzlzkgzkgzchxuxh 3
Get her a breakup gift
rattusrattus 19
The traditional Atheist breakup gift is a swift boot up the backside, out of the front door.
iam_yummylicious 12
Or a science textbook?!
FYLDeep 26
Maybe he should just get her a heart.
naughtia 14
Give her a donation in her name to "The Human Fund"
Ha1r1nY0S0up 15
179 - or maybe even a brain
yoshikatshomoto 2
Talk about selfish. It only paves a way for u to see what your In store for
J3R3MYY 14
Yeaa shes a greedy bitch straight up.
jedielf 23
Hell yes. Makes you wonder how old this girl is, tbh, seeing as though she doesn't seem to have gotten the kick up the ass she needs.
sixfoot2 0
That makes absolutely no sense!! You better not give her anything or you'll be the idiot.
Blackmail111 9
I celebrate christmas even though I'm Athiest. I celebrate to give gifts and celebrate an upcoming new year. You my friend need to dumb your selfish girlfriend.
Philliesfan9391 3
And besides, christmas isn't about gifts. It's about celebrating and spending time with loved ones
CryMoreFMLs 15
I think she's already dumb enough, 49, if she thinks that will work.
Blackmail111 9
#50 Exactly! The only thing that's better than gifts is having the oppritunity to spend time with your family.
Coccinelle_fml 15
#53 that's the cheesiest and wrongest thing I've ever heard. I'd gladly give away all the Christmas presents I've ever gotten to keep my family as far away as possible, forever.
Blackmail111 9
#51 I just saw what I wrote and got your joke XD. sorry it's supposed to say dump
Blackmail111 9
#76 Yea well other people apreciate having a family and people who love them.
WutzButz 3
Considering what fails here sometimes are posted with just plain horrible family members you can't actually believe she might not have a reason for wanting them away from her.
WutzButz 3
And some people have family members whoarejust plain horrible,don't understand how can't get that,considering what fails are sometimes posted here.
Blackmail111 9
Yea well she needs to adress that rather than just saying she doesn't want them around. Some people just plain don't want to have their family around for no reason.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
76, Just take what he said and replace family with people you do love to be around. "Family" could be subjective - you don't have to be related by blood to feel the same connection with other people.
sivadet 3
I grant u your beliefs but Christmas is still about crist
hzlzkgzkgzchxuxh 3
Haha I'm the 69th like
huh_what 4
dump her.
silver848 6
I would
ninjuh_wingman 29
Thats retarded. You dont have to be religious to give presents.
melikeyturtles 3
Agreed! What does Santa have to do with Jesus anyway?
chelseaaababyyy 17
136 - Santa actually originates from Pagan traditions. kinda weird.
jedielf 23
And going by her logic, since she's not religious, she shouldn't be *getting* any presents either.
jedielf 23
Shit, forgot that was in the original post... :
IKickPuppiesHard 16
Hope she said she wants a good back hand for christmas.
leadman1989 16
And a good front hand, and a sack of frozen oranges. She's very greedy.
eharmonee 0
Back hand is punishment. The palm of the hand is abuse. So just backhand her.
eharmonee 0
....