Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted to try anal, praise the lord hallelujah. As we were getting into position, she let out a rancid fart she'd been saving for my face. Apparently it was revenge for me seeing Mamma Mia 2 without her while she was at work yesterday. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend asked me to lick her ass. I obliged, only for her to rip a rancid fart directly on my tongue. Its been two hours and I'm still nauseous. Apparently, this was revenge for my "badgering her" for anal sex. I'd mentioned that butt play is one of my kinks, and dropped it when she wasn't interested. FML
Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML
Today, while naked, my fiancée said there was something wrong with her butt. She turned around and I leaned in to look at it. She then farted in my face. On purpose. FML
Today, I went to my room to find my girlfriend on the floor, butt up, with her pants down. I elatedly took the invitation and dropped my pants too, only for her to tell me, "Not so fast champ, I'm trying to force some farts out." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I did a 69 for the first time and I was on the bottom. When she orgasmed, not only did she fart, a bit of poo came out with the fart, and actually went up my nose. I’ve gone through a whole box of tissues blowing my nose, but I can still smell it. FML
Today, I was performing the classic 69 position with my girlfriend. I wasn't able to control it : I farted right into her nose. FML
Today, for the very first time I got it on with my girlfriend. Unfortunately, afterwards I had a terrible tummy ache and let out a very noisy fart. I'm not sure she'll still be my girlfriend tomorrow. FML
Today, after her shower, my wife bent over naked in front of me so I went to dive in face-first, and she farted in my face for laughs. The thing is I physically saw some pieces of shit fly out and land on my shoe, and this was after her shower when she should have been clean as a whistle. FML
Today, my girlfriend farted in her sleep, woke me up because it was so damn loud, and my room smelt like rotten noodles for about an hour. FML
Today, I was having hot sex with my boyfriend. Then, I felt a puff of air hit my face and a rancid smell. My dog had farted in my face. FML
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Top comments
Allie614032 34
Oh come on, it's just a fart. It will go away.
BurnInDemonFire 39
I don't know if this is thinly-veiled homophobia, or if you're just a huge pansy.
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Comments (33)
Haylyn 8
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Women have a ****** for a reason, use it. Unless your secretly gay...not anything wrong with it. But don't beg a chick to do anal that's just ******* gross bro.
BurnInDemonFire 39
I don't know if this is thinly-veiled homophobia, or if you're just a huge pansy.
Stephanie Claire 12
Well... he did just watch mamma mia 2
AngryKitten 24
true that plus it can weaken the girls asshole and then she'll be in diapers lmao **** that I'm not doing that shit (no pun intended)
Allie614032 34
Oh come on, it's just a fart. It will go away.
blahblabbity 19
it’s a great movie though, isn’t it?
John Croasdell 4
Well that stinks.
Warmonger_Smurf 29
I’ll never get the fascination with anal. Come on guys, of the two choices. One makes her cry, one makes her moan. Maker her moan. But I do know of a girl who loved it. Although she could be the only girl who enjoys DP.
BurnInDemonFire 39
You might be right. Except for all of those women in **** who do anal, and all the women you don't know who like it. But sure, that one woman you know is the only woman who has ever enjoyed DP.
Warmonger_Smurf 29
Hate to break it to you, but **** isn’t really. Also strippers don’t really like you.
real life problems 26
I hate to break it to you, but there are women that enjoy anal and ask for it without crying as you describe.
The_candyman 13
Your acting like every girl gets pain from anal and every girl gets pleasure from vaginal. some girls enjoy just a little stimulation in the area of the anus and some love full on penetration. I have spoke with girls that have no problem with anal and will give it to their boy friends when they are on their period because they still want to please their boy friend and it's not a big deal to them and I know girls who enjoy it. sex is art not everybody loves the same stuff.
Emma Marshall 19
Yeah cuz **** is so realistic 🤦🏽♀️
Rabite 28
Please don't get any information about how sex works from ****.
BurnInDemonFire 39
So, you got to see Mamma Mia 2 2 times, in 2 days. That's 2 times 2 many.
Glowworm56 27
"Yes, I've been real downhearted, Gassed since the day you farted. Why, why did I let you try anal Mamma Mia, now I really know My,my that you would be so banal."
adelaine782002 17
I had a stroke trying to understand this 🤣
Glowworm56 27
I was trying to parody the Mamma Mia song.
d3rpb0t 10
Mamma Mia, that's a spicy meatball!
Sinshine 28
Haven't you suffered enough already seeing Mamma Mia 2?!
BLARGTEHTACO 20
Your fault dude. Can't put her though that shit.