Today, my wife suddenly texted me to meet her halfway between our house and the supermarket. I immediately put my shoes on and started walking, eager to get to her as fast as I could to surprise her. Turns out she was carrying three heavy bags and yelled at me for being slow and by foot. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to the supermarket; it was taking me ages to walk home because of the heavy food bags. Halfway home, I realised I had gone in my car. I had to walk all the way back to get my car. FML
Today, I was helping my wife bring in the groceries. She was able to carry 4 bags and a jug of milk. I was struggling with 2 bags. FML
Today, I got off work early to go home and surprise my girlfriend with lunch, only to come home to her in the middle of packing up all of her stuff. FML
Today, my wife of three years asked me to meet her for lunch at Subway. When I arrived, she was standing in the parking lot. She handed me a footlong sub, said "I got you a turkey sandwich" and followed it up with "And I'm leaving you." FML
Today, I waited in the pouring rain for my wife to come pick me up from work. It was only after I was thoroughly drenched that I remembered it was my wife's day off, and that I drove myself to work earlier in her car, which was parked fifty feet from where I was waiting. FML
Today, I told my fiancée I was going to the gym. She gave me a dozen "quick, easy errands" that took me over three hours to finish. When I was done, I called her and said I was going to the gym now. She yelled, "You still haven't gone? You've been out for days! What have you been doing?" FML
Today, I came home to my wife packing a bag. We had been fighting recently and I understood why she was leaving, but then I noticed she wasn't packing her stuff. She explained that I was the one who was leaving, she was just packing my bag. FML
Today, I texted my partner that I was “on my way.” I then sat on the couch doomscrolling for another 25 minutes. When I finally left, I ran into him in the parking lot, holding groceries, staring at me like I’d just lied for the fun of it. FML
Today, I drove three hours to surprise my girlfriend, who I hadn't seen in three weeks. When she opened the door, she gasped, told me to fuck off, and slammed the door in my face. FML
Today, my daughter's school called to inform me that I needed to bring her some sneakers. Not feeling like driving the 15 minutes to her school, I told them I was away from town. Then I realized I was on my house phone. FML
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Top comments
Sia_Will 13
I mean, what else did you expect from a woman who is coming from a supermarket?
rnayyyyy 12
Not much of a surprise when she was the one who told you to meet her?
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Comments (23)
Vagitarian4life 14
Ungrateful bitch!
hellobobismyname 24
I know right?! How dare she want help from her husband after buying the groceries and walking with 3 heavy bags at least halfway to their house. Divorce her!
Sia_Will 13
I mean, what else did you expect from a woman who is coming from a supermarket?
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
Could have been that she asked him to meet her at a place halfway in-between and he thought he was being invited for a meal or a drink there. OP's kinda vague on the subject but there's no reason to think he knew she was coming home from the supermarket, that's just what turned to have happened.
Shade1982 21
For her to wait at the supermarket and call you to use the car to pick her up? If you have three heavy bags, don't start walking and subsequently get angry about the bags being heavy, you can't have it both ways...
rebelwithmouseyhair 18
Have you never bitten off more than you could chew and had to ask for some help?
rnayyyyy 12
Not much of a surprise when she was the one who told you to meet her?
mfmylifesrsly 30
Was legit about to comment that...this fml doesn't give much info. Was he trying to surprise her WITH something? And how far was the halfway point? Not much I'm guessing if you were able to walk..
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
OP said that he tried to surprise her by getting there quickly.
yerawizardlizzy 27
I was going to say the same thing. And surprising her by getting there quickly makes no sense. That wouldn't surprise me, it would make me happy. Though it's worth noting a vehicle would have been even faster.
sherri_baby88 36
She didn't say she was at the market, just halfway there from their home, giving an example of her location. She didn't say she wanted him to drive either. Besides, if they had a car at home, why did she walk to the store and buy more than she could carry? Fyl OP, because your wife deserved it.
Lalala579121 28
I think it's pretty common sense. It's either that or she's just chilling on some random street corner for no particular reason.
yerawizardlizzy 27
It's the norm to walk to and from places in Europe, so it makes perfect sense that she walked. It's possible she underestimated her ability to carry it all. It happens sometimes.
rebelwithmouseyhair 18
Right. Remind me, if ever we get married and I go shopping and find something you've been wanting for ages but I already have as much as I can carry, you won't want to help carry the groceries so I should just not get that present for you.
sherri_baby88 36
Never said I (or OP) shouldn't help. I said FHL because his wife was being nasty about a situation she created. If she was more specific then he would've driven to meet her.
Catdragon 40
I mean common sense would have told me hey if she's coming home from the store, I should probably take my car or bike with me to help carry the groceries.
jbivens1992 17
So take the heavy bags from her and enjoy a nice walk together back to your house. This doesn't seem like a situation to get upset about on your part. I'm a reasonable person and I would have yelled at you too.
LyricaSilvan 30
I'm not entirely sure you understand the word "reasonable," then.
Goblin182 27
The wife should have explained what she wanted OP to meet her for. Not just tell him to meet her halfway and expect him to figure it out. Come on, ladies, you know we guys don't think that way.
RayniDae 12
not gonna lie MN not what I thought. I was seriously expecting her to meet a guy and u found them
Eliiara 11
I think it's pretty cute you wanted to surprise her.
rebelwithmouseyhair 18
but since his wife asked him to meet her surely it's a bit stoopid as well as being cute?
rebelwithmouseyhair 18
So you apologise for taking your time, take two of the bags and walk home with her, and put the groceries away, leaving out the stuff you'll need to cook her dinner