Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my normally-prudish girlfriend grabbed my crotch and said, "I want you to fuck me like I've never been fucked." I obliged. She loved it, until after we'd finished, when she decided that she felt "cheap, gross, and used" and started a huge fight. FML
Today, my girlfriend stuck her finger up my butt while giving me a hand-job, promising it would feel really good. It just felt awkward and made me need to poop. FML
Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I thought I'd be spontaneous and spice things up, and gave her a spank across the butt. She started crying. FML
Today, my boyfriend stuck his finger in my butt and I liked it, but I can’t ever tell him that or he’ll get that smug look on his face like, “I told you so, let’s have anal now.” FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time, and I tried to be sexy by raking my nails down his back. I guess I did it a little too hard, because he shrieked in pain, leapt off me, and limped around the room cursing and whimpering. Mood ruined. FML
Today, my girlfriend revealed that last night she decided to 'test how asleep I was' by putting her finger up my nose as far as she could. Then in my mouth. Then in my ear. Then back in my mouth. I slept through the whole thing. FML
Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML
Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML
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Top comments
diesel42o 0
she owned u on that one
sam_stalker 0
op she didn't think it was sexy, she did it for revenge >=~}
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Comments (370)
beep_boop 1
well you "finished" .... so it mustn't have been that bad.. I actually think you may have enjoyed it a little more than you are leading us to believe.
mddaily21 0
so do u like it!?
DemonNinja 0
sounds like she wanted you to know what it's like. I am openminded towards anal, but I won't get it from my girlfriend unless she gets to ... well yea... it isn't happening.. haha
reddwarf_fml 0
lmao. epic win
choirnerd9 0
1) You need something bigger up your ass to get the full experience 2) She was comparing your penis to a finger
Midgey93 0
Lol low blow right there :P
NPN_Scorpio 16
Not necessarily. Postillionage. Look it up.
horseracingjocey 0
Haha!! that is funny as hell! LMAO you totally deserved that one!! =)
JenL_fml 7
YES!
i_luv_u3030 3
ahahaha u deserved that one hun :) I suggest u don't ask for anal sex cuz now u kno how it feels
cptmorgan15 2
Not cool. The only way you deserve that is if you shoved it up her ass without asking. If you didn't, then dump her.
nuts_in_your_fac 1
winning!