Today, my girlfriend was packing for her study abroad program. Jokingly, I got her a pack of condoms. She laughed, saying "Oh yeah, I'll definitely need some of those." Later, I showed up to take her to the airport and saw her open suitcase in the kitchen, with the condoms on top. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend came back from camping with her friends. I say "friends", I mean "friend". And when I say "friend", I mean "her ex". I took a look through her bag afterwards, and well, who knew condoms were considered camping equipment these days. FML
Today, my mom stole the condoms out of my room and gave them to my little brother because I "won't be needing them anytime soon". FML
Today, I got a package in the mail from my girlfriend. I was really excited until I realized that it was just a box full things that I gave to her. FML
Today, I got off work early to go home and surprise my girlfriend with lunch, only to come home to her in the middle of packing up all of her stuff. FML
Today, I had my first real meeting with my girlfriend's parents. We had dinner at a pretty upscale restaurant and everything was going great. When the check came, I offered to pay and I stood up to take out my wallet. When I opened it, 3 condoms fell out on the table in front of them. FML
Today, after visiting my mom, she stuffed a bunch of pads in my backpack so I'd have some at my dorm. When I was going through security, I was stopped and ended up missing my flight. Apparently the jumbo pads my mom sent look exactly like packs of cocaine when they go through the X-ray machine. FML
Today, as I was crossing to the US, I got pulled over by border patrol for looking "suspicious". The female cop searched my purse and found a condom. She smirked and said, "I doubt you'd ever need that." FML
Today, I looked on my sister's phone. There was a text from her boyfriend: "Let's go camping again, I bought more condoms so we won't make a big mess this time." Last time they went camping, they borrowed my sleeping bag. FML
Today, I was helping my friend pack her carry on for her vacation. I drove her to the airport, and after her plane took off, I noticed I put my cell phone in her purse. Her vacation is 2 months long. FML
Today, I went shopping with my mother, when someone snuck a pack of condoms into our cart while our backs were turned. When we got to the register, my mom, whose wealth makes me ineligible for financial aid, noticed the condoms and she announced that she wasn't paying for the college I got accepted to next year because she doesn't want a promiscuous daughter. FML
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Top comments
inkstains 0
#8: "there must be a reason for the abroad program" Yeah, women ONLY travel and go to school to get laid. Right. I'm sure there IS a reason, but it's likely that sex is not her main goal.
marris 0
If you can't take a joke, why'd you give her the condoms in the first place. Seriously, think about a suitcase - who would put condoms on top of their clothes and not in one of the pockets for little items.
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Comments (105)
jesusjr 0
One the bright side, she won't get some weird foreign STD!
MissFae 0
Maybe she just didn't want to leave them in her room at home for her parents to snoop around.
arms_akimbo 0
Look, if you're going to give her a box of condoms before she goes AWAY, you're basically asking for it.
BamaFan112 1
Agreed with #20. I would be paranoid anyway as well before the condom incident so I see what you're going through. Personally I suggest just talking to her about it and maybe ask her why she packed them..?
sara942 0
If she knew you were taking her to the airport, she probably put them in a very visible spot to get back at you for your joke. If she really wanted to fool around, she'd have hid them (or not used THOSE particular condoms because, really, HOW WRONG IS IT to use condoms your BF GAVE YOU as a funny joke to CHEAT on him...) Seriously, who does that?
horsegirl724 0
ok for the record I sometimes take condoms on trips with my friends in case they need them even when I have no intention of sleeping around try some trust
crissycat07 0
you just gave her a ticket to **** anyone she wants LOL i mean wheres she going? if shes hott its gunna be hard to resist
CaptainDoorknob 7
Spoken like a true ****.
Lick_yer_face 0
I agree with #16. It's the old joke-switcher, you bought her them as a joke, she takes them (and makes sure you see them) as a joke... Or she might want to use them as water balloons, either way.
Failercoptor 0
you should say "why the hell are you bringing condoms with you" Problem, solved. kinda
scb197 0
oh for ****'s sake guys. the idiot asked for it when he packed her condoms "as a joke" and when she did it back, he couldn't handle her joke. ha, she's gonna get preggers when one slips off.