Today, my girlfriend told me she didn't want to get it on with me because she didn't want to "ruin my innocence." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend kindly broke the news to me that she doesn't want to take part in any sexual activity anymore because it's getting too boring. FML
Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML
Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML
Today, I started coming on to my girlfriend, only to get a nasty rejection. I told her I would just go jerk off, to which she replied, "Don't you dare!" FML
Today, my girlfriend came up to me and told me we would never do anything sexual in our relationship. She said I was too adorable to take seriously in bed. FML
Today, my normally-prudish girlfriend grabbed my crotch and said, "I want you to fuck me like I've never been fucked." I obliged. She loved it, until after we'd finished, when she decided that she felt "cheap, gross, and used" and started a huge fight. FML
Today, as things were getting hot with my girlfriend, it came up that I'm a virgin. She broke up with me. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML
Today, my virgin girlfriend who wanted to lose her virginity to me got on Google, and quizzed me on how to properly put on a condom. She doesn't trust me. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was sexually frustrated. Naturally, I started coming on to her, only for her to shove me away and snap that just because she was sexually frustrated, it didn't mean that she wanted sex. Huh? FML
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Top comments
WolfieZero 1
I think to say "get it on with me" shows you should keep your innocence...
Pastor_Rich 0
that means she's banging someone else, run like the wind
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Comments (60)
stavesacregt 0
lol yeah it's because you said get it on. this isn't Billy Madison. we say to have sex now lol. very innocent. try telling her that you never were and kinda take control of the situation. might work for ya
Magnus_the_Red 0
yeah...i see each comment about "get it on"...but i'm pretty positive i did NOT say get it on...anyone happen to know if this site changes your text during the whole confirmation process?
cmac86 24
that was really nice and considerate of her.
awesomebeastuga 0
you should wait till you're married anyway
Magnus_the_Red 0
unfortunately, no...
silly_kate 0
ouch about the threesome! what a ****! im sure you can do better!
Darkness27oz 0
Can i have your ex girlfriends number? lol
reddeath_fml 2
that sucks. one of my friends was told that, but about a month later they ended up having sex. good luck
acoti 0
You should surprise buttsecks her....that'll show her how innocent you are.
ImTheUser 0
three different women have rejected me because i seem TOO innocently
Rach_star 0
She sounded nice and sweet . . . Then i read all the other stuff you put about her.