Today, my girlfriend put a paper bag over my head while we had sex. Her reason? Because she thinks she is so good in bed she was worried I'd hyperventilate due to all the excitement. Instead I fainted due to lack of oxygen after three minutes. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I learned that my girlfriend is terrified of me seeing her sex faces, so she violently squished my face between her boobs during sex. I then had a severe asthma attack because I couldn't breathe properly. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to make love for the first time. The moment my bra came off, he started hyperventilating to the point of blacking out. So much for that. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. As I started getting close to having my first ever orgasm, I got extremely short of breath and started hyperventilating. His reaction was to cover my mouth to shut me up. FML
Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with a girl from home who I'd wanted for a long time. She has low blood pressure problems though, and when things got hot, she passed out while she was on top of me, fell and hit her head on the night stand. FML
Today, I went down on my girlfriend. In the midst of her orgasm, she grabbed my head with her legs, performing a submission most UFC fighters could be proud of, and she held on for so long that I almost suffocated. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me to 'spice things up in the bedroom'. When I asked how, he said I could try wearing a paper bag over my head. FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl and she passed out about a minute in. I panicked and thought she'd died so I tried to feel for a heartbeat. She woke up 45 seconds later and accused me of fondling her breasts while she was out. Apparently she has narcolepsy. FML
Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML
Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML
Today, while having sex, I thought I was having an orgasm for the first time. Turns out I was just hyperventilating. FML
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Top comments
grapisy 8
Still counts.
FUUUandyourmom 16
What a wonderful girlfriend you've got there!
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Comments (400)
nick315 8
put a bag over her head and put a pic of a mold and say just in case u hyperventilate or and also so u can say now I have something better to look at when u pass out.
FMLephant 2
Good idea! A picture of mold would help anyone get off. I wish I had thought of that.
whiteboy7thst 2
I kinda think it is?
Molzen 3
take the bag off..?
Garyy_fml 11
Pictures or it didn't happen.
HahaYDI 0
Lack of oxygen? It was a paper bag not a plastic one...
mustafa_fml 0
it's get hard to breath as u start sweating from all the sex. paper bags don't provide enough oxygen fast enough through a paper bag.
bruslywrestler 0
hahahahah wow your gf is great
Friaza 29
So you do it to yourself?
UnknownParticle 7
you sure there were no justin bieber photo on the other side?
androiddestroya 7
I doubt his gf's a lesbian
CurlyChica808 4
Win^^
jiimbo344 0
so she thinks your ugly cause thats what I'd do to an ugly bitch
bigmanj28 0
That picture says otherwise
JPLovesAnimals 4
oh nuts. do u have a bag over your head?? if not. do it now. even though your too ugly for anyone to have sex with you, do the world a favor. hey. try plastic(:
helterskeltersmi 0
like your profile picture?
abceasyas123abc 12
That profile pic looks like it was pulled off a website and isn't actually the commenter's own photo!
dearbarn 0
all I can say is.. damn.. what happened?
kcutie 0
omg eewl
BaconDave 12
Doesn't matter have sex
Hannahs_Man 0
She put a bag on my head, still counts! I just had sex! And my dreams came true
farfulz 6
LOVE the Lonely Island!!
AndTheRest 0
Totally thought of that song when I read the post, and now I'm listening to it now