Today, my girlfriend dumped me for no real reason via text message. A few hours later, she updated her relationship status on Facebook to "in a relationship." Her new "boyfriend"? Her cat. A mutual friend commented, "Well, he's better than that idiot you had before." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend of 3 months broke up with me via text and said she was keeping the cat. I've had the cat since for seven years since she was a kitten. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me. According to his Facebook, he had a new girlfriend 16 seconds later. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML
Today, my girlfriend had someone else dump me via text message. I knew it wasn't her because for once I wasn't being viciously insulted, and it wasn't written as if an illiterate baboon had taken a shit all over her keypad. I can't even feel happy about being rid of her. FML
Today, my girlfriend left me for my best friend. Over a text message with "lol" in it. FML
Today, I rang my girlfriend to make sure she made it home alright. She told me to check my Facebook. Nothing was different so I hit refresh. We were no longer in a relationship. I got dumped via Facebook whilst on the phone to her. FML
Today, my fiancée broke up with me over text message while I was away for work. She later posted photos of her and her new boyfriend on Facebook, while still wearing my engagement ring. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She later put on Facebook that, "Today was a great day!" FML
Today, I had the displeasure of watching my boyfriend’s Facebook go from “In a relationship” with me to “Single”, then switched to a big “In a relationship with” the girl he told me was “just a friend” post, after ending our 5-year relationship over text message. FML
Today, I bought my girlfriend a cat. I now have a cat and no girlfriend. FML
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Top comments
vballgirly28 16
That's just weird. Seriously a cat? What can you do with a cat....never mind I don't want to know.
helpfulwhale 12
She really let the cat out of the bag on that one, didn't she?
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Comments (113)
thegreycat_fml 12
...Either she's lying about why or she needs help. I hope she's lying.
Ins0mau 20
I don't think she's actually ******* her cat.
jecka 9
Sorry to hear that. She shouldn't be breaking up with you through text message first of all.
DJEddieXZ 9
And that's when the crazy cat lady stuff begins...
DiamondxandxGold 6
she is going to be a crazy cat lady!
superman3212 8
the hell u doin on ur exes facebook anyway? ya just broke up. nuthin good is gonna happen on facebook -_- YDI.
TheCerealKiller 24
I've done the same thing. Except I didn't dump anyone for my cat. I just made him a Facebook and put myself in a relationship with him because I have no love life.
francismoncot 10
Clearly she likes the pussy
writerchic85 26
Male cats have barbed penises. Tell her to have fun with that.
LyricaSilvan 30
If she's seriously willing to say she's in a relationship with her cat, I think you may have dodged a bullet.