Today, my girlfriend was packing for her study abroad program. Jokingly, I got her a pack of condoms. She laughed, saying "Oh yeah, I'll definitely need some of those." Later, I showed up to take her to the airport and saw her open suitcase in the kitchen, with the condoms on top. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend came back from camping with her friends. I say "friends", I mean "friend". And when I say "friend", I mean "her ex". I took a look through her bag afterwards, and well, who knew condoms were considered camping equipment these days. FML
Today, my mom stole the condoms out of my room and gave them to my little brother because I "won't be needing them anytime soon". FML
Today, I got a package in the mail from my girlfriend. I was really excited until I realized that it was just a box full things that I gave to her. FML
Today, I got off work early to go home and surprise my girlfriend with lunch, only to come home to her in the middle of packing up all of her stuff. FML
Today, I had my first real meeting with my girlfriend's parents. We had dinner at a pretty upscale restaurant and everything was going great. When the check came, I offered to pay and I stood up to take out my wallet. When I opened it, 3 condoms fell out on the table in front of them. FML
Today, after visiting my mom, she stuffed a bunch of pads in my backpack so I'd have some at my dorm. When I was going through security, I was stopped and ended up missing my flight. Apparently the jumbo pads my mom sent look exactly like packs of cocaine when they go through the X-ray machine. FML
Today, as I was crossing to the US, I got pulled over by border patrol for looking "suspicious". The female cop searched my purse and found a condom. She smirked and said, "I doubt you'd ever need that." FML
Today, I looked on my sister's phone. There was a text from her boyfriend: "Let's go camping again, I bought more condoms so we won't make a big mess this time." Last time they went camping, they borrowed my sleeping bag. FML
Today, I was helping my friend pack her carry on for her vacation. I drove her to the airport, and after her plane took off, I noticed I put my cell phone in her purse. Her vacation is 2 months long. FML
Today, I went shopping with my mother, when someone snuck a pack of condoms into our cart while our backs were turned. When we got to the register, my mom, whose wealth makes me ineligible for financial aid, noticed the condoms and she announced that she wasn't paying for the college I got accepted to next year because she doesn't want a promiscuous daughter. FML
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Top comments
inkstains 0
#8: "there must be a reason for the abroad program" Yeah, women ONLY travel and go to school to get laid. Right. I'm sure there IS a reason, but it's likely that sex is not her main goal.
marris 0
If you can't take a joke, why'd you give her the condoms in the first place. Seriously, think about a suitcase - who would put condoms on top of their clothes and not in one of the pockets for little items.
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Comments (105)
thebaroness1984 0
Maybe she thinks you're okay with her cheating on you. I mean, WHY would you give her condoms? I would be hurt and think that YOU were planning on cheating while I was away too. Either way, time to dump!
texmas 0
A) She could be using them with toys. You're supposed to. B) You're SERIOUSLY deluded if you think this relationship is going to work out over study abroad. They never do. Besides, it's apparent that this is one of those jokes where you're subtly suggesting that you're insecure and don't trust her. Like making fun of a boy who has a crush on your girlfriend.
Ciara Koch 22
Yesss I had an ex that would do shit like that. He’s so obviously trying to **** with her he can give it but he can’t it back? What a ******* pussy
texmas 0
But no, she didn't go abroad to cheat on you. That's dumb as hell. I'd have broken up with you if I wanted to cheat.
jojo1031 0
Pffft. She's just messin with ya. Probably. I'm pretty sure. I wouldn't worry about it. Much.
watupyo 0
As someone studying abroad right now with a significant other back home, there could be several reasons she brought them... 1) They really are a reminder. Anything sexual could remind her of him. 2) She wanted to joke back. He didn't laugh. 3) She didn't want to leave them lying around at home to avoid awkward questions from the parents. 4) Maybe the boyfriend's visiting later and she wants to have them for when he's there. And #8, "there has to be a reason?" Ummm maybe exploring the world, experiencing a new culture, meeting people completely different from you, or learning a new language? No, you're right, it has to be that she wants to cheat.
teamplayer 0
thats rough man check to see if ne are missing
fml147 0
id be pissed off, it basically means she will cheat on you, its not gonna "remind her of you" if anything it will remind her you got them for her to have sex on her trip!
FoundManyLemons 0
It's gotta be at least one of these: a) She's totally gonna **** other guys on her trip. b) She's going to use them to protect her toys. c) She was annoyed at your joke and turned it around on you. d) She just absentmindedly grabbed the condoms when you reminded her about them because "Of course, condoms, gotta pack everything..." And you've got to be the judge of that.
vballer 0
Hahahahaha. A such as much that sucks I have to laugh. It means 1 of 2 things. 1. She is going to use them and cheat on you. 2. She left the suitcase in the kitchen, open, with the condoms on top, for you to find so she could play a joke on you.
mariposa93 0
What is wrong with you people? Yes, it is entirely possible for two people to be in a relationship and be apart. It's also possible to not go around having sex with everyone you meet. That doesn't mean that you "can't get any." It means that you aren't a ginormous ****. It means that you have respect for yourself and your partner, and aren't a major jackass. It was stupid of you to give her the condoms. What did you expect? She definitely could be using them on her toys though. Either man up and talk to her about it, or stfu and wait to be dumped.