Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my normally-prudish girlfriend grabbed my crotch and said, "I want you to fuck me like I've never been fucked." I obliged. She loved it, until after we'd finished, when she decided that she felt "cheap, gross, and used" and started a huge fight. FML
Today, my girlfriend stuck her finger up my butt while giving me a hand-job, promising it would feel really good. It just felt awkward and made me need to poop. FML
Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I thought I'd be spontaneous and spice things up, and gave her a spank across the butt. She started crying. FML
Today, my boyfriend stuck his finger in my butt and I liked it, but I can’t ever tell him that or he’ll get that smug look on his face like, “I told you so, let’s have anal now.” FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time, and I tried to be sexy by raking my nails down his back. I guess I did it a little too hard, because he shrieked in pain, leapt off me, and limped around the room cursing and whimpering. Mood ruined. FML
Today, my girlfriend revealed that last night she decided to 'test how asleep I was' by putting her finger up my nose as far as she could. Then in my mouth. Then in my ear. Then back in my mouth. I slept through the whole thing. FML
Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML
Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML
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Top comments
diesel42o 0
she owned u on that one
sam_stalker 0
op she didn't think it was sexy, she did it for revenge >=~}
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Comments (370)
InsaneGenius 0
That's too funny! However, if she does it the right way you may find that you enjoy it; it makes for an awesome ****** for the prostate to be manipulated.
purple_sarah88 0
She obviously didn't want him to enjoy it though, it sounds like a punishment!
ChrisLTC 3
your girl must have massive fingers cos it's really not that bad I'm sure you have had ***** bigger than a finger! Probably more shock than pain!
gogokira 5
You realize that shit goes out not in, right?
gusgus36 5
so I assume that means you do anal? or at least stick your finger up her ass? obviously she isn't a fan and you don't care that it hurts. which is why she did it to you. so YDI. but if you've never done anything similar to her then you didn't deserve it
sourgirl101 29
You've made an excellent point!
ReynshineCutting 10
Unless they haven't yet but he's constantly asking/begging/pressuring her about it and he won't take the hint when she says "no I don't want to try anal, not even once".
colhyena 3
If anal hurts you, you're doing it wrong
Coldinside 12
Thank you.
Chris1019 1
Your quite beautiful gusgus
krazy_glu3 0
If a finger hurt and made you screamed like a little girl, imagine what it's like when a guy puts his dick in a girls butt. it's doesn't feel to good being sneak attacked huh? YDI!!!
ImanAzol 4
It feels awesome. Especially the part when she screams.
underguarded 20
Lol serves you right
ElMundio87 0
pretty sure it's not the same, a penis doesnt have fingernails
asteroth 8
Well said. XD
FYLDeep 26
A fingernail* Unless you're some kind of mutant freak, your finger should only have one fingernail.
ImanAzol 4
And your penis shouldn't have any.
n0obpr0 4
and you have lost your man hood
sourgirl101 29
Did she hand feed you chocolate covered pretzels afterwards?
CaptainPickles72 18
I laughed at this comment more than I should have.
kingtz 6
It's always a little disturbing when girls make poop jokes...
shadow1917 0
bahahaha u ******* deserve it douche-bag now Uve had a slight taste of what women go through when guys do that with no warning bet ull think twice next time haha ydi!!!
tammy0312 6
You must have been with some douchebags. I mean I've done it but he asked and was really gentle and stopped when I couldn't take it anymore (discomfort, too big). OP YDI
Coldinside 12
How do you know he's a douche bag? There's not enough background information given in order to accurately come to that conclusion...
ImanAzol 4
I don't think he was tasting it. Maybe she can, though. A little ATM
babelini 12
lol!