Anonymous
United States
Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Tickdick
Pittsburgh, United States
Today, I got out of the shower and noticed a tiny leaf on my penis. With legs. Squirming. I have a new nickname. FML
stopinthenameoflove
Dublin, Ireland
Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML
why
United States
Today, I learned that my parents' nickname for my fiancé is "dickwad." FML
Pita
United States
Today, I learned that the cute pet name my boyfriend has been calling me for the past month is actually an acronym for "pain in the a**". FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I found out that my contact name in my girlfriend's phone is "Dipshit McFucktard". FML
Anonymous
Nice imagery
Today, I met my girlfriend’s parents. Trying to make a good impression, so when her dad asked how we met, I jokingly said, “She just couldn’t resist me.” Her mom smiled and asked if we used pet names. Without thinking, I said, “I call her my little burrito.” Her dad choked on his drink, and my girlfriend whispered, “Why would you say that?” FML
Noname
United States
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML
Anonymous
Cape Town, South Africa
The Conquest of Bread
Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around, tickling each other. He grabbed my stomach roll and told me it looked like a baguette. FML
nick
United States
Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML
loserllamalick
Rochester, United States
Today, my boyfriend was rubbing my leg. He started laughing and said, "Babe, is this your leg, or am I petting Daisy?" Daisy is my dog. I need to shave. FML
Top comments
spidergirl41 0
Does she like carrots? Also, don't forget the ranch!!! xD
Dmaster22 0
your penis is orange? JK FYL
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (195)
gemini02 0
One of the funniest I've read in a while!
tommyboy1392 0
really my girlfriend named mine the great white. YDI for having a small ****. go **** a bunny
YungMarlon23 0
Ahahahahahahah!!! FAAAAAIL, dats jus sad! ahahahaha
Waffleiron 0
Ask if your girlfriend can rename your dong Falcon Punch. Or just christen it yourself and have a ceremony with her.
Kiwi_Splash 0
It's better that she hinted it off in a cute way rather than gossiping about it to all her girlfriends.
blockaid56 0
lol
EzZy_Alpha 0
Awww,that's cute.
_i_h8_my_life_ 0
Ha..whn i saw dis it made me lmao!!! but rly..mayb she was being kinky.. did u ask wat she ment?
jgrissom 0
Roflmao
Dopehead666 21
I don't understand why people want to name dicks.