nick
United States
Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
idontevencareanymore
Jarrell, United States
Today, my mom came home drunk and crying, so I tried to comfort her and asked what was wrong. She wasted no time admitting that she'd hooked up with her ex-husband, AKA my dad, but that it'd sucked for her because he has a tiny penis. Thanks, I really needed to know that. FML
Anonymous
Tampa, United States
Today, my dad came to my 8-year-old daughter's birthday party wearing a shirt that said "Small penis, huge dick." FML
Illinoisgirl
Hungary
Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML
paige
United States
Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML
Anonymous
He's still got it
Today, my dad got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML
Anonymous
News to me
Today, my dad told me he liked men. While he was making a drunken speech. At my wedding. FML
HeIsKindaRightTho
Houghton, United States
Today, I video-chatted with my mom and showed her my new, very short haircut. My dad walked in, took one look at me and said, "I can only attribute this to penis envy," and walked out again. FML
yeah why not
Norway
Good question
Today, my dad had a little too much to drink. When he's that drunk, he likes to pepper me with a lot of random questions. He asked if I've ever tried hard drugs, and if I want to die. I answered no to both of the questions, and he demanded to know why not. FML
FML
Maricopa, United States
Today, I took my boyfriend to a family dinner. It went well, until my dad got drunk and started telling everyone about how "midgets" are assholes and are ruining America. FML
Anonymous
Zambia
Today, my dad drunkenly confessed that the reason he never gave me the sex talk was because he figured that I'm too weird-looking and socially awkward to ever get laid. He's right, all too right. FML
Top comments
ImKindaABigDeal 6
shoulda said "no I got moms abnormally large one"
cheerchika 0
hahaha. say " no and thank god" ;)
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Comments (158)
cheerchika 0
hahaha. say " no and thank god" ;)
sammy92 0
I hope not for your sake XD
andruha1123 5
this is an fml because he did
cheerchika 0
well maybe he didn't say anything back, maybe he was like "I had enough with his shit" and went to his room :P
Yousuck24 21
it would of been funny if the father repli
cheerchika 0
it all depends if this guy said anything back. omg some drunk people are entertaining to watch lol
ScaughtieHolden 11
You mean if the kid repliED, 25, the father asked the question.
mzeemzima 0
well.....did you
donkeyshlong42 1
56 you look familiar were you the kid in the harry potter movie??
DaveOnDope 4
This is for 28 30 years ago I used to go to a local truck stop around midnight to drink coffee and debug source code. (loads of free coffee) I loved seeing all the drunks showing up at 2am.
cheerchika 0
haha 105. I love seeing my friends drunk. they are soo freaking funny. I love itt
JuiiceBoxxJoshh 0
i thought he was someone from my school :S
j_cat187 20
say u inherited his tiny penis
sloppyflow 1
and his mum "abnormally huge breast"
Sway619 0
And you replied, "unfortunately yes..."
MichaelGood 0
^ now u can relate to him :3! (just playing not trollin don't worry :))
dcioth 0
don't u mean unfortunately...... puts on cool glasses ...yes YYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
jeff98 2
wtf are u saying u freakin nim rod
ImKindaABigDeal 6
shoulda said "no I got moms abnormally large one"
tkdgold03 5
sweet..
FYLDeep 26
From behind...
carnage1106 0
cowboy style...
SchiTzenGiglez 0
win
SkateboardGirl88 11
Hahahahaha
sweet_blue 3
haha that's funny
mintcar 10
Wow...that's a little odd. Did you?
FruityLoooons 8
...did he want to see?
africanelephants 7
the real question is, did he show him his for comparison?
maddiester 5
why didn't you just show it to him? you could be a grown man but he's your father. nothing like a son/dad bonding by comparing penises :)
ranger186 1
SWORD FIGHT
satanballs666 5
get some glow in the dark condoms and you get lightsabers
Gucci_107 0
# 42 LMFAAAAOOO!
SarahStarzz 0
so did u?
ashleighmef 7
yeah that's what I was thinking
ImKindaABigDeal 6
I certainly hope not. there's clearly not much to chip off
ImKindaABigDeal 6
I posted this on 10's comment but it made it a seperate one... hmm...
averageJoe1492 0
hahahahahaha that's hilarious