Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was with her. No, let me correct myself. Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was in her. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after dating my girlfriend for about a month, she changed her Facebook status to taken. When I saw the update, I immediately clicked "Like." Then I looked up and saw I wasn't the person she had put herself in a relationship with. FML
Today, I had a date with a girl I'd been seeing for about a month. When I got home, I saw her Facebook status changed to "In a relationship." This made me kind of excited, until I realized it wasn't with me. FML
Today, I changed my Facebook relationship status to "In a relationship." The girl is made up and the picture is from Google. FML
Today, my girlfriend's Facebook relationship status was changed to single. When I tried to ask her about, she told me she's a lesbian now. Her mullet should've been a clue. FML
Today, I rang my girlfriend to make sure she made it home alright. She told me to check my Facebook. Nothing was different so I hit refresh. We were no longer in a relationship. I got dumped via Facebook whilst on the phone to her. FML
Today, I saw the girl I had started dating changed her Facebook relationship status to "In a relationship". Naturally, I changed mine too. The next time I logged on, she had commented, "Really?! Who?!" She was serious. FML
Today, my girlfriend changed her relationship status on Facebook to 'It's Complicated' because I didn't give her my last cookie. This happens all the time. FML
Today, my boyfriend posted a status on Facebook saying what a great girlfriend he had. Flattered, I commented on it, saying that I felt the same about him. Turns out he was talking about his other girlfriend. FML
Today, my girlfriend got into my Facebook account and changed our relationship status to single, just to see which of my friends would "like" it. After revealing to me what she did, she now says I can no longer be friends with anyone who liked it. FML
Today, my girlfriend informed me that we aren't officially dating until she changes her Facebook relationship status. We've been "dating" for 3 months. FML
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Top comments
callargh 0
At least she didn't tweet it?
geesquared 0
you're doing something wrong if she's uh bored.
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Comments (214)
kewlcat 0
stop complaining you got laid right?
gofriars 0
YDI for being that crappy.
bluephoenix1498 0
totally agree with both these comments
xTIGERxLILYx 0
Amen to all three.lol
ReasonsToFly 0
YDI for having sex with your daughter
thatwasobvious 0
YDI for eating salmon for lunch on the last thursday when it was raining in Michigan and having not let your dog outside in the past hour.
iljajlm 4
Well you have to have SOME way to defeat boring sex right?
puddin989 0
In fact, it sounds pretty awesome to me...I would probably brag about this rather than be upset. You sound like a puss complaining about something that is, frankly, the opposite of an FML.
humorizer 14
Hey, how come everyone's ignoring the trolls? If you don't laugh/yell at them, they won't have any incentive to keep giving us their cheesy comments :(
puddin989 0
In what way is my comment a troll...if you read between the lines here this kid is obviously under 20 years old, started to go at it while they were already using a computer and she thought it would be fun to brag about doing something while she was being entertained. So it sounds as if the kid got a spontaneous lay and failed to realize her forethought of humorous intention. They weren't "making love" or trying to procreate, they were straight fu*kin' for fun. The kid needs to grow a pair, sack up and realize that sometimes sh*t like that is a sweet story for the guys. She's definitely telling her friends about it. Unless her update read, "This kid's d*ck is small as hell," enjoy her playfulness and be grateful you have someone who understands that sex isn't always romantic. Which, down the road means you'll get off way more than not.
waterynuggets 0
You don't have to be at a computer to update your Facebook, homie.
AnaMaree 0
Everyone is not a troll, you idiots. I'm tired of stupid 12-year-olds calling everyone who doesn't ********** to the Jonas Brothers a troll.
MadVlrus 1
Status Update: Me and my boyfriend are having sex right now.
fatalkiss 0
haha I agree. I updated my status when I was with my bf an hour ago. he actually updated it for me
fatalkiss 0
oh shit I didn't see the in her part my bad
OasC82 0
I remember when I had my first beer.
katiegason 0
cheese cake
WorldCupCheer 0
hate fb addicts my beatfriend goes on and off every 10 mins :/
icanhazblivions 1
what?
Lifeisntfair13 0
where the the hell does it say daughyer?
dragonrider1959 18
Like you could do better you asshole.
rebel_yell_tiny 0
oh wow, maybe she wanted to post about how good of a time she was having? hahaha idk
maximum408 0
haha reply to her status update
geesquared 0
you're doing something wrong if she's uh bored.
timeandmusic 0
Very true!
neonpanda44 0
agreed:)
callargh 0
At least she didn't tweet it?
TheUnnamedOne 0
Lmfao!! you are brilliant
niceNeasy 0
hahaha i totally agree.
Kyran17 0
WOrd up niggga haha funny man
Ligerie 0
A lot of these from Cali lately. But maybe you deserve it maybe you don't. Depends on what you were doing at the time.
Jbiebs82 0
Did it say: "Soooo bored.. My boyfriend is still inside of me... WTF he needs to leave!"
deliverypenguin 0
whatd she update it to?
volleyballgirl16 0
well work on entertaining her better while having sex, youre probably not very good
kcakes12 0
agreeed.
aja175 0
My boyfriend and I have a deal. When clothes are off the social networking is off too.
suaveneanderthal 0
lol isn't it sad that people have come to that?
RPGkid 0
I have to agree. My girl and i had only one exception to that rule. But that was beause she needed a break.
Poke_my_mon 0
That's the lie she told you, huh?
icrest80 4
@#9 that would be a gr8 tip 4 the OP. The problem with that is though hes prolly so bad she would just stop having sex with him all together
lovelykendra5 0
What an amazing rule, i agree.
curlyfry33 8
I feel like this should be common sense..
DVC22 0
How is this an FML? You got laid.
ashleylee 0
lol so true
TheNewGuy03 29
It means he sucks balls in bed.
zipykido 0
Oh, I see what you did there.