Today, my girlfriend of 1 month came over and told me she wanted to talk to me. We sat down on the couch and she told me she was pregnant and that it was mine. I reminded her that we've never slept together. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that she feels pregnant. I didn't believe her, given how recently we had sex for the first time, so I told her to take a test to make sure. She's very sure now. FML
Today, I got a text from my girlfriend. After only having sex once, where I wore a condom and didn't even get to come, she says that she's pregnant. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend of five months is pregnant. Apparently, she stopped taking her pill two months ago because "we" wanted a baby. I don't recall ever having that discussion with her. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. She also said I'm going to be an uncle. FML
Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML
Today, my girlfriend freaked out, thinking she might be pregnant due to her period being late. I found myself reminding her that one actually has to have had sex recently to become pregnant. We've been living together, sexless, for over a year. FML
Today, my girlfriend told her parents that she's pregnant. We have never even come close to having sex, but she told them I'm the father. Not only is my girlfriend cheating on me, but her father now wants me dead. FML
Today, my girlfriend, who I've been living with for the last month, told me she's not attracted to me and wants to see other people. She told me this after months of dating and telling me she was thinking about having a child with me. FML
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Top comments
Mehness 0
She pulled a Mary on you.
iAmScrubs 19
Dr. Phil will know the answer!
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Comments (239)
williamidc 1
first
bodmonontheblock 0
wow shes sleeping around a lot if she doesnt even remember who she slept with and who she didnt. what a *****
iAmScrubs 19
Dr. Phil will know the answer!
optimusprime0069 8
is she blonde?
NYC_Yoshi 3
I know the answer! bang her; then ditch the dummy.
sourgirl101 29
Dr. Phil is a "he" and he's bald.
NYC_Yoshi 3
you're obviously blonde though
bodmonontheblock 0
18 are you naturally blonde? they were asking if ops girlfriend is blonde
prince122 0
wow sourgirl if anyone was gonna try and defend blondes you just ****** it up for them.
iAmScrubs 19
27- 18 was obviously making a sarcastic joke because he/she is annoyed that 12 replied to the first comment with an irrelevant comment that is not related to mine.
sourgirl101 29
27, 12 was replying to #2's comment. Sorry you didn't get the joke. I guess you don't have to be blond not to understand some things. lol
YacL 15
I had a hard time reading your comment... something about it just messed me up. No, I'm not blonde, it's just that when I don't completely read something, my mind subconsciously fills in the blank. I'm kind of slow. Just goes to show you that you're right: you don't have to be blonde to not understand something.
PurpleRae420 0
GOLD DIGGIN *****
Blake4477 0
I think he was talkin bout his pregnant girlfriend!((: I think but I'm not sure!((;
bodmonontheblock 0
32: well thats a pretty horrible joke. please dont try that ever again
schaflava 0
I want to steal sourgirls identity. she's smart and has perfect credit!
lionandthelamb61 9
sourgirl, I am shocked (although I know I shouldn't be) at the perpetual stupidity and lack of senses of humor on this sight. I thought your comment was hilarious.
sourgirl101 29
lionandthelamb, thank you! I cracked myself up but you can't win them all over.(: 101, before my current job, I worked at a credit restoration place. It's super easy to fix your credit if you know how.
GabbyCharityM 0
You're not cool because you do this!((:
Aerious 0
Maury would be better for this. YOURE NOT THE FATHER!
bodmonontheblock 0
108: plastic surgery
firstrecon 0
dr Phil= opra, I'm walrus form. stay away friend, stay away
Docbee 11
Maury! Maury!
cocobulla1 4
lmao, nice gal u got there....
muchagente 5
praise the lord!
SchiTzenGiglez 0
lmao
Bereezy 1
Jesus #2.
Mehness 0
She pulled a Mary on you.
Billyfofilly 0
now that was funny
Every1luvsfmls 6
haha 5 = win
CryMoreFMLs 15
Ingenious comment AND picture! Ladies and gentlemen, we have our new spotlight FMLer of the week.
Tess_fml 7
WIN, 5
frolick123 0
okay that was genius
Mayshod 3
She's clearly an idiot. You've lucked out dodging a bullet. Wish her luck with the father and move on.
No_LoveMM 3
FML because child isn't yours or FML because you don't have sex?
FlashBurn 13
I would think the FML is kinda both.
0opsie 6
I thought it was an FML because she cheated.
shakethat 10
agree with 64. it's not an fml that they didn't have sex because it'd could be his baby and they've only dated a month. with that given it's def fml for dating a ***** who cheated and it's trying to lie and make him the father.
california283 6
f his life cause the next thing she told him was that hE didn't sleep with her ... but shE had sex with him... while he was unconscious. awk.
Egnar 19
She didn't necessarily cheat - They've been dating for 1 month. It's very possible she's more than a month pregnant but is trying to rope him into it because she has no idea who the father is. . .Frankly, this is a girl you probably don't want to get involved with.
fylnotmine89 1
Well we don't know if she cheated. I think the fml is for having such a dumb ass gf! lol
valri3 0
True. What is the FML about?
browntiga 0
exactly his gf is so stupid she thought she could get a baby daddy without sleeping with the guy first.
booboo1234567 0
I thumbed your comment down because it doesn't necessarily take more than a month to find out if your pregnant. Seriously, you might want to read up in this. Knowledge is power and ignorance is how people end up pregnant without knowing who the father is.
softball1432 0
3 eweeks
mzeemzima 0
I think it's the fact that she doesn't remember/ care wether they had sex or not
snegec 7
If she continues to insist tell her you'll pay for the paternity test if it turns out to be yours ;)
twittom 0
in the united states she's allowed to decline and not take any test and still get child support. see: any men's rights forum
LeelaD 0
Not if its court issued, then when it turns out not to be his, she'll end up paying for it
NYC_Yoshi 3
"WILL YOU BE MY BABY'S DADDY!!!???"
abdullahfive 8
lol
Jiplo 18
I remember that one... Ahh, the old days of FML...
teentee401 37
Except if I remember that FML correctly she didn't ask him, she screamed "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!"
Eggers 2
if your girlfriend has to explain that she's pregnant AND that it's yours, you know something is wrong
Tsunami87 17
look like you've had a coloboma
SunshineBoy21 0
That is hilarious. Of course not for OP but, the situation. The fact that she tried to pin the pregnancy on you even though you didn't sleep with her shows you that she is a few fries short of a Happy Meal. Time to bail my man - put on your track shoes and haul ass out of there!
TheDrifter 24
She's a modern woman living a busy life. We can hardly expect her to remember which boyfriend is which can we?
some1azn 0
"a few fries short of a Happy Meal" LOL, what the heck??? :0
ppatty 0
that's awesome lol
Eggers 2
few fries short of a happy meal... I'm going to start using that. P.S. I'm suddenly hungry for Micky D's
Mitcha857 0
she's a few nuggets short of a 10 piece
Flutist 3
Looks like she can't remember which fry from her Happy Meals double dipped.
ArthursLifeSucks 2
No way can you leave now. You have AT LEAST 8 months of free sex! Bang it, bang it, bang it, dump it!
MerrikBarbarian 9
and you sir are a prime example of why even though im technically bi I've decided I'll stick with being a lesbian. :p
swick25 22
just a little fyi, you don't decide to be gay. it is "girls" like you that piss me and most lesbians off to no end. it is not a choice!!!! ******* idiot