Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a good idea to help me get over the fear of my upcoming rectal exam by surprising me with one of her own halfway through our lovemaking. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend stuck her finger up my butt while giving me a hand-job, promising it would feel really good. It just felt awkward and made me need to poop. FML
Today, while performing a rectal exam on my female patient, I inadvertently said, "Okay, you're going to feel some pleasure now." I meant "pressure". Her husband was in the room. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted to try anal, praise the lord hallelujah. As we were getting into position, she let out a rancid fart she'd been saving for my face. Apparently it was revenge for me seeing Mamma Mia 2 without her while she was at work yesterday. FML
Today, I wanted to wake up my sweetheart with a surprise blowjob. He surprised me as well with a knee to the stomach. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me head. When I came, she was scared of the "stuff" that came out. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML
Today, my girlfriend of 5 months walked in on me naked while I was on the toilet. She proceeded to tell me that she wants to watch me taking a dump. I'm both shocked and too hard to do what she told me. FML
Today, my boyfriend had to give me an enema. FML
Today, after years of faking pleasure with my boyfriend, I visited the gynaecologist. As soon as she touched my privates I instinctively let out a fake moan. FML
Today, my fiancée got out of the shower, completely shaved. I went over to her, wrapped her in a hug and asked her what the occasion was. She pulled away and said that she had a gyno appointment. My fiancée will clean up for the gyno, but not for me. FML
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Top comments
deviable 9
Bow chika bow wow.
9987coldplayfan 1
Did you return the favor?
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Comments (174)
PapSmearNinja 4
haha surprise!!
Jessa_Bo_Bessa 0
She must read Cosmo...
TorontoChik 0
Lol I was thinking of the same fml haha
Nikki0228 10
My, how.. Nice of her.. x_x
leannecloveryau 11
nice of her, i guess....
TorontoChik 0
This is the second fml regarding "inserting" and the "derrière" today..heh..funny..
fricknugget 3
cosmo?
PeaceOutx24 0
Wasn't there an fml above this one that was basically the same thing from a girls point of view? Hmmm.. Suspicious
capnbzarr 43
That's rape.
sjbdtz 1
Notice you said halfway thru. So it didn't stop you.
RedPillSucks 33
You failed to mention that the surprise was her x-boyfriend "Tank" who just got out of prison and missed "Pushing your shit in". I suspect the rectal exam wont be a big deal any more. In fact, instead of doing a colonoscopy, you're probably ok to just ram a Nikon with a telescopic lens up your ass.