Today, my grandma came over for the holidays. She tried explaining how Santa is actually Christ reincarnated, giving presents to all the good little Christian boys and girls. She'll be staying all week. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my psychotic grandma set fire to our Christmas tree because she refuses to let us celebrate what she calls a twisted pagan holiday. FML
Today, I was overseeing a nativity play rehearsal. Things went fairly well, until a boy's grandma stormed in, ranting that Christmas is a "Pagan abomination", and shouting for him and his mom to leave with her. Half the kids were left in tears, and we had to cancel the rehearsal. FML
Today, my mother came over to visit, and my kids started excitedly telling her Christmas is coming soon. She freaked out, saying Christmas is a "Satanic holiday" and telling them that Santa is going to hell along with everyone who celebrates it. My children are now traumatized. FML
Today, my perfectly healthy grandmother came to stay for Christmas. First, she persuaded my family to give her my bedroom. That would have been fine, until she demanded she should also have a bucket to piss in under my bed too. FML
Today, I had a very long, complicated talk with my girlfriend. Apparently, since she isn't religious, she doesn't have to give anyone Christmas presents, and yet expects everyone to give her some. She then told me what I should get her. FML
Today, my grandparents thought it would be acceptable to give me and my wife Christmas presents to take to my ex-wife, along with a card saying how much they missed her and to get in touch with them next time she is in town. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my mother. She asked me if I was going to make it to Christmas at home. I told her that I would try and make it home since it would be my grandma's last Christmas alive. To my luck, grandma was sitting in the car with my mother, and speaker phone was in use. FML
Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML
Today, I went to visit my senile grandma, since she's ill and nobody else in the family visits her. I ended up having to sit through a long rant about the Illuminati, black people, and how we'd have a cure for the common cold already if it weren't for "those god damned foreigners". FML
Today, my grandma told me she likes to clean the house naked every day. I'm staying there all next week. FML
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Top comments
peacelovecoffee 20
That makes more sense than the real story, lol.
Zestus 19
he's not?
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Comments (133)
PizzaDeliveryGrl 19
I think I have to reinforce that Santa, for one thing, is not real, and that Christmas was originally a PAGAN. HOLIDAY. Because a lot of people are forgetting that. OP, it could be just me but it looks like the granny is stretching the truth (NOTE: lying) much more than she needs to. Honestly, you should just tell the kids to ignore it.
ChunkyBuiscuit 13
And that's a problem why?
Huddisher 10
Then why am I getting presents?
FireFang1331 13
Better than the people who think he's Satan because of all the red...good luck over the next week OP! FYL
0o0o0 9
He's not Satan because of the red. He's Satan because Santa/Satan is almost the same word.
Philr_fml 3
But isn't that kind of what he is?
aimeelstuart 2
Christianity didn't beleive in reincarnation.. ??