Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my normally-prudish girlfriend grabbed my crotch and said, "I want you to fuck me like I've never been fucked." I obliged. She loved it, until after we'd finished, when she decided that she felt "cheap, gross, and used" and started a huge fight. FML
Today, my girlfriend stuck her finger up my butt while giving me a hand-job, promising it would feel really good. It just felt awkward and made me need to poop. FML
Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I thought I'd be spontaneous and spice things up, and gave her a spank across the butt. She started crying. FML
Today, my boyfriend stuck his finger in my butt and I liked it, but I can’t ever tell him that or he’ll get that smug look on his face like, “I told you so, let’s have anal now.” FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time, and I tried to be sexy by raking my nails down his back. I guess I did it a little too hard, because he shrieked in pain, leapt off me, and limped around the room cursing and whimpering. Mood ruined. FML
Today, my girlfriend revealed that last night she decided to 'test how asleep I was' by putting her finger up my nose as far as she could. Then in my mouth. Then in my ear. Then back in my mouth. I slept through the whole thing. FML
Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML
Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML
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Top comments
diesel42o 0
she owned u on that one
sam_stalker 0
op she didn't think it was sexy, she did it for revenge >=~}
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Comments (370)
cheex87 0
lmao!
Seabass732 0
the question is: did it feel good?
cguinn17 9
he screamed like a little girl and barely finished, so i'm going to say no...
toooldforthis 19
lots of people are screamers and he DID finish so that's a "yes" :D
RedPillSucks 33
Yeah. I was surprised to see not many compliments about the fact that he DID tough it through and finished. If he was able to do that, I think he secretly enjoyed it, despite the screaming.
We_Li_Ve_Fr_Ee 0
^^ For some reason when ever I read your comments I tend to read them in a baritone black man's voice.
MRSladyFACE 0
I find myself doing the same thing. I'm so glad you said that.
milli333 0
hey if ur open minded it can feel good for guys. their prostate is the "g" spot for them. but of course a lot of guys don't like that lol.
aznboi408x 0
I'm sure he prefers to find her "g" spot
atthegates 0
im open minded enough to try it with milli ;)
ILoveEggnog 7
How fast do you think 74 will get moderated?
mddaily21 0
Do you like it
Exhausti 0
Maybe you should stop doing anal with her and actually care for her? Selfish pig.
mcs22 0
Amen.
CitrusGirl 0
YEP
Coldinside 12
No.
ImanAzol 4
Why do you think anal =!= caring? Are you some missionary only prude?
RedPillSucks 33
You do realize there are other positions besides anal and missionary, right?
phatdaddy62 23
Shit, I like that kind of thing!
ambowew 7
Not only did she call you out from pressuring her into anal again, she also had a dig at your finger sized dick. Girlfriend: 2 You: 0
PSQ91 6
Nice one.
chili_is_good 0
exactly and win
lil_teddy_bear 0
nice lol that's Wat I'm talking about lol
ThickHead 0
why would she do that if anything a pencil but her FINGER?! EW!
randomgf 0
So you would much rather have a pencil?
krazy_glu3 0
eraser or sharpened side?
deerescu 1
lmao!! win
riggens7522 0
hold on, let me get a pencil.
Thabb 0
A pencil? Really?
Celesta 11
A pencil without an eraser I'm guessing..
TaylorTotsYumm 10
Use one of those huge ones that can be bought at gift shops.
babygurl329 0
nice ^^
SoaRSniping 1
Thickhead < ********
badluckwind 0
yep, you deserved it!
ginmach 0
not so funny meow is it?
MrChocolateburri 0
Super Troopers ftw
bschro30 0
haha love that movie. Esp when drunk
alexandra412 2
"Uh your finger just went in my ass. Ow that hurts, take it out now. Oh, wait a minute. Ow, put it back in. In, in, in. This don't mean I'm gay, I don't like men..."
TahoeFMler 22
Eminem!
sophieehehexD 0
oh I just posted the same thing I didn't see you beat me :(
lemoncows 2
no ****
track69 3
haha gotta love Fack
mddaily21 0
WOW. you r hot