Today, my girlfriend was packing for her study abroad program. Jokingly, I got her a pack of condoms. She laughed, saying "Oh yeah, I'll definitely need some of those." Later, I showed up to take her to the airport and saw her open suitcase in the kitchen, with the condoms on top. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend came back from camping with her friends. I say "friends", I mean "friend". And when I say "friend", I mean "her ex". I took a look through her bag afterwards, and well, who knew condoms were considered camping equipment these days. FML
Today, my mom stole the condoms out of my room and gave them to my little brother because I "won't be needing them anytime soon". FML
Today, I got a package in the mail from my girlfriend. I was really excited until I realized that it was just a box full things that I gave to her. FML
Today, I got off work early to go home and surprise my girlfriend with lunch, only to come home to her in the middle of packing up all of her stuff. FML
Today, I had my first real meeting with my girlfriend's parents. We had dinner at a pretty upscale restaurant and everything was going great. When the check came, I offered to pay and I stood up to take out my wallet. When I opened it, 3 condoms fell out on the table in front of them. FML
Today, after visiting my mom, she stuffed a bunch of pads in my backpack so I'd have some at my dorm. When I was going through security, I was stopped and ended up missing my flight. Apparently the jumbo pads my mom sent look exactly like packs of cocaine when they go through the X-ray machine. FML
Today, as I was crossing to the US, I got pulled over by border patrol for looking "suspicious". The female cop searched my purse and found a condom. She smirked and said, "I doubt you'd ever need that." FML
Today, I looked on my sister's phone. There was a text from her boyfriend: "Let's go camping again, I bought more condoms so we won't make a big mess this time." Last time they went camping, they borrowed my sleeping bag. FML
Today, I was helping my friend pack her carry on for her vacation. I drove her to the airport, and after her plane took off, I noticed I put my cell phone in her purse. Her vacation is 2 months long. FML
Today, I went shopping with my mother, when someone snuck a pack of condoms into our cart while our backs were turned. When we got to the register, my mom, whose wealth makes me ineligible for financial aid, noticed the condoms and she announced that she wasn't paying for the college I got accepted to next year because she doesn't want a promiscuous daughter. FML
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Top comments
inkstains 0
#8: "there must be a reason for the abroad program" Yeah, women ONLY travel and go to school to get laid. Right. I'm sure there IS a reason, but it's likely that sex is not her main goal.
marris 0
If you can't take a joke, why'd you give her the condoms in the first place. Seriously, think about a suitcase - who would put condoms on top of their clothes and not in one of the pockets for little items.
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Comments (105)
egaonogenki 0
What's wrong with this one? I don't think a connection's clicking here like it has on the other FMLs.
marris 0
If you can't take a joke, why'd you give her the condoms in the first place. Seriously, think about a suitcase - who would put condoms on top of their clothes and not in one of the pockets for little items.
randki 0
Well.. Im sorry man, but Id man up and break up with her to save yourself the pain. Trust only goes so far, but the only reason someone brings condoms with them is to have sex.. What, you think she is going to blow up balloons? All these people saying to trust her, and that sex isnt on her mind are being naive.
aussieking 0
shud av put a pin through 1 of the dommies and told her if shes rootin round then its gonna be a game of russian rulette
Ratchet319 0
You'd have to poke a whole in all of them EXCEPT one
CaptainDoorknob 7
85 - You're daftly unaware of how Russian roulette is played.. You start with one in the chamber.
Dirk_fml 0
Why don't you just ask her what's she's really up to and say you're a bit worried...
Jason_fml 0
Unless it was a surprise, "Oh hey I thought I would be sweet and take you to the airport," sort of thing, she must have known you were coming over to take her. If she knew and she was really going to do anything while she was gone she wouldn't be so stupid to just leave the condoms lying on top like that where you obviously would see them. You deserve this. You bought the condoms in the first place, it's your fault you feel insecure about her now (unless of course there were already trust issues with her, which still makes it your fault for buying condoms for a girl you have problems trusting in the first place).
PTERONOPHOBIA 0
At least she won't be coming back with a foreign guys kid
King_of_Kings 3
hey #9 i agree with you. not all college students main goal is to get laid. but by the way this FML sounds, it sounds like she wants to cheat. read this FML again and think about it carefully and you'll see what i mean.
holynemesis1208 3
you have to take advantage of an experience like that.
macfluffers 0
Sometimes it's best not to tempt fate. Or girlfriends.