Today, I had a date with a girl I'd been seeing for about a month. When I got home, I saw her Facebook status changed to "In a relationship." This made me kind of excited, until I realized it wasn't with me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after dating my girlfriend for about a month, she changed her Facebook status to taken. When I saw the update, I immediately clicked "Like." Then I looked up and saw I wasn't the person she had put herself in a relationship with. FML
Today, I saw the girl I had started dating changed her Facebook relationship status to "In a relationship". Naturally, I changed mine too. The next time I logged on, she had commented, "Really?! Who?!" She was serious. FML
Today, I rang my girlfriend to make sure she made it home alright. She told me to check my Facebook. Nothing was different so I hit refresh. We were no longer in a relationship. I got dumped via Facebook whilst on the phone to her. FML
Today, I changed my Facebook relationship status to "In a relationship." The girl is made up and the picture is from Google. FML
Today, I logged onto facebook, and saw that one of my friends had just listed herself as in a relationship. I was happy for her, so I clicked the "like" button. Then I went to her page to see who her new boyfriend was. It was my boyfriend. FML
Today, I had the displeasure of watching my boyfriend’s Facebook go from “In a relationship” with me to “Single”, then switched to a big “In a relationship with” the girl he told me was “just a friend” post, after ending our 5-year relationship over text message. FML
Today, I logged on to Facebook to find that my boyfriend's relationship status had changed to being in a relationship with his ex. I asked him about it, and all he said was, "I guess I forgot to break up with you." FML
Today, I was talking to my girlfriend on Facebook. She's in the forces, and it was her birthday. I asked her if she liked the flowers I sent her. She thanked me, then asked if she could remove our relationship status. When I asked why, she said, "It's not like we're really going out anymore." FML
Today, while surfing facebook I noticed someone in my network had recently shifted his relationship status from undeclared to "single." We've been dating exclusively for nine months. FML
Today, I woke up happier than I've ever been because last night I hooked up with the girl I have loved for almost a year and I thought I would never get with her. This morning I saw that her status on Facebook was "FML". FML
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Top comments
mintcar 10
You were " seeing " her for a month. That doesn't mean you were in a relationship. You probably wanted to take thing slow and I'm sorry it ended the way it did. FYL, but next time make sure you communicate.
mopar309 2
I pity the fool...
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Comments (55)
fmfreakinlife 3
got you fooled
zkchild 0
Ya she does, she's only playing hard to get.
mopar309 2
I pity the fool...
iJasper 8
I love your picture! :3
KiM1314 0
Aw! Poor OP. She wasn't worth your time, though.
Privations_fml 3
ooo burn!
youfailed18 0
So, she was talking to someone else too? That's not a crime. You weren't in a relationship with her. Don't limit yourself from the get-go OP.
ramram1500 0
don't jump to conclusions Yo
shoopd 19
But...I made a mat for that exact purpose!
DocBastard 40
And THIS is why you read the goddamned FML and use your shriveled up, dusty excuse for a brain before you comment. He clearly states they had been dating for a month. This wasn't a random hookup. And what signs should he be looking for? Another guy's pubes on her toilet?
Troll1 0
you know you're a redneck.. when your girlfriend has a bigger penis than you do.
DocBastard 40
A) This isn't funny. B) This made no sense. C) What the hell are you smoking? D) At least you used "your", "you're", and "than" correctly. E) See A and B
djcoco5 0
it does make sense. get your panties out of a bunch and don't let everything offend you. he's saying that she's a bigger "player" than him. he just chose an "interesting" way of saying so.
DocBastard 40
No, it still doesn't make any sense, assface. And thanks so much for reminding me just how silly it was in the first place. Your explanation makes even less sense. Why the need for your parentheses? What the hell does penis size have to do with being a player? And what does any of it have to do with being a goddamned redneck? And why would you think I was offended? And where the **** do you get off telling me what can and can't offend me? Are you glad you stuck your nose in now?
TylersBoo 0
Go Doc! :)
docscientist 10
Because, rednecks.... wait, what!?
djcoco5 0
you're an idiot doc because you don't even know the difference between quotations and parenthesis. dumb a*s.
DocBastard 40
You are correct in that I misidentified the quotations as parentheses, and I'm a little ashamed that I missed that. Does that make me a dumbass or an idiot, or just someone who had been awake doing a trauma shift for 36 straight hours and maaaaaaybe a little tired? Would that excuse me for my transgression? It doesn't change the fact that your "explanation" was completely incoherent. **** you, shit-for-brains. Now I'm ******* offended, you goddamned troll. I hate myself for feeding into this, but I'm in a bad mood today.
rallets 23
#42 wins.
FYLDeep 26
Another guy's pubes in her mouth. That's when you know there's someone else.
oldenuff2party 3
dude. ur the booty call/ home wrecker
kwarrior66 0
and this is a bad thing? (nice pic by the way)
sourgirl101 29
It's not a bad thing, if that's what you are looking for. But I know a lot of guys that want to be in a relationship with a "faithful" girl.
ramram1500 0
so true!
Snowjob 0
sooo true!