Today, my girlfriend came up to me and told me we would never do anything sexual in our relationship. She said I was too adorable to take seriously in bed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to my girlfriend's and she was wearing some sexy lingerie. After making out passionately for 10 minutes, I started to undress myself, only to have her stop me, confessed that she still wasn't sexually attracted to me. FML
Today, my girlfriend kindly broke the news to me that she doesn't want to take part in any sexual activity anymore because it's getting too boring. FML
Today, I had a cute girl over and we cuddled on my bed. Later she texted me that she had decided that she didn't want to ever do that again because it turned her on. FML
Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she didn't want to get it on with me because she didn't want to "ruin my innocence." FML
Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm not in the mood anymore." FML
Today, while in bed with my game-obsessed girlfriend, she told me I was a "noob" in bed. FML
Today, a cute girl was telling me about her weird fetishes. I jokingly said, "Remind me never to have sex with you". She replied, "Don't worry, I have standards". FML
Today, my girlfriend complained that we never have sex anymore. The only way she ever wants sex is missionary, with barely any foreplay. When I asked if we could spice things up and mentioned a few simple ideas, she said the conversation was making her uncomfortable and changed the subject. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was sexually frustrated. Naturally, I started coming on to her, only for her to shove me away and snap that just because she was sexually frustrated, it didn't mean that she wanted sex. Huh? FML
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Top comments
Murphy_21 0
In my experience its the adorable ones that make the best lovers. She's missing out.
Shadowflames420 0
She cheating on you.
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Comments (192)
theanamachine 0
that sucks lol
trollskitroll 0
Get a new bitch
robhammer 0
dump the bitch
DenisTheMenace 13
turn into a bamf for the night..
Youdumbidiot 0
just because she said that you don't have call her a bitch. you could be a little more consite and not be such and bitch yourself
willthelaxlegend 0
158 she is a bitch a giant one
PSYqualiac 17
168, That's not being a bitch. That's called a test. She loves him, but for him to have sex with her, she wants to see another side in him, one that's not so cute and cuddly, but more badass and sexy without having to be an asshole.
shorgenfunkel 0
Bail out; she can't be taken seriously.
dancingxthexmoon 0
No, I think just wants you to prove her wrong.
slappygecko 21
ABANDON SHIP
xyzyx 0
DUMP HER NOW!!!! I've been there, it isn't fun!
BillyDisselhorst 3
Amen
Shadowflames420 0
She cheating on you.
Murphy_21 0
In my experience its the adorable ones that make the best lovers. She's missing out.
cperagui 18
I'll keep that in mind
puffingdragons 0
Probably cheating on you and saying that so she can feel better inside.
podrummer9209 0
You know, I had this situation once. The proper reply is to say "Humor me" and then totally blow her mind.
Anubyte 0
Or blow something else
No_luck_dude 0
Well, your life is just blown.
Jabulls 0
******* LOL. This is like someone telling you that you have incurable cancer. A Jawdropper indeed. I have no asshole comment for you sir, you've been burned enough today, good day.
xd3box 4
This is nothing like someone telling you your life is over, ********. He can find another girl, but I don't think people can switch out bodies. People can make cancer jokes, but don't ever compare it to something like this. No one can know how it feels unless they have felt or have people describe the pain and the pure fatigue from radiation treatment. Bitch please
khan4rtist 0
dump the bitch