Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a good idea to help me get over the fear of my upcoming rectal exam by surprising me with one of her own halfway through our lovemaking. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend stuck her finger up my butt while giving me a hand-job, promising it would feel really good. It just felt awkward and made me need to poop. FML
Today, while performing a rectal exam on my female patient, I inadvertently said, "Okay, you're going to feel some pleasure now." I meant "pressure". Her husband was in the room. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted to try anal, praise the lord hallelujah. As we were getting into position, she let out a rancid fart she'd been saving for my face. Apparently it was revenge for me seeing Mamma Mia 2 without her while she was at work yesterday. FML
Today, I wanted to wake up my sweetheart with a surprise blowjob. He surprised me as well with a knee to the stomach. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me head. When I came, she was scared of the "stuff" that came out. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML
Today, my girlfriend of 5 months walked in on me naked while I was on the toilet. She proceeded to tell me that she wants to watch me taking a dump. I'm both shocked and too hard to do what she told me. FML
Today, my boyfriend had to give me an enema. FML
Today, after years of faking pleasure with my boyfriend, I visited the gynaecologist. As soon as she touched my privates I instinctively let out a fake moan. FML
Today, my fiancée got out of the shower, completely shaved. I went over to her, wrapped her in a hug and asked her what the occasion was. She pulled away and said that she had a gyno appointment. My fiancée will clean up for the gyno, but not for me. FML
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Top comments
deviable 9
Bow chika bow wow.
9987coldplayfan 1
Did you return the favor?
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Comments (174)
hahachun 4
Sounds like my kinda thing :)
slitherbomb 0
Dude, SHUT UP! it's not a shitty situation. Bitch.
Bobissmall 13
That's so strange how it says you're banned #1...
flagg1888 3
If I hear another joke like "shitty situation" I am going to snap. It stopped being amusing about 20 FMLs ago
aFatFuck 0
You like getting things stuck up your brownie button?
genesisnirvana 11
The question here is did OP enjoy it?
Gfrigo 1
The jokes on her when her finger comes out poopstained.
Gfrigo 1
The jokes on her when her finger comes out poopstained.
tacovender 7
Lol sounds kinky ;{D
FurryPride 9
Nothing says "I love you" like a finger in the arse
DaFudge 6
Her fingers can't be that big.
Iheartfunny 1
She was trying to make it fun for both of you OP
zbajis 7
Practice makes perfect!
J0gby 0
take it like a man and stop complaining on fml...
hitmanoo 16
So your girl stepped it up and got intimate with your prostrate, and this is supposed to be an FML??? GFY!!!
n_epic_fail 14
your girlfriend must read Cosmo.
tj4234 36
didn't you realize what was happening when she put her strap-on on? There's only two places it can go afterall!
DncrHap 9
i approve of this. and, honestly, you probably do, too.
gojira666 7
A tip for all women tempted to do this: ask first.
FFPulley 9
Aaaaaand boom goes the dynamite.
DncrHap 9
^ so much yes to that.
deviable 9
Bow chika bow wow.
olpally 33
One or two fingers??
JurassicHole 5
Nothing like a little "rear intrusion" to set the mood...right? Right.
deathmetalkill 3
"The Shocker" Two in the pinky, one in the stinky. Or in this case, just jam all three of them in.
lorenzoman77 7
Luckyyy... >:( :)
detroitsucks247 3
Kinky?
Nanall 15
Did you get over your fear?
chuymac 3
I don't think his sexlife will ever be the same
sara_saturday 5
imagine when he pops a boner in the dr's office
starryxeyes 2
No unfortunately he did not, he did however gain a new fear: now everytime he goes to have sex, he's going to be paranoid that something is going to be shoved up his ass :-)
HomeAl0ne 20
I bet he's not going to mention that upcoming vasectomy either.
bryyxoo 0
Did you like it?
Weetart 8
She sounds like my kind of girl. ;)
ugottaluvme 0
Did you get a boner from just reading this?
Weetart 8
I got wet, does that count?
9987coldplayfan 1
Did you return the favor?
alan831 9
Props to you sir.
krysxkatastrophe 14
Some people are into that.
oops_im_fucked 8
But most people are not.... As you can see in my profile pic.
sxe_beast 11
...but it feels so good.
IndigoAcrylic 9
Hey #60! So it says on your profile ((yes ima stalker)) "I'm not very good at getting the negative thumbs"...But I see you are getting better at it! ;D
aligiorav 11
Dawwwww, what a sweet girlfriend, preparing you for it...
overthelimit 3
i know. at least she cares OP :)
Nosrebor 8
Overthrlimit- you think he said what the bunny on your picture said afterwards?
trollsemen 8
Then stick your hand up her ass for doing that. Wait nevermind, She would probably enjoy it.
NomOnShroomz 14
fail. EDIT: epic fail.
dmw25 0
Just stop
Tyger44 1
She's pretty anal abt ur exam isnt she? Too soon?
hailphire130 0
At least she cares a "hole" lot about his exam. I know, I fail.
oops_im_fucked 8
...anus... That is all...
minisquid 9
^^ You bummed me out with your lack of creativity.
flippityfloop 0
C'mon, don't be an "ass"
oops_im_fucked 8
I'm sorry :(
oops_im_fucked 8
What a pain in the ass...
hannahmorgan06 7
hahaha. Atleast you know what it's like now.
bizarre_ftw 22
That could be bad or good.... Depending
illmatic2 16
I think that I speak for most straight guys when I say that I would rather not ever know what it feels like.
MerrikBarbarian 9
not many straight guys actually.... any straight guy who has a clue about anatomy knows anal=prostrate stimulation... which a lot enjoy.
DjeePee 25
'I think that I speak for most straight guys when I say that I would rather not ever know what it feels' Oh boy, you don't know what you're missing. I never understood it: there is a massive hype about having anal sex with a woman (knowing that we don't have a rectum, that it's mostly not fun, but painful...) and not a single person is talking about taking a straight guy anal (whilst they have a rectum and are able to enjoy it deeply). Very strange.
BelleBelle_fml 11
#120-Women do have a rectum. And some people of both sexes enjoy anal sex because the rectum is so close to the ****** or prostate. Idk where you got that women don't have a rectum from, but that source is mistaken.
Trugita 0
Yeah, but there is a not so secret homophobia that comes with it. Not to say one wouldn't enjoy it, they would just never admit it/talk about it. A bit of education should clear that right up though. At least OP's g/f didn't give him "two thumbs up"! Eh, that sucked :(
Trugita 0
My comment was for 106 btw. FAIL for me.