Today, my girlfriend of 1 month came over and told me she wanted to talk to me. We sat down on the couch and she told me she was pregnant and that it was mine. I reminded her that we've never slept together. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that she feels pregnant. I didn't believe her, given how recently we had sex for the first time, so I told her to take a test to make sure. She's very sure now. FML
Today, I got a text from my girlfriend. After only having sex once, where I wore a condom and didn't even get to come, she says that she's pregnant. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend of five months is pregnant. Apparently, she stopped taking her pill two months ago because "we" wanted a baby. I don't recall ever having that discussion with her. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. She also said I'm going to be an uncle. FML
Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML
Today, my girlfriend freaked out, thinking she might be pregnant due to her period being late. I found myself reminding her that one actually has to have had sex recently to become pregnant. We've been living together, sexless, for over a year. FML
Today, my girlfriend told her parents that she's pregnant. We have never even come close to having sex, but she told them I'm the father. Not only is my girlfriend cheating on me, but her father now wants me dead. FML
Today, my girlfriend, who I've been living with for the last month, told me she's not attracted to me and wants to see other people. She told me this after months of dating and telling me she was thinking about having a child with me. FML
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Top comments
Mehness 0
She pulled a Mary on you.
iAmScrubs 19
Dr. Phil will know the answer!
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Comments (239)
XxGuard 0
Kudos for you for not sleeping with her. She clearly is one of those girls that just wants to make you pay child support. You should have just dumped her in a heartbeat. Teach her a lesson. This is something she will remember.
cetlawizard 15
sorry OP, been there & done that with 2 ex-girlfriends (both of whom saw the medical papers declaring me sterile) 1 was trying to adopt twins that she said were mine & the other had slept with my VERY fertile younger brother.
slickrasta 1
This one time your actually cool for not getting laid! High five buddy you didn't just ruin your life!
ImNoSuperman13 0
Psycho man. I definitely know how ya feel. my ex told my parents cause I broke up with her..
sarahmoloney 0
that deserves Steve Wilkos
crazy1100 0
ha sounds lik a friend of mine hahaha
bouncykiddo 0
Ouch
cardoor12 0
JERRY!! JERRY!! JERRY!!
kayomi 1
apparently she can't remember who she slept with
shabonquiesha 0
dats crazy