Today, my girlfriend texted me, telling me to come home quickly, because she had a "surprise" waiting for me. I convinced my boss to let me go home, and rushed out. Turns out the "surprise" was just that she'd bought herself a pet bunny. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got off work early to go home and surprise my girlfriend with lunch, only to come home to her in the middle of packing up all of her stuff. FML
Today, my wife told me she had a surprise for me when I came home. Surprise to me means sex, not a new puppy. FML
Today, I walked outside to see my boyfriend standing on my porch, looking confused. He explained to me that he had attached a prom proposal note to his pet rabbit, and let it inside my house to find me. We went looking for said rabbit, and found my dog halfway through eating it. FML
Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday. To surprise her, I told her that I was going away on business, and could not be there on her birthday. When I show up at her house to surprise her with a present and cake, she opens the door in her underwear, beside a man in his boxers. She was surprised. FML
Today, my girlfriend called me and told me she "had a surprise for me when I got home" in a sexy voice. So I hurried home, only to find a note saying she left me and took my dog. Deeply depressed, I went into the living room. She took my TV also. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was coming over for a surprise visit. I quickly tidied up, but not before shoving all my dirty laundry under the bed. When she arrived, she brought her dog in. Her dog immediately sniffed out the laundry and dragged my most embarrassing underwear into the living room while her parents watched. FML
Today, I got home from a long day at work, hoping to just fix dinner and relax, only to find that my cat had come into the house with a rabbit, and is now stuck underneath the cabinet. FML
Today, I secretly took a day off work, since I had to use up my vacation, and wanted a "me day." My wife called, and I was ready to pretend to be at work. Too bad the cat decided to come up behind me and meow loudly, alerting my wife that I was home. She's pissed. FML
Today, my wife suddenly texted me to meet her halfway between our house and the supermarket. I immediately put my shoes on and started walking, eager to get to her as fast as I could to surprise her. Turns out she was carrying three heavy bags and yelled at me for being slow and by foot. FML
Today, at work I got an urgent message from my boyfriend that there was an emergency and I should come home immediately. I took my last personal day of the month and drove the half-hour home. The emergency? The cat had vomited on the comforter. FML
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Top comments
billiejoeinabox 7
I don't see a downside to this.
glabberfasted 16
You got out of work early AND you get to play with a bunny? Sounds like a good day to me
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Comments (90)
Dumbledora 9
You were expecting something sexual, weren't you? Bunnies are awesome, though. They do, however, poop a lot.
calipilot227 16
That they do. But you can litter train them. Pretty easy if done right.
Bebbo_fml 21
Also if you garden outside their shit makes great fertilizer.
babygurll19 10
You get to go home early, your gf has a new pet; every bunny wins!
momo_sir 9
Nothing like a good pun.
Dashelle 25
Bunnies are awesome pets.
Pinkraincoat 18
Aww, that's sweet! She was probably so excited to share it with you! I love bunnies!
TheTedster 15
So what's the problem?
Nyx_fml 23
I bet you thought you were going to be ******* like bunnies.
CrazyMelvin 14
What is she, 5???
YellowKettleBell 31
Yeah, next she'll be wanting a pet unicorn.
dachayke 16
Watch out man, you might get the bronies upset.
Ziggy122 15
Not all surprises are ********. Quit thinking with your dick. Besides, bunnies are awesome and you got out of work early!
hamzor 5
Don't worry, play with the bunny for a bit and then play with your girlfriend :)
Farmillionaire 8
I have a little black bunny named niglet. (my wife whom is black named her that)
YellowKettleBell 31
If you're white, you'll probably still get in trouble for it :)