Anonymous
United States
Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Tickdick
Pittsburgh, United States
Today, I got out of the shower and noticed a tiny leaf on my penis. With legs. Squirming. I have a new nickname. FML
stopinthenameoflove
Dublin, Ireland
Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML
why
United States
Today, I learned that my parents' nickname for my fiancé is "dickwad." FML
Pita
United States
Today, I learned that the cute pet name my boyfriend has been calling me for the past month is actually an acronym for "pain in the a**". FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I found out that my contact name in my girlfriend's phone is "Dipshit McFucktard". FML
Anonymous
Nice imagery
Today, I met my girlfriend’s parents. Trying to make a good impression, so when her dad asked how we met, I jokingly said, “She just couldn’t resist me.” Her mom smiled and asked if we used pet names. Without thinking, I said, “I call her my little burrito.” Her dad choked on his drink, and my girlfriend whispered, “Why would you say that?” FML
Noname
United States
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML
Anonymous
Cape Town, South Africa
The Conquest of Bread
Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around, tickling each other. He grabbed my stomach roll and told me it looked like a baguette. FML
nick
United States
Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML
loserllamalick
Rochester, United States
Today, my boyfriend was rubbing my leg. He started laughing and said, "Babe, is this your leg, or am I petting Daisy?" Daisy is my dog. I need to shave. FML
Top comments
spidergirl41 0
Does she like carrots? Also, don't forget the ranch!!! xD
Dmaster22 0
your penis is orange? JK FYL
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Comments (195)
Atomic_Bombz 0
Lmao its not even a carrot but a baby carrot FYL
Rydizzle 0
wow. losing all of your dignity. what a girls friend.
Satans_Taint 0
this was recently a topic on an episode of Rescue Me
nikktherocker 0
YDI, for having a small penis. What else are we supposed to say? Would It make you feel any better if she called it 'Big Bertha'? It's still a small penis.
JohnyJackhammer 0
That's what you get for having a girlfriend. If you just had casual sex with the women of your choice you could have A) Kicked her out of your house, B) Left, or C) Kicked her out of HER house haha. Sucks man
freakaroo 0
haha, kudos to that, casual sex trumps all
Supernatur4L 0
You should have just said. I guess that makes you my little playboy bunny is all.
fmelanieslife 0
Alright, I have to admit that's slick. I'm not a guy, but I know I would be mad if my penis' name had the word 'little' in it anywhere. FYL man.
osagi89 0
Thats why you tell them what its name is!! Why would you let anyone other than you give your penis a name?!
lindeezybby09 0
sorry dude. YDI for having a little baby carrot penis. but keep your ho on a leash, the bitch is runnin wild.
kubagami 0
lol, hey don't be ashamed. At least your ****'n! ;D
LoveIy 0
LOL Your girlfriend is awesome!! xD