Today, my girlfriend was packing for her study abroad program. Jokingly, I got her a pack of condoms. She laughed, saying "Oh yeah, I'll definitely need some of those." Later, I showed up to take her to the airport and saw her open suitcase in the kitchen, with the condoms on top. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend came back from camping with her friends. I say "friends", I mean "friend". And when I say "friend", I mean "her ex". I took a look through her bag afterwards, and well, who knew condoms were considered camping equipment these days. FML
Today, my mom stole the condoms out of my room and gave them to my little brother because I "won't be needing them anytime soon". FML
Today, I got a package in the mail from my girlfriend. I was really excited until I realized that it was just a box full things that I gave to her. FML
Today, I got off work early to go home and surprise my girlfriend with lunch, only to come home to her in the middle of packing up all of her stuff. FML
Today, I had my first real meeting with my girlfriend's parents. We had dinner at a pretty upscale restaurant and everything was going great. When the check came, I offered to pay and I stood up to take out my wallet. When I opened it, 3 condoms fell out on the table in front of them. FML
Today, after visiting my mom, she stuffed a bunch of pads in my backpack so I'd have some at my dorm. When I was going through security, I was stopped and ended up missing my flight. Apparently the jumbo pads my mom sent look exactly like packs of cocaine when they go through the X-ray machine. FML
Today, as I was crossing to the US, I got pulled over by border patrol for looking "suspicious". The female cop searched my purse and found a condom. She smirked and said, "I doubt you'd ever need that." FML
Today, I looked on my sister's phone. There was a text from her boyfriend: "Let's go camping again, I bought more condoms so we won't make a big mess this time." Last time they went camping, they borrowed my sleeping bag. FML
Today, I was helping my friend pack her carry on for her vacation. I drove her to the airport, and after her plane took off, I noticed I put my cell phone in her purse. Her vacation is 2 months long. FML
Today, I went shopping with my mother, when someone snuck a pack of condoms into our cart while our backs were turned. When we got to the register, my mom, whose wealth makes me ineligible for financial aid, noticed the condoms and she announced that she wasn't paying for the college I got accepted to next year because she doesn't want a promiscuous daughter. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
inkstains 0
#8: "there must be a reason for the abroad program" Yeah, women ONLY travel and go to school to get laid. Right. I'm sure there IS a reason, but it's likely that sex is not her main goal.
marris 0
If you can't take a joke, why'd you give her the condoms in the first place. Seriously, think about a suitcase - who would put condoms on top of their clothes and not in one of the pockets for little items.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (105)
turbogirl 0
Well, you encouraged her. YDI
Kai58 0
you put the idea in her head you idiot, and if i were you, id either put iching powder in that suitcase? or burn that ****** case, then her :3
wow_its_me_ 0
=P.
wow_its_me_ 0
how is that her fault? or mean? =D. you gave them to her..!
RastaboyJordanE 0
bummer bro. I'm not saying she's cheating but if she is it will hurt you so much worse when you find out for sure than if you'd dump her now.
couturegirl2 7
It's better to be safe than sorry (;
sincerely331 0
dump the bitch
SubakuNoAndo 7
LOLOLOL, isn't that your fault?
shinshoku13 19
She probably put them in as a last minute thought or noticed them late
shinshoku13 19
Nvm i just realised it said boyfriend not friend...
rchnumbuhwun 0
You dumb ***
penguinslover23 0
Well at least she will enjoy your gift