Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a good idea to help me get over the fear of my upcoming rectal exam by surprising me with one of her own halfway through our lovemaking. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend stuck her finger up my butt while giving me a hand-job, promising it would feel really good. It just felt awkward and made me need to poop. FML
Today, while performing a rectal exam on my female patient, I inadvertently said, "Okay, you're going to feel some pleasure now." I meant "pressure". Her husband was in the room. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted to try anal, praise the lord hallelujah. As we were getting into position, she let out a rancid fart she'd been saving for my face. Apparently it was revenge for me seeing Mamma Mia 2 without her while she was at work yesterday. FML
Today, I wanted to wake up my sweetheart with a surprise blowjob. He surprised me as well with a knee to the stomach. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me head. When I came, she was scared of the "stuff" that came out. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML
Today, my girlfriend of 5 months walked in on me naked while I was on the toilet. She proceeded to tell me that she wants to watch me taking a dump. I'm both shocked and too hard to do what she told me. FML
Today, my boyfriend had to give me an enema. FML
Today, after years of faking pleasure with my boyfriend, I visited the gynaecologist. As soon as she touched my privates I instinctively let out a fake moan. FML
Today, my fiancée got out of the shower, completely shaved. I went over to her, wrapped her in a hug and asked her what the occasion was. She pulled away and said that she had a gyno appointment. My fiancée will clean up for the gyno, but not for me. FML
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Top comments
deviable 9
Bow chika bow wow.
9987coldplayfan 1
Did you return the favor?
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Comments (174)
timmysrule 2
important its the thought that's counts I guess lol
ImanAzol 4
Anus. The other ******.
uprising_fml 0
hah she sounds like a great girl . she was probably doing it in hopes of you getting used to that feeling (so you would feel less uncomfortable about the exam) and perhaps she even wanted to open you up to new pleasures . the male's G spot is located inside the rectum, meaning any male--gay or straight--could enjoy that feeling if they relaxed and gave it a shot. be glad that you have an exciting girl that is willing to expose you to new things, OP :)
ikickgingers 15
Uprising like the muse song ? If so like. And back on subject not being a guy myself ... Would you want to go into the doctors getting probed and look like it's something your "used" to ? You'd think most men would want to at least look uncomfortable as opposed to shooting a load on the doc?
uprising_fml 0
yes 'uprising' by muse . and you are a woman, so I assume you may have been to the gyno for a pap smear--I have had that done to me once and I was not nervous about it or uncomfortable due to the fact that I had already experienced the feeling of two fingers being inside me . it did not give me pleasure, however it wasn't as uncomfortable . that was my point--once that feeling has been accessed, he might feel more comfortable knowing what to expect. and that doesn't mean he will enjoy it, or enjoy it to the point of 'shooting at the doctor' (which fwi, many males experience surprise boners during rectal exams because by anatomy it should feel good for the male)
tylenol123 0
Ummm... Guys dont jave g-spot's Dr oz
MROMRO 0
Bullshit!
MROMRO 0
I'd punch the bitch in the kooch for trying to be slick.
meggs2209 0
I love the way you used the word kooch here. Lol.
ltsune 3
I feel for you, OP! You should just try to relax, though. Read some good guides about how to relax, just before you go to the exam. Or maybe watch a motivational video!
meggs2209 0
Us women, always thinking about you men. We are so considerate. 0=)
Lipsforbiting 7
Oh man. It's the thought that counts, I guess?
divadro102 16
Girl has g-spot, guy has some spot right in that tight space called anus. It rubs against a thing called prostate i think. And voila, manly g-spot. At least that's what scientists say. Me however, that area is off limits
Stoneyyay 5
lol she rawdawged it XD
cyberlorddan 6
How did it smell?