Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was with her. No, let me correct myself. Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was in her. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after dating my girlfriend for about a month, she changed her Facebook status to taken. When I saw the update, I immediately clicked "Like." Then I looked up and saw I wasn't the person she had put herself in a relationship with. FML
Today, I had a date with a girl I'd been seeing for about a month. When I got home, I saw her Facebook status changed to "In a relationship." This made me kind of excited, until I realized it wasn't with me. FML
Today, I changed my Facebook relationship status to "In a relationship." The girl is made up and the picture is from Google. FML
Today, my girlfriend's Facebook relationship status was changed to single. When I tried to ask her about, she told me she's a lesbian now. Her mullet should've been a clue. FML
Today, I rang my girlfriend to make sure she made it home alright. She told me to check my Facebook. Nothing was different so I hit refresh. We were no longer in a relationship. I got dumped via Facebook whilst on the phone to her. FML
Today, I saw the girl I had started dating changed her Facebook relationship status to "In a relationship". Naturally, I changed mine too. The next time I logged on, she had commented, "Really?! Who?!" She was serious. FML
Today, my girlfriend changed her relationship status on Facebook to 'It's Complicated' because I didn't give her my last cookie. This happens all the time. FML
Today, my boyfriend posted a status on Facebook saying what a great girlfriend he had. Flattered, I commented on it, saying that I felt the same about him. Turns out he was talking about his other girlfriend. FML
Today, my girlfriend got into my Facebook account and changed our relationship status to single, just to see which of my friends would "like" it. After revealing to me what she did, she now says I can no longer be friends with anyone who liked it. FML
Today, my girlfriend informed me that we aren't officially dating until she changes her Facebook relationship status. We've been "dating" for 3 months. FML
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Top comments
callargh 0
At least she didn't tweet it?
geesquared 0
you're doing something wrong if she's uh bored.
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Comments (214)
StingMunFizzy 0
o_O.. Okay? So what? Stfu and enjoy the sex?
jivealive_5 0
Maybe she was updating it to say that she was so bored during sex she had time to play about on facebook? Dude, something is seriously wrong in ur relationship if she's facebookin during sexy time!
jivealive_5 0
Maybe she was updating it to say that she was so bored during sex she had time to play about on facebook? Dude, something is seriously wrong in ur relationship if she's facebookin during sexy time!
JayJay11 0
Maybe she just wanted to let everyone know that... Yeah, I got nothing. Get better at sex.
TriniRockStar 0
lmao
insertAlias 0
I can't be the only one who is tired if these assholes trying to phrase their fmls into witty jokes. Just tell your story, don't make a joke about it.
brrrx 0
Completely agree with 17. I preferred the old days, where the bluntness of the terrible story is funny enough, without trying to make a joke out of it. Now it's all "guess what happened?" and "romantic, right?" If your story was a true "**** my life" moment, you wouldn't need to try to make it witty.
deliverypenguin 0
i second this motion
addictinsane 0
Would it really matter? If people didn't phrase their fmls in a witty way, you would complain about "the same old boring thing" and wishing someone would mix it up. No one can win on this site full of angry and judgemental people.
M0rt 0
No you're the only one
caancoha 0
Brush up on your moves. Obviously you can't pleasure her. Maybe try to work on foreplay a little more.
HahaYDI 0
So.....I really don't see how that would **** his life...unless his parents were friends with him
lovesanaix413 0
lmfao. thats hilarious.
englishmuffin 0
More like FHL if she was that bored. Maybe you two need to talk about how to make sex a mutually pleasurable act.