Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend said, "People think I don't have talent,...

By drew_ar85 - 20/03/2010 16:30 - United States

Today, my girlfriend said, "People think I don't have talent, but I do. I'm really good with my mouth. Just ask anyone." FML

agreeclassic 37 125

vote type 1 6 704

Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Similar FMLs

By noname - 04/12/2008 05:55 - France

Today, after having waited three long months, my shy girlfriend finally gave me a blowjob. Everything was going really well until I said, "Wow, you're really talented. Anyone would think you've been practicing your whole life." FML

agreeclassic 11 664

vote type 1 61 925

Harsh

By Anonymous - 17/10/2021 16:59

Today, while talking to the girl I have a crush on, I bragged how people tell me I have a voice for radio. She responded, "And the face for it too." FML

agreeclassic 550

vote type 1 822

The Voice

By NotChadKrouger - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Today, I was auditioning for a talent show. I asked my girlfriend if I could sing to her before I went. She said sure. Thirty seconds in, she got up and mumbled, "You're only going to embarrass yourself." FML

agreeclassic 26 753

vote type 1 15 169

By PlayboyBunny - 19/02/2011 07:20 - United States

Today, the sweetest thing my boyfriend ever told me was that I'd make a good porn star. FML

agreeclassic 33 653

vote type 1 8 648

By Dying Whale - 02/03/2017 04:00

Today, I tried singing in front of my friend. She said, "That's a hilarious voice! You should use that voice when telling jokes!" FML

agreeclassic 5 704

vote type 1 747

By Anonymous - 10/07/2019 06:15

Today, I told my girlfriend she was beautiful. She replied, "Lit." FML

agreeclassic 1 606

vote type 1 266

Noise annoys

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend he is good at singing. Now he won't stop. FML

agreeclassic 11 164

vote type 1 42 391

What's so funny?

By Puleksy - 14/08/2023 14:00 - Poland - Brzeg

Today, I said to my significant other, "I think I'm a pretty good catch." She started laughing so heavily that tears came out of her eyes. FML

agreeclassic 701

vote type 1 229

By Sdutent - 01/03/2009 08:34 - United States

Today, I asked my girlfriend if she has ever had an affair. She replied, "Yes. With you". FML

agreeclassic 60 279

vote type 1 7 380

Take it while you can

By thanks..? - 03/11/2018 17:30

Today, my dentist told me I had a good tongue. That's the best compliment I've gotten in months. FML

agreeclassic 2 366

vote type 1 237

hpl_fml 0

Saturday 20 March 2010 22:01

wow just wow

karro 1

Saturday 20 March 2010 22:08

lol maybe she means talking? lol

Comments

Thundernutz 15

Monday 6 November 2017 7:39

Time for that STD test lol

VDM sur Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, at 1 a.m., I had my headphones on trying to watch porn. I live in an apartment with thin ass walls anyway, and I didn’t realize my headphone jack had come undone. The volume was terrible on the video so I raised it louder, not realizing it until like maybe halfway through the video, and my window was also open. FML

agreeclassic 140

vote type 1 553

Today, I was in Walmart with my mom. I was looking for some CDs I wanted and saw a cute guy. Then he nodded at me and as he started to walk towards me, I hear my name being called over the intercom. Apparently, according to my mom, it was time to go. FML

agreeclassic 49 503

vote type 1 4 209

Today, while waiting for a bus, someone started smoking at the bus shelter, which is illegal in my city. I politely asked him to stop smoking, citing the city ordinance. He just cackled and said that if I'm so concerned about the state of my health, I should start by losing 90 pounds. FML

agreeclassic 21 644

vote type 1 39 173

Today, some paddleboarders screamed bloody murder and called marine patrol on my family's friends, because the paddleboarders thought they were going to get hit or run over or whatever, even though they were politely asked to move out of the way multiple times. FML

agreeclassic 798

vote type 1 233

Today, I was watching the episode of New Amsterdam where a man's cancer goes into remission very abruptly. As the doctors wonder how the hell that's possible, my mom says, "God." Okay. So if this "God" controls what happens to your body, why is cancer still a thing? My mom is no longer religious. She's delusional. FML

agreeclassic 679

vote type 1 304

Today, I had debilitating stomach cramps and told my mom, but she said she was too tired to take me to the ER. I had appendicitis. Thanks Mom. FML

agreeclassic 4 847

vote type 1 263